Ribbono Shel Olam Prayer in Krias Shema

Senior Member Joined: Jul 28 2008 Posts: 105

I know that this tefillah is about asking for forgiveness from hashem, but in it we also say that we forgive anyone that has hurt us etc etc. I'm going through a difficult time, and have been hurt very deeply by 3 people- there is no way I'll ever forgive them, and I just can't bring myself to say Ribbono Shel Olam by Krias Shema at night. Am I wrong, or should I be saying it anyway even though I don't mean it?

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

I didn't say it for sevaral years because of those kinds of experiences and feelings. I was advised to go back to saying the words even though I totally didn't mean them, as a tefila that I should be able to achieve this one day.

at the same time, I read chizuk about how unhealthy anger and resentment are, and that they hurt you more than the one who hurt you in the first place - it's sort of like finishing up the job for them.

in the long run, all this helped both that my feelings subsided/lessened as well as helping those I had been hurt by to impove their own behavior.

Hug

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Senior Member Joined: Jul 28 2008 Posts: 105

Thanks, strongima- that was helpful! although I don't want to forgive, I understand that there is a certain freedom in not allowing the pain control you- I need to move past it. Eventually, maybe soon, I"ll get to a point where I can try...

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

my goal originally wasn't forgiveness at all, it was to hopefully remove the bond between me and them, since hate and anger themselves are strengthening the bond and soul-connection - I simply wanted them out of my life and entirely out of my head.

The result was unexpected and a fringe benefit. (I'm still working on limud zechus - forgiveness may come later.) Bu8t I try to say the words no matter how I feel at the time.

If you truly feel that you cannot forgive them, then don't say it until you are past it.
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