Help me figure out how to deal with this situation

My 8 year old son is in day camp, and the past couple of days he has been coming home in a crazy mood. literally barking when I ask him to do something, banging things around, chutzpadik... etc. Today he came home so crazy, he was bothering his younger brother for no good reason, just acting wacked out. I finally got him to talk to me (beforehand when I asked him whats going on, he just said "mmhh" this is his latest meshugass and I told him until he can talk to me like a mentch, I won't be able to help him) so basically what he told me is, that he hates sports, which is what daycamp is mainly about, and there is another boy there that brings his DS to daycamp, and for the past couple of days he has been playing on the DS constantly the whole day or watching other boys play. Now for the punchline, this kid is asking for .25 cents per game, and my son owes him $7.00!!!
So here is the situation:
1. we don't have a DS because my dh really doesn't want one for this very reason (getting hooked...)
2. my kids don't get an allowance because we usually give them money for whatever they need, but lately they have been using their chanukah money when they go on trips to be able to buy a drink there (we pay a fortune for the trips..)
3. my son knew he doesn't have the money yet played anyway and this kid is harrasing him for the money

would you give your son the money?

No I would not give him the money.

What I would do is call up the camp pronto and inform them of the entrepreneur there and have them handle this inappropriate situation.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 18 2004 Posts: 2600

I would give my son a way to earn the money (doing a hard job or two around the house - even though I wouldn't usually "pay" for chores). Then I would deal with the bigger issues: 1. your son in a day camp that doesn't suit him. 2. the camp allowing him to sit out all day. 3. him playing DS all day.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 04 2008 Posts: 1607

Absolutely not. That child has no right whatsoever to extort money from other children. That is pretty close to if not outright geneivah, and it would be a terrible message to your son that this is permissible behavior. Secondly, the camp should be informed asap that you are not paying them to have your son sit around all day with video games. They need to be informed and they need to deal with this other child, as well as with their supervision of the kids.

Most camps do not allow a DS on premises...it's usually written in the guide book given out in the beginnig of the summer. SO if the camp knew this boy was "selling" games, they would probably deal with it.

Gold Member Joined: Dec 21 2008 Age: 27 Posts: 1519

Sticky situation. Maybe let him earn the $7.00 by helping you around the house like de goldy suggested and then have a discussion with him that this was not a responsible thing to do. He should really ask you permission beforehand.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 17 2011 Posts: 6012

I would also call up the camp. This is totally inappropriate. I would call the boy's mother. There is no how no way I would let my son pay this conniver.

OP here, my first reaction was to call up the camp, the thing that is holding me back, (which is probably silly) is that my son doesn't have the greatest social skills, and isn't exactly the "best" camper... so I feel like I don't want to be the mother with the problem kid that calls to complain....

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5894

I think the camp needs to be called, it's not about being the "problem mother." Someone is not doing their job well. I don't know any camp director who'd approve their counselors letting a kid play DS instead of participating in camp activities.

Regarding your son, I like the advice you got to give him a way to earn the money he owes. True the other kid probably had no right to do this business in the first place but from your kid's point of view, he entered into an agreement and now he needs to hold up to his end of the deal. Getting out of it because it wasn't allowed in the first place doesn't teach him anything useful. Then set up some new rules for the future - for example, does your not having DS include not playing with other kids'? Or maybe only not in camp?

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 17 2011 Posts: 6012

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4555 Location: Ohio

How is it geneiva? The boy has a DS. He said, it's 25 cents to play. The OP's son agreed.

Your son needs to pay. I like the idea of him doing extra chores to earn it.

And the camp for sure needs to be notified. Not acceptable that they are allowing him to sit out and play DS without telling.
_________________
mommy to 2 girls, 1 boy

"I would rather have my people laugh at my economies than weep for my extravagance."
--King Oscar of Sweden

Gold Member Joined: Mar 04 2008 Posts: 1607

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5894

Charging 25 cents to play with a toy is a LOT more appropriate than charging $100 for a soda. I think as a parent I would invalidate the deal if it was clearly unbalanced but in this case I don't think the kid did anything wrong unless it was a clearly known camp rule not to bring video games to camp (which it doesn't seem to have been, if OP's son was getting away with playing it through multiple activities. At that rate you have to be playing a lot of shtus to come up with a $7 bill!) I think the camp was neglectful but between the kids it was just as fair as selling lemonade or trading stickers. 8 years old is not necessarily old enough to trust them to know what's appropriate, but IMHO it's old enough for them to start trying to figure it out on their own, and definitely old enough to learn that if you agree to a deal like that then you will have to find some way to pay up.

What's a DS?

(I thought maybe it was Dear Sister? Embarassed

)

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5894

It's the equivalent of what Game Boy was when I was a kid.

BTDT, gave my boy the money and told him, don't do it again, because I won't pay the bill.

And then I'd buy my kid his own because he obviously is very interested in it. If he was interested in the sport, I'd buy him sport supplies, so why not this?

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 18 2004 Posts: 2600

Gold Member Joined: Sep 12 2011 Posts: 1965

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3040

1. Call the camp. You would not be considered a "problem parent" for this. I doubt they'd be happy to hear one of their groups is passing around a DS all day. They also probably won't like the money aspect. Most schools/camps have policies against kids selling their stuff (or the rights to use their stuff) to other kids.

2. Call the boy's mother. Chances are, she lets her son bring the DS for the bus ride and would likely not be too happy to hear he's playing it in camp as well. She may also not be happy about his charging money. Don't pay up until you hear from her- she may apologize and tell you she is going to discipline her child and please don't pay. If not, then pay up. Life isn't always fair. Front him the money and make him earn it back.

3. Have a discussion with your son about every aspect about this situation that is wrong. Make sure he understands why. Consequences of some sort are in order.

4. Is there a less sporty camp you can get your son into for the second session?