Monthly allowance for clothes for 16 yo dd

She is in Bais Yaakov. She always asks for money to buy clothes and it is never ending. We live in a very wealthy community and she likes to look fashionable. We don't have much money but still I want her to feel and look good. What is the reasonable amount of money to give her for a month for clothes.

I would work backwards - how many new things do you think it is reasonable for her to buy in a year? Does she have enough clothes and just wants new things as well? Then work out the total cost (eg one new Shabbos outfit for summer, one for winter, two new skirts, two new blouses, underwear, one new pair of weekday and one of Shabbos shoes) etc. Now divide the total by 12 and see if you can afford it. If you can't, she'll have to manage with fewer clothes and/or supplement it with babysitting etc.

If you do this, be sure to explain that she will probably need to save from other months for YT.
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Senior Member Joined: Oct 03 2011 Posts: 136

wow I cant afford new cloths each month

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

a 16 year old is stilll growing, though

if you live in a wealthy community she should be able to easily earn good money babysitting.

I would give her a minimal amount for essentials (shoes, underwear, 2 shabbos outfits per year, several weekday outfits, school uniform) and tell her the rest she needs to earn on her own.

As another mother suggested, figure out WITH your DD a total budget for the whole year. Whatever it is, ask her what she is looking for, make her part of the process, it helps kids to learn about budgets and how to think through these things as they get older. This was what my mother did for em and I think it was a great move.

Once you figure out what is needed/wanted for the whole year add a dollar value to it then divide by 12. Decide what you are comfortable spending and have DD pitch in with either work around the house to earn money or other jobs (babysitting etc). I think it's pretty important that she pitch in a little if she is wanting clothes. I also grew up in a very wealthy area and I went to a school with lots fo wealthy families. My family happens to be quite comfortable and were able to provide me with the clothes but never had me pitch in. As I got older I had to force myself to think very differently about budgets and clothes. Until I got older and started working, I didn't realize how hard it was to earn an income. I think by helping your daughter be PART of the process so she can share with you what she wants its helps her to think ahead. When you decide how much you are willing to contribute, she can decide if its important to her enough to get more and if it is she can ork for it.

good luck!

Op here
Thanks for the replies. The problem is that she says she can't wear the same shabbos cloths in at least a month because every shabbos she has to have a different outfit otherwise she wouldn't go to her friends. It is a very materialistic community. I know that we spoiled her but now we are trying to save money and we can't afford it. She started babysitting but she said she wants to save the babysitting money.
Can somebody give me a reasonable dollar amount per month? Thanks.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 29 2006 Posts: 4773

There is no way to know, what's it being used for? How much clothes is she supposed to be able to pay for with it?
What do the clothes she buys cost?

Some of these questions you need to figure out with her.

Save for what?
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Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

here's what I think is reasonable:

if she NEEDS new clothing, ie outgrew things, had them wear out, rip unrepairably, etc., you will pay for the new clothing. if she WANTS new clothing, ie a fifth shabbos outfit, she has to spend her own money. you do not have to finance her excessive spending. she has her own money, let her use it. she can budget her own money to allow for some saving if she wants to save.

when I was right out of high school, I got a job. my mom told me that now that I was working, I would be paying for my clothing. that was fine with me, I had already been spending my own money on the extras I wanted. there is no reason for her not to have what she wants, as long as she is using her own money.

What type of clothes is she buying? Is each top $50.00 or $350.00?

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

She wants to buy clothing monthly, but your family doesn't have much money? She needs to get a job.

Have a heart-to-heart with her about her friends - perhaps she feels inferior in some way because of the wealth disparity. Do you think the other girls really notice if someone repeats an outfit more than once a month?

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 29 2006 Posts: 4773

OP, I think you should let your daughter save ALL her money. You should give her a very generous budget because c'v she be seen in the same outfit twice in a month. It is your fault you spoiled her and moved to a wealthy area. After all it is not her fault you now have to save money.

The allowance should be $500 a month. She shouldn't be seen in the same Shabbos shoes and accessories all the time either She must dress well so she goes out on Shabbos. All her essential clothes like uniforms and undergarments should not come out of her budget. She will need extra for spring and winter coats each year.

After all, she will be getting married in a few short years and then you can save. Oh wait, she will want to save her salary and you can support her and her husband. She will never learn responsibility and self reliance; but she will be well dressed.

I was allowed to buy two "shehechianu" outfits each of the shalosh regalim and for rosh hashana - assuming she doesn't grow out of them - that's a month's worth of shabbos outfits every year.

Other than that, give her 10-20 bucks for new accessories every month so she has something to show off to her friends on a regular basis

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4546 Location: Ohio

Op here
I know I spoiled her. Part of the problem is that about until about two years ago we had money and she got whatever she wanted. It is my fault that I want her to have everything despite our financial situation and I think she knows that I have this weak spot. She is also my only daughter and her brothers dont ask for fancy clothes (actually they do want designer suits and ties but I didnt get it for them and they don't care that much). I realize that I have to stop this crazy spending on her clothes. She doesn't need the shopping as a social event and she has a lot of friends, some are very rich and some are not. is 200 a month a fair amount? A shabbos outfit is about that price. I will tell her she can use her babysitting money as a supplement.