Should I report my unpleasant experience to her (long but wo

beautiful, beautiful post mummiedearest. I'll click on the like button, too. Very Happy

the volunteer coordinator called me today, she read my email that I sent of what happened and she said she is horrified at the way I was treated and is so sorry. we're metting next week for a drink. she also said that she thinks eva could be abusive so she's sent a notice to the holocaust centre telling them to pay visits to the house check up on eva - would be good if eva's gone home! at least now there is some record of eva down as a person to watch carefully.

I disagree that it was expected of margaret to side with eva over me. what's the point of keeping someone monstrous near you just because they are "family"? margaret did not lose any family in the holocaust, only her husband did. her family all survived in hiding. anyway, she has a daughter, grand daughter and 3 gg children, while not in this country, they're happy. she also told me that she has a sister living in hungary who is absolutely horrible and she wants nothing to do with her. well she can't be much worse than eva. she also has a brother who she has no contact with either. that's fine.
the decent thing for margaret to do was to, when the time came, find a carer if need be who was genuine. she is lucky to have extremely nice neighbours, who did favours for her, drove her to places, when why should they, when eva is paid to do all that - and was instead sitting at home 4 hours away. eva was scared that I would make a claim (she knows how strongly people feel about taxes), but while I would NOT have made a claim anyway (as I said, I was selfless, I spent money from my own pocket on margaret), the way I treated margaret was in a whole different realm to the way eva treated her. I gave her all the love in my heart, I treated her with such kindness. I used all my resources to add happiness to her life. we would sit in the park for hours, I would read to her or listen to her stories and she told me she had a good afternoon. you think eva would listen to her talk or listen to her stories? please
as I said, I would not have reported them (as others would), I wouldn't have made a claim I was not interested in her money one bit. I wanted to volunteer. however I think margaret's loyalty to eva is misplaced. my grandmother's friend left a lot of money to a neighbour who looked after her well. what matters is someone's decency and the love and kindness they show you. why side with a monstrous "niece" over a Jewish girl who helped you selflessly for over a year, treated you with respect and kindness, went out of their way to bring happiness and joy to your life. I was the most regular fixture in her life. I believe eva was also scared by the comments of the neighbours on what a lovely girl I was and how attentive I was to her. her doctor also knew me, which was very serious as far as eva is concerned.
it was wrong of margaret to allow herself to manipulated, regardless, by eva in the way she disposed of me with coldness and a mere cold "thank you goodbye". margaret has all faculties, thank G-d no alzheimers, confusion, nothing. she's amazingly sharp. she knew all that was going on, and it shocked me that at the very least, if she chose to protect eva's money over me, she could have at the least said to eva she wanted a few minutes with me alone to say goodbye. but after more than a year of friendship and selfless love on my part, and the good times I gave her, I was discarded like a pair of old socks and in a carefully planned act to get rid of me. I have never felt such coldness emanating from people towards me before. I suppose that margaret simply didn't value the friendship I gave her. I know many other elderly people closely, and I know that had they been in her position, they would have a huge amount of love and warmth in their heart towards a girl who had done for them what I did to margaret.

I certainly won't tell the coordinator too much about the situation, I will simply be subtle and say that eva saw me as a threat to her role as "carer"

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

Silver Member Joined: Jun 08 2010 Posts: 527

I didn't read every reply on this thread, but my first impression was that Eva probably told Margaret lies. She probably said that you were just after her money and I'm sure Eva had "proof" also. Maybe I'm crazy, but it seems so obvious to me.
Don't think that it was all for nothing. In the end, you made this lady truly happy. For Margaret's sake (as well as yours) I hope this gets sorted out because she is a victim of Eva's manipulations.

I just started reading this. she's probably feeling guilty. I'm not excusing her conduct. but you love her. how about calling? do you think she might be happy to hear from you? what does everyone think?

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 21 2011 Posts: 2683

eva's gonna answer the phone (if she's even there and not gone back to where she comes from)
she's probably also hidden/thrown away the op's number if it was written down so margaret can't call her

hey, just an update on what happened with my situation
today I went out for lunch with the volunteer coordinator. she is really horrified by everything and she said this sort of thing has never happened in the whole ten years she has been doing her job. she said my email made her cry. she said she spoke to the lady (social worker) at the holocaust centre immediately to warn her about eva and check on the house. she also sent a copy of my email to the social worker at the holocaust centre. this lady was also horrified and said that that's no way to treat a volunteer.

today, although I was very subtle about everything, but I gave the account, the volunteer coordinator realised that eva is guilty of fraud and has been manipulating margaret. she is going to tell the lady at holocaust centre about this. don't worry, next week please G-d the social worker is going to the house. when she spoke to eva (after having been called by the volunteer coordinator and after reading my email), she said to eva, where is the girl who used to come and visit, how come she does not come anymore? eva replied, we needed the keys back. the lady from the holocaust centre then told the volunteer coordinator what she said, who replied to her that's rubbish. of course we know the real reason.
apparently margaret's condition is serious and she is in and out of hospice.
so as I said next week the social worker is going to visit the house. as soon as my volunteer coordinator hears from her, she's going to call me. she said to me that she is going to try and arrange for me to say goodbye to margaret.