Special school for bright first grader with social issues?

Dd is in first grade, and doing well academically. However, she has pretty major social issues. Her classmates make fun of her. Her teacher and principal think she might be best off in a special school, but it sounds wrong to me. How can they teach her to socialize appropriately if the other kids are no better off than she is? And will her academics suffer? Is there a school in NY that would be able to address her issues without lowering her academic level? Any other options?

Gold Member Joined: Sep 12 2011 Posts: 1959

Before you can identify the solution you need to properly identify the problem. She needs an evaluation to determine what exactly her challenges are, and then if they are best met in a mainstream setting with one-on-one therapy, with a shadow, or in a special setting.

She has been evaluated. She's been getting therapy since she's a year old. She has/had sensory issues, high muscle tone, and speech delay. She was in a special preschool, but they couldn't help her with her social issues because she was by far the most social kid in her class. The next year she was in regular kindergarten with a SEIT, and that was much better for her.

She loves her friends, but she does not act appropriately with them. She talks in a baby voice, cries and kvetches a lot, makes jokes that are not the slightest bit funny, has some trouble making eye contact... Though the eye contact has improved a lot since she started kindergarten, it is still not amazing. Unfortunately, there is no more SEIT provided for her age. We are going to try to get her SETS, just to help her socially, but her teacher and principal think she might be better off in a special setting, since she may be incapable of learning to be socially appropriate.

If you like you can pm me. I may have something helpful to tell you.

I dont really understand... You have identified some of the things she struggles with- you said she has recieved therapies for specific issues, and you said she sometimes struggles with eye contact and playing appropriately with peers- but you have not identified an actual diagnosis. You need to identify the underlying issue that is the cause of all these different weaknesses. To me, it sounds very much like P.D.D, which is a diagnosis on the Spectrum. Lots of luck!

the jewish center for special education- chush

its a really good school that deals with girls like this. they teach social skills in the classroom. they work with each girl academically they are either on or above grade level. it depends where the girls start out and what they know.

- I wrote this out b/f but then my post got lost. I can't remember exactly what I wrote before.

there are other girls there that have social issues but they are not all exactly the same so your dd wouldn't be learning bad behaviors from the other girls. the teachers are on top of everything that goes on in the classroom and also outside of it.

you can pm for more info if you want,

there is also ivdu, which is in shulamit, I know of other mothers who are also happy with it.

not everyone can get diagnosed. dd has some similar issues, she was not on the spectrum. and the dr. came up with nothing but a speech delay.

It sounds like pdd to me too, nut the neurologist who evaluated her refused to label her pdd. She said it sould be that the high muscle tone is caused by mild CP, but she didn't do tests to find out. She has no other diagnosis.

I definitely knew she cries a lot, and talks like a baby sometimes (okay, a lot) and makes jokes that are totally not funny, but I didn't realize that she acted like that in school too. When she has friends over, she seems to be behaving pretty normally to me, so I thought she was always somewhat okay with her friends. I didn't realize that they noticed her differences and were making fun of her. At PTA, her English teacher told me that she just doesn't have any close friends, but the kids aren't mean to her. Now her Hebrew teacher told me they make fun terribly, and I'm shocked. I am not ready to move her to a special school because until yesterday, I thought she was 100% fine where she is. I really hope she gets SETS and it will help her.

YES! There's the perfect school out there for her.

It's called the Skillbuilding Center, and it's in Monsey. Many kids commute there because it's SO unique. It's expensive, though -- but that's how they can afford to really give each kid what he/she needs, and you can fundraise to get the money (or something like that, there's a whole system).

Every single kid has an individualized curriculum. The kids there have all sorts of issues, some of which are almost exactly like your dd, some of which are not. There are kids there who have social issues -- but other than that are of perfectly normal intelligence, some of which even highly gifted. There are kids there who have learning disabilities -- but socially and in all other ways are perfectly normal. There are some kids who have sensory issues, others that have behavioral issues, others that have emotional issues, others that have developmental issues, others that just couldn't achieve well academically.

They focus a LOT on social skills there, even on the kids who are developing "normally" socially. Their view is that ALL kids can benefit from social skill instruction. They are extremely flexible in giving your child what s/he needs, no matter what, and they'll work with the parents to get the ideal schedule for each kid. Most classes are small, some are one on one. Kids really learn how to care and work with each other and help each other. Again, if your child is gifted in certain subjects, she'll be given the opportunity to go much farther in those subjects than the other kids her age. They do sensory integration all the time there, which helps a lot of kids.

No, I don't own the school, nor am I getting any money for writing this. I do have one relative who works at the school (not the head or anything), one relative who sends her daughter there (similar issues to yours, but not gifted), and I've worked with the school before as a consultant and have been very impressed. I've also talked to other parents and to some of the teachers there...I honestly believe that there's no place like this around.

it was hard to make the decision to put my dd in a special ed school. but the schools strongly suggested that I should. now 2 years later I see the difference that it made, she is thriving

there are 3 schools where I live. it is hard to say where dd goes to school. she really wanted to go to the main school, where all the girls in my building go. but she was ok with going on the bus and going to her school.

If you live in brooklyn than I wanted to let you know that there is a small social group on sundays that focuses a lot of improving social skills and might help her.
_________________
Sunday social program forming in Brooklyn for children with social delays. Pm me for more info
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Silver Member Joined: May 24 2010 Posts: 597

Can some of her therapists do push-ins instead of pull-outs? My ds also has social issues. His psychologist does push-in services and acts like a SEIT during the time that she works with him. If your dd gets counseling, could her therapist do the same? Her speech therapist should also be able to help her act appropriately in class by teaching her pragmatics in the classroom.

I'm meeting with her play therapist tonight to discuss her case, but I don't think half an hour a week of counseling is nearly enough for her anyway.

Silver Member Joined: May 24 2010 Posts: 597

A half hour doesn't sound like much. Ds gets 2 half hour sessions a week legally, but because he has tons of missed sessions, he is really getting 3 a week. Is the therapist open to requesting an increase? I would think that being that your dd is ok academically, and the school would still consider special ed because of the social aspect, your dd should be getting counseling at least 3 times a week.

I happen to know someone who is a Social Skills therapist- she is excellent. she works with kids one-on-one to teach them social skills, and works with parents one-on-one to give them parenting ideas for kids with these sort of challenges. I have never used her, but I know her on a personal level, and I have recommended her to others who have been very happy with her!

she is in brooklyn. I am not sure where you live, do you live near brooklyn?

PM me for her info if u want!

On the topic of play therapists, any suggestions for 4 y.o. ds-highly intelligent and verbal with fear/axiety, bit high strung, some sensory issues-in bklyn? hes in reg ed doing well but with hard moments there over the day. have board of ed mandate 2x45. he is the ultimate play therapy candidate and does receive other therapies so feels no stigma. im going through a divorce-hes the oldest of 3 KA"H and has a lot on his plate (sigh). have had no sucess finding anyone to fit the bill. names/numbers/why you like them anyone? TIA!