How early is too early?

Posted: Mon, Feb 04 2013, 4:56 pm Post subject: How early is too early?

I need to decide how long to schedule my maternity leave. I didn't have a job to go back to after #1, so I stayed home with him for 14 months. This time I have a relatively flexible job to go back to, and I'm not sure how long to ask for. My maternity pay only really covers the first 6 weeks, and that's where the money comes from for #1's nursery - so financially I should go back as soon as possible.

On the other hand, I'm worried about having to send #2 to daycare before it (or I) am ready for that level of separation. I've seen 3 month old babies in the nursery and they seem happy, but how early is too early? What did you do?

Also, how long before the due date did you go on leave?

Posted: Mon, Feb 04 2013, 5:04 pm Post subject: re: How early is too early?

I would have worked till the day I went in but since I gave birth on y"t I worked until the day before erev y"t which is when my office closed and I was already a week late. no point in sitting home twiddling my thumbs.

I started back at work when the baby was 5.5 weeks- but only part time for a week and then I went full time from 6.5 weeks. but I didnt send my baby to a daycare but to his loving bubby which made a huge difference in how I felt about it. but I would have had to start by 6 weeks or so either way. only 2 weeks of maternity were paid plus I used my vacation and sick days so I was paid for 4 weeks of the 5.5 I took off.

If its a flexible job will they let you bring the baby? work p/t until you are more ok with the concept of leaving it with a sitter?

im at a diff office now and I am hoping that with my next one I will be able to bring the baby with me. I still get 2 weeks maternity and will hopefully have about a week of vacation (so ~3 weeks paid) and we can manage a couple weeks unpaid but by the time 6 weeks rolls around I will need to be @ work. and maybe earlier since there is a big event that I need to work on about 2 months after my due date. so im hoping to maybe go p/t and bring the baby for a few weeks before sending it to it's loving bubby. (older child will be in playgroup at that time.)

Posted: Mon, Feb 04 2013, 5:52 pm Post subject: re: How early is too early?

Both my kids were overdue, with my first one, I started my mat leave 2 weeks before due date, turned out she was nearly 2weeks overdue. I went back to work after 3months, but in retrospect I would have liked to take another month or so. With DC #2, I alredy had a nanny so it was easier transition getting back to work, I think I went back also just before 3 months. There is really no one answer--everything depends on how the baby is and how you're recouperating.

What I did and I strongly recommend is, to do a gradual phasing in being back at work. I "volunteered" my last 2 weeks of mat leave as a kind of trial period, first just working 2mornings then 2-3 full days the following week, before being back full-time. At least that way I could get myself prepared with morning routine, and rigour of pumping/working full day, instead of starting Mon-Fri 9-5 all at a sudden.

OP if this is your second child, have you considering hiring a nanny instead of sending both to nursery? I don't think there's too much cost difference between two places at nursery vs a live-out sole-charge nanny, your children get more individual attention, and the nanny can help you with basic housekeeping/grocery shopping chores.

Hatzlacha.

Active Poster Joined: Jan 16 2011 Posts: 96

I went back 3 weeks after a baby. The biggest mistake of my life. But at that point my husband was unemployed and we had no income. He went in a few hours a day instead of me because I worked for a family member. I went in for one day to help out and then I just stayed. I took my baby with me and my husband helped me in work but it caught up with me a few weeks later.

Posted: Mon, Feb 04 2013, 7:19 pm Post subject: re: How early is too early?

I'm a public school teacher and surprisingly there really is no maternity leave. I finished grad school in may, had my baby in June and started teaching in sept, so I was home for a month then home with baby for 2... I have a full time sitter with him... We will probably send him to daycare so he will be around other kids next year, at least part time the other time he will be with our sitter. I've been really happy with this arrangement because she really focuses in just him and keeps to the schedule I want. She sends me pics throughout the day and takes him to a community playroom by us so he can see other babies...If u can get some

Active Poster Joined: Oct 02 2011 Posts: 42

I worked until the day I had my baby and was back at six weeks. Wasn't easy to leave baby at sitter right away but BH it worked out and baby was happy.

Executive Member Joined: Jun 08 2009 Age: 28 Posts: 322

Today was my 1st day back at work! With both kiddos- I worked until the baby was born and went back to work full time at 10 weeks. Hopefully, the baby had a great day at daycare today! Smile

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Executive Member Joined: Aug 05 2011 Posts: 376

With both my kids, I worked up until the day before I gave birth and went back after 6 weeks (yesterday was my first day back!). Its not easy leaving such little ones at the babysitter. but I trust her and mentally know he will be okay, even though emotionally I feel guilty about it. I find leaving in the morning is the hardest but once I'm at work its okay, and I call the babysitter to check in every few hours.

Posted: Wed, Feb 06 2013, 12:07 am Post subject: re: How early is too early?

I've worked right up to delivery with all except DS#1 (and that was because he was overdue and my replacement had finished training so my employer told me to go home and put my feet up...paid...so I did). With both DS#2 and #4 I finished the week and baby arrived Friday night. With DS#3 I left the office Sunday afternoon knowing I wouldn't be back Monday morning (though I did not share that knowledge!).

I was between jobs after DS#1, so went back when I got a new one around the 8 month mark. DS#2 & #3 I went back at the end of my paid leave and whatever paid vacation I had left (so DS#2 was 15 weeks and DS#3 was 17 weeks...paid leave is 14 weeks). After DS#4 I took 3 months unpaid and went back when he was 6 months old.
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Active Poster Joined: Mar 14 2012 Posts: 26

My first baby was born via C-section-so I went back after 8 weeks.
My second baby was a vbac and therefore I went back after 6 weeks.
Personally, until my babies were a couple of months older they slept most of the time by the babysitter, and when they woke up they both took bottles nicely. So, it was really no big deal that they were so young and going out already.
I think it was harder for me to manage a full day at work, and then come home and feed the baby....then for the babies to be by the babysitter.
Would your job allow a tentative time like say between 6-8 weeks and see how you feel?

Gold Member Joined: Jan 20 2009 Posts: 1259

Worked right up until I had the baby. First two babies I had 12 weeks paid maternity leave
Last 2 babies I had 18 weeks paid maternity leave but my boss was crazy and I cut it short to 14 weeks

With the first 2 babies I did not work from home.
The last 2 babies I worked my entire maternity leave from home.

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5778

It is not so much the baby going to a babysitter so young (at that age there really is not much difference in who holds the bottle or rocks the stroller) as much as it is ME not being able to walk!

Unless my first birth was just abnormally painful (I didn't have a job then) but it took me until about 8 weeks to get back to normal feelings, no pain, schedule etc. I could barely walk normally until about 4 weeks!
In the UK you get at least 3 months paid maternity. In the USA you do not have to get paid and many (jewish) businesses do not! You have 6 weeks, un paid, but you can claim disability for 5 of those! It is nuts!!!
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Gold Member Joined: Sep 22 2009 Posts: 1745

I didn't have a job after my first birth but found one and started when baby was 12 weeks. With the rest (3 ba"h) I worked up untill I gave birth and came back after my payed leave - at 14 weeks.

Posted: Thu, Feb 07 2013, 5:32 am Post subject: Re: re: How early is too early?

Executive Member Joined: Feb 14 2006 Posts: 403

I mixed it up depending on what my companies policies were.
With my first (long time ago and great company) I had 8 weeks paid maternity leave (c/s). 4 before birth and 4 after. We had guaranteed job back though for six months. I only stayed out for five months due to pressure from boss and ex-h for a huge monetary incentive.
My next two children were born when I was with a much smaller company. Nothing paid and they pressured all employees to come back at 6 weeks.
I went back at 8 weeks and 9 weeks (two c/s).

With my fourth, I was working for a different small company and the "Human Resource Specialist" aka the CEO was totally clueless about our benefits. He had just put together a booklet of benefits and it said we are allowed ONE WEEK off at no pay. I laughed (to myself) and told him to speak with his company lawyers but that is impossible let alone illegal. He was a bachelor at the time so I tried to describe a post partem woman's physical state at 1 week. Can't drive, can't stand - I had a c/s, I let him use his imagination about the more detailed physical issues.
A few days later a revised copy was distributed with the more appropriate 12 weeks typed it.
I had 12 weeks with no pay.

With my 5th, my company shut down and I took one year at home. The best maternity leave ever. Then I found another job.

I remember thinking at 5, 6 weeks, that I'd NEVER be able to leave her so little. But surprisingly at around the 6, 7 week mark she held her head better, nursed better, she even "communicated" better and though I was sad, it was do-able.

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 30 2009 Posts: 4635

Active Poster Joined: Mar 14 2012 Posts: 26

"You have 6 weeks, un paid, but you can claim disability for 5 of those!"

What do you mean you can claim for 5 of those? Please clarify.

I claimed for 6 full weeks, and by C-section claimed for 8 full weeks.

You can also claim Family Leave Insurance for Bonding with your baby for up to another 6 weeks, anytime until the baby is one years old.

Unless you work in an office with less than 50 employees, so your boss is not obligated to do a/t, and only let you file for 5 weeks?

Active Poster Joined: Mar 14 2012 Posts: 26

"You have 6 weeks, un paid, but you can claim disability for 5 of those!"

What do you mean you can claim for 5 of those? Please clarify.

I claimed for 6 full weeks, and by C-section claimed for 8 full weeks.

You can also claim Family Leave Insurance for Bonding with your baby for up to another 6 weeks, anytime until the baby is one years old.

Unless you work in an office with less than 50 employees, so your boss is not obligated to do a/t, and only let you file for 5 weeks?