Imamother.com :: PMs

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2012, 12:46 pm Post subject: PMs

im only anonymous so that the person who PMed me doesnt know im talking about her. im not here to make anyone feel bad

someone PMed me a few days ago about information she needed about something. I really took time out to answer her, and I wrote back a very very detailed response about all the pros and cons and everything involved. I was wondering why I didnt at least get a Pm back saying thank you for taking the time to answer it all or something like that. so I went back to my PM box, and I saw it was still in the outbox. meaning she never even read it! and ive also seen that since I answered her, shes posted a nice few times on imamother, so she has been back to this site since then!
she asked me a question, in which the info I took a lot of time to write obviously wasnt that important, that she never even read it!
I just feel like if she ever asks me another question on the topic ill just ignore it! honestly, im pretty upset right now! dont go asking questions if youre not interested in the response!!

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2012, 12:50 pm Post subject: re: PMs

I get my PMs both to my box here (that you can see if I read or not) and my email. Often when it is an important PM I read it in my email box, right away as soon as it comes. Once I have read it, I do try to come back here to reply and thank the person, but life is busy and I can see things happening.

Just because it wasn't marked read doesn't mean it wasn't read and appreciated though. It may just have been read elsewhere.
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Liba, mommy to Zlata Tova 5/6/98, Tziporah Faiga 1/12/01, Esther Rivka 7/13/04 and Avraham Chaim 7/2/2006

Gold Member Joined: Jan 25 2011 Posts: 2105

how do you know she didnt read your PM? I get an email whenever I get a new PM. In the email it says the PM. So it may look like I didnt read the message, but really I did

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2012, 12:52 pm Post subject: re: PMs

OP here, ok, thank you for clarifying that to me. I really thought she just didnt bother reading it. and I thought I liked her! I totally forgot about it being able to go to the email, because I dont have mine coming to the emails again. now I feel better about posting the whole thing!

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2012, 12:53 pm Post subject: re: PMs

<3 I am glad you feel better.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

a PM stays in the "outbox" until opened [as it clearly says: Outbox (not opened)], whereupon it is put into the "sent" box
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The results of our actions are not up to us or even necessarily a direct consequence of them. The only thing that's really in our power is our perspective, that everything that happens is for the (our) good.

Senior Member Joined: Jul 18 2011 Posts: 241

Was it me who asked you the q? If so I did not receive any Pms , not to my email and not to my inbox. I thought u just did not have to reply. Maybe it just did not send? If its not me just ignore this post Smile

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 18 2004 Posts: 2600

I actually see this a lot even on the site. Well, not a lot, but often enough that it bothers me. A poster will ask a question and get detailed responses - people really put time and effort into trying to help her with information - and she responds and gets more information, all the while without saying even a basic thank you. Bothers me a lot. (and not bc I'm the one typing up long answers - I'm not. Just bc it's so rude.)

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2278 Location: US

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2012, 9:06 pm Post subject: re: PMs

That happens to me too. I once sent a lot of information to a few ppl about the same topic, including pics. Only one person bothered to thank me, the others never responded at all. Then somebody else asked me for that information and I was really not in the mood of going thru that again, but I sent it out anyway. Guess what...she never thanked me either.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2012, 9:11 pm Post subject: re: PMs

I can understand how people read PMs in email messages, but what I can't understand is how that red YOU HAVE UNREAD PMS link doesn't bother them! I have one now that says you have 1 unread message which is just bold and it annoys me every time I see it.

Sometimes I delay answering when my answer will be lengthy. I leave it until late at night when I will have time to answer, and then I forget, so it goes a few days without being answered. Thank yous I usually send out right away though.
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