My friend asked me, then why do you keep having more?

She said this after I told her that I don't like being around my kids. What can I say, how can I enjoy being around them? There doesn't seem to be one day they come home and there's not an argument, or fight, or wildness, or just plain not listening. I love my kids and I don't even think I have that many and I do feel that I can take care of them, but lately I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! You might say, you need a break, etc..., but it's more than that. I'm not happy overall. I'm not unhappy with my husband, I'm extremely unhappy with where we live. Every day I get worse and worse. I "spoke" to my husband about it and he knows, but how much can we do about it when this is where the money is now.

I'm sorry, but once again, something happened and I totally lost it! I'm completely falling apart and I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening!!

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3090

Not wanting to be around your kids=time for a vacation (from the daily grind and from having babies for now Very Happy

)

I could've written your post. I had a few kids before I knew what hit me! B"h I'm happy and thankful that they're healthy and sweet and typicallynormlchildren.

But I'm not cut out to be a mom! I'm nervous and angry more times than not.
And so, I took a break! It's NOT a Mitzvah to keep having more, if you can't handle them. It doesn't matter if my family and community each has families of 10 children on average. I learned not to care.

I also live in a tiny crammed place and need to move. I keep saying it will make me happier. But deep down I know it won't help too much, im only throwing the blame ontothat, I'm just an unhappy person by nature. I always have what to complain about.

So now I'm one break. Trying to improve myself and my marriage. And maybe my parenting skills?

Of course living better will make me somewhat happier. But t's not a solution! kids are kids and can really are every ounce of strength outta you!

If you live in Brooklyn, like I do ,you probably don't either see a way out of your tiny little apt. Crazy situation, I know.

Gold Member Joined: Sep 13 2010 Posts: 2128

your friends question was valid although not very helpful.

Senior Member Joined: Sep 20 2011 Posts: 121

@ OP..I think your post says (to me at least) that you are not getting enough alone time
I sometimes feel that way too, and yes we are also live in an apartment
But hopefully buying a house and moving soon..so will see how things will go than.
I do think having more space helps tremendously in raising kids, but so does a mommy who has time to be herself so she can focus on the kids with a positive attitude.

op here
Thank you everybody for your support. I actually have a lot of alone time and I'm on edge by myself. I don't like where I am and I don't like to go out because I don't like it there either. My husband said that we might go away next weekend if we can get someone to take the kids.

Gold Member Joined: Sep 22 2009 Posts: 1745

Can I give a strange suggestion? When I start feeling that I don't like being arround my kids I realize it is time to spend more time with them not less, doing stuff that are fun and not the ordenary play-supper-bath-bed we usually do.

I find something to do that we will all enjoy (especially me!) like having sandwichase by a lake or going out for ice cream. Nothing stressfull or work inducing so for me it is not stuff like baking or arts and crafts with them b/c that makes a mess and extra work for me and also nothing that requires me to give any kind of instructions because at some point they will not listen and that will frustrate me.

Only very relaxed fun things - for me its stuff we do outside so the house stays clean.
After a few relaxing fun days I suddenly enjoy their company again and am able to go back to the supper-bed-bath routine.

I would just throw them out the window it we live on the first floor over grass and they loved it and thought it a great game...yeah discipline helps only I was never good at it and they are rather noisy...but they do grow up and get quieter...
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"Olam Chessed Yiboneh", Tehilim 89.

I feel like this a lot of the time at the moment, I dont want to be with them either, and I do have time alone without them but when they come home all they do is argue with each other, and tease each other and make fun of each other, sometimes I wish they would throw a punch and move on but its constant verbal battles.
id like to know some good effective punishments for my kids to teach them to speak nicely to each other. and have respect for the other ones feelings. and also for my feelings aswell

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3090

I have girls and they do push and shove. I'd rather that than nasty cattiness and words that hurt forever.

Take heart, people, they will all grow up and be the best of friends one day.