Shiva asar btamuz what is allowed or not allowed to do?

Active Poster Joined: Jun 15 2011 Posts: 51

Just wondering what is and is not allowed on shiva aasar btamuz. Ii prob wont be fasting , I on ly fast yk and tisha bav, but was. Wondering if ts ok to go to parks, or biking, put kids in sprinklerr, shopping are any oof these no alllowed anyone kknow? I cant see siting home all suunday ddoig nothiing.

Judy - from the booklet put out by our Moetza Datit regarding Ben Hameitzarim I've gleaned that there are no other restrictions that apply to 17 b"tammuz other than refraining from food and drink.The attendant restrictions of Tisha B'Av regarding washing, wearing leather, marital relations etc. are not pertinent today (especially since it is nidcheh) However, you have to remember that the 3 weeks start today so keep in mind your minhag regarding what you do/don't do during the 3 weeks.
For me personally it would be "pas nisht" to go shopping today even though perhaps I would go during the 3 weeks and not use what I bought until after Tisha B'Av so as not to have to make a shehechiyanu.
It is after all a day that commemorates a phase of the churban (even if it is nidcheh this year) so I wouldn't feel comfortable doing anything too enjoyable.
Depends on how much you like shopping I guess or whether for you it's more like a chore?
The park and sprinklers wouldn't be problematic in my opinion - especially since these are activities for the kids (and it's summer.....)

Active Poster Joined: Jun 15 2011 Posts: 51

Thanks for ur reply. I think I would enjoy more the park and sprinkler than shopping. Its just so hard the wayy it comes out this year all weekends in july. I just wasnnt sure how wrong it was to go shopping or biking,

The 3 weeks. with all the fasting and restrictions and davka in the summer are really hard.
My main problem now is that the kids (all teens or tweens) really resent it and don't see why it is necessary in this day and age (especially living in Israel).
It's a very hard concept for them to appreciate and relate to.

I think that it's important to help kids veiw this period in the right vein. Ie. not just a bunch of restrictions, but rather a time that we remember and tune into the fact that the home of Hashem was destroyed, and is still destroyed...
I see it as a period where we so to speak join in and "empathise" with Hashem's pain and "homelessness" ...
and of course with that, the realization that all pain and sorrow that exists in the world today is only a manifestation of the "hester" - the concealment of Hashem's glory.
May we all merit to be able to tune into this reality, and join together in this mourning period, and really show Hashem that we are actually missing something... and waiting for our der Father to come back home.
Amen

Silver Member Joined: Sep 16 2009 Posts: 553

is it not ok to put new clothes on a baby during the 3 weeks?
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Thanks isramom8, I think it would be a good thing if more people understood this period in this way....
Be blessed.

Executive Member Joined: May 14 2012 Posts: 416

is it not ok to put new clothes on a baby during the 3 weeks?
I think it's okay but not during the nine days.

About shopping--I had a psak a few years ago that I could actually buy items of clothing (A) if it doesn't require shechiyanu (had to get kids socks one year), (B) if there's a material financial difference if you defer purchase (but on condition you defer delivery or actual usage till after tisha b'Av).

Last year I took my four youngest kids on a trip to Yerushalayim during the Three Weeks. I explained in advance that we're not buying new things. Then my 4 year old vomited and the smell was just not going away. I rushed to a store there that had a sale on kids' T-shirts, all the while listening to my kids trailing behind, calling out, "It's the Three Weeks, we don't buy new clothes..."

Gold Member Joined: Aug 24 2010 Posts: 1491

Are you allowed to do laundry today?

Silver Member Joined: Nov 21 2010 Posts: 707

How about a shower?
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Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

You can definitely launder and shower today. I am doing both too.

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5799

today has the same 'rules' as the 3 weeks.

No music, hair cuts, shopping for unnecessary things and weddings.

Also no eating or drinking for those that are fasting.

I wouldn't go out and give your kids ice cream and a trip to the theme park but a sprinkler in the local park should be fine. Don't punish them but let them know that it is a sadder time.

About shopping, I was told that if it is sale time, or you won't be able to buy it before it goes out of the store (like most things in this area now a days lol) then you can buy it but not wear it until after 9av.
That said I also heard its better to go buy new tshirts/underwear etc in the 9days than wash and wear clean!!!
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Gold Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 1434

Hi, I think that in the Book of our Heritage (Sefer Hatoda'ah) it says on 17 Tammuz you are supposed to follow the restriction of the 9 days. (not just the 3 weeks).

I'm not sure if I'm recalling correctly. If anyone can check the Book of our Heritage, please confirm, I think it says that on this fast day, we have the restrictions of the 9 days, not just the 3 weeks.
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Kol Tuv