Next door Neighbor opened store in her house

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 5:46 pm

amother wrote:

octopus wrote:

you probably can report anonymously.

a landlord will care if they get fined. Confused

Probably I should report her. It is funny I posted here out of frustration. I never thought I would really go and report her. Does anybody know how do you report such a thing?

before you report on anyone, please speak to your LOR.

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 5:46 pm

amother wrote:

octopus wrote:

you probably can report anonymously.

a landlord will care if they get fined. Confused

Probably I should report her. It is funny I posted here out of frustration. I never thought I would really go and report her. Does anybody know how do you report such a thing?

you find out about your local residential bylaws ,weather not the area is zoned for this kind of stuff and then you request an inspector they normally have a city 1.800# ....It is also likely this "store" is cash off the books so the IRS might be interested too , but that is definetly a shaila for a Rav.

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2013, 5:56 pm

is her house attached to yours? I think im going to be the only one here to say live and let live. shes not doing anything to HURT you, no one is actually coming into your house. this is her parnasa, do you really want to be responsible for taking that away?

for all those saying that she should be reported, do you send your children to unlicensed playgroups? do you have illegal cleaning ladies? do you send your kids to backyard camps? all of those things are illegal too. when you are benefiting from something illegal, I guess its ok.....

MimiMommy

Sun, May 12 2013, 6:18 pm

She recently opened a clothing store in her home, and the "whole community" shops there? Either she isn't selling women's clothes, or she's an extremely savvy business woman, or there are no other women's clothing stores in your area (doubtful) or you are grossly exaggerating. Are people looking in your window? Blocking your driveway?

causemommysaid

Sun, May 12 2013, 6:19 pm

I think before you report her you should speak to a rov.

you are a jewish women and it might not be halachically acceptable to report her.

a din torah might accomplish the same thing without getting her in trouble with the authorities or the irs.

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 6:39 pm

MimiMommy wrote:

It's a small community and there are hardly any other store. She has good prices and before the holidays the cars are here every 15 minutes.

mirror

Sun, May 12 2013, 6:48 pm

amother wrote:

It's a small community and there are hardly any other store. She has good prices and before the holidays the cars are here every 15 minutes.

Okay, so play Jewish music right before the holidays, really LOUD.

Clown

ADON OLAM ASHER MALACH Wave

ADON OLAM ASHER MALACH Wave

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 6:49 pm

MimiMommy wrote:

It is a small dead end street and when we are out with the kids or we talk loud in our house there is no privacy.

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 6:56 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

amother wrote:

It's a small community and there are hardly any other store. She has good prices and before the holidays the cars are here every 15 minutes.

Okay, so play Jewish music right before the holidays, really LOUD.

Clown

ADON OLAM ASHER MALACH Wave

It doesn't help. I can't be too loud. I will be known in the community as a loud person. My kids are doing homework and need quiet or playing on the front lawn. We are used to peace and quiet. I don't always want to put on stockings when I go on my front yard Because it used to be practically deserted. Now it is a different situation.

Rubber Ducky

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:00 pm

I don't think I would report her. Having said that, I would look for a constructive solution to the problem. Is there any way she can minimize the intrusion to your privacy? What if...

she had an entrance to the store farther from your house?

she had fixed hours?

she requested that people don't park or linger in front of or next to your house?

you planted shrubbery between your house and hers?

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:02 pm

amother wrote:

MimiMommy wrote:

It's a small community and there are hardly any other store. She has good prices and before the holidays the cars are here every 15 minutes.

Oh boy

the cars alone would drive me bonkers , do you have small kids ? a mind the kids sign might at least alert the drivers that there are children to be mindful of.

Consult a Rav

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:21 pm

but yo didnt answer my question- are you attached or not? that makes a big difference in how I would respond, although I would never dream of reporting her.
I would speak to her and see if there is some way you could come to a compromise with her. I have neighbors who are coming and going constantly and sometimes it drives me bonkers, but at the end of the day its their house and they can do what they want with it.

Terri

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:31 pm

I suggest you check with a rav before taking such drastic action. I completely understand your concerns- but mesira (which isn't for anonymous posters to decide what is or isn't mesira in this day and age) and destroying someone's parnasa aren't matters to be taken lightly. I'm not saying you definitely shouldn't; I'm not an expert in these halachos....Consult with one who is.

Good luck!

marina

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:33 pm

I'm totally with Eema of 3.

Why do you want to disrupt this person's parnassah? Because of your privacy issues? What exactly does that even mean? And why are these issues more important than her putting food on the table?

cookiejar

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:34 pm

I have a feeling I'm gonna be unpopular here, but life is not always pleasant! Sometimes things are an imposition and are uncomfortable and are just the situation that Hashem put us in. Life is about working on your middos and looking the other way, and realizing that sometimes things are TOO BAD! Really, if ch"v ch"v someone close to you were stricken with a servious illness, would you feel annoyed? And like you are in a place to change it? And like Someone had no right to impose this discomfort on you?? No, obviously not! It is not within your rights to change this either, and feeling annoyed at ppl and situations only pulls you down in life. If you have specific things that you can enumerate and name and approach her with, you certainly should - like, "I feel like your store is open a little too late; it bothers me to have cars outisde my house once I'm going to bed". Or "it bothers me when ppl park too close to my driveway". And maybe she will accommodate you and maybe she won't, but you will have been forthcoming, mature, and respectful, instead of stweing quietly and generating sinas chinam. Really, I mean it seriously. Work on yourself. And I am speaking from very personal experience, please trust me.

lk1234

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:35 pm

I totally would be annoyed at this ssituation as well. Yes, it is normal to be really irked by losing out on the peace and quiet that you once have and odn't have any longer.

This is a tough situation.

I wouldn't be maser, but I would very very nicely say something to her about how it is hard for you to have lost your privacy. I would then try to talk to her about possible solutions so that your privacy is upheld to some extent
examples
1.make hours for the store
2. plant high bushes that seperate the houses

newmommy1

Sun, May 12 2013, 7:39 pm

I understand that this situation could be very frustrating to you especially if she didn't ask you ahead of time.
Honestly, I feel that nowadays it is so difficult to earn $$ and expenses are so high that it is not right to report her. Try to live with the situation and allow her to make a living and iy'H HKBH will reward you for your forbearance.

If her store hours are so early/late, that it's disturbing your or your family's sleep, you should speak to her. Same if you have a baby and it's disrupting his naps. Also, if you feel that your privacy is being violated, maybe getting new blinds would help and you can ask her to cover the expense. I've gone to stores in basements and I never pay attention the neighbors.

Hatzlacha