Help me word this!

Posted: Mon, Jul 02 2012, 9:01 pm Post subject: Help me word this!

I live on a friendly mixed block, with varying levels of frumkeit. I have a neighbor who is observant in some ways but not fully (keeps kosher, keeps shabbos sometimes, etc.). She does not keep tsnius standards and wears shorts, pants, whatever. I never have had an issue with her visiting as usually her outfits are within reason, although sometimes shirts are very low cut, tight etc. The other day however, she marches into my house wearing thigh high spandex shorts and a sports bra. I'm sorry, but it was so horribly inappropriate I was very upset. We are fairly modern and have a wide spectrum of friends and family but don't come into my house in your underwear and parade around. (I guess I am pretty upset). But putting that aside, how do I make this not happen again?? Advice please...!

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 21 2011 Posts: 2693

I don't understand how somebody that doesn't live in your house could come into your house?
first of all why does she have a key to your house when she is not a member of your family?
and second that just doesn't happen, you do not/cannot just walk into someone else's house. unless you are a member of that family or a close friend with a key and doing a favour for someone, you have to be invited in to a person's house
of course always keep the front door closed obviously

Silver Member Joined: Jun 08 2010 Posts: 532

Posted: Mon, Jul 02 2012, 9:48 pm Post subject: re: Help me word this!

Thanx for your replies: Marshmellow, I didn't mean she literally barged in, I meant knocked on door and when I opened it there she was in this getup. We are neighborly/friendly enough that she would expect to come right in, and did. Outatowner, thanks for the script, it does sound very good, I am so afraid that I would have trouble actually coming out with it (I am so nonconfrontational). My standards for others are not high, in otherwords, I have no issue with pants, reasonable shorts, etc. Like I said, we come from a very mixed background and I have family members who dress this way. However. I felt so disrespected by her decision to come to my home in what was basically a bra and underwear. I'm sorry but the nonjews on our block do not even dress that way.

Silver Member Joined: Jun 08 2010 Posts: 532

As long as you feel confident with your decision to say something, it should hopefully come out right. It's only the beginning of the summer- say something now.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Posted: Mon, Jul 02 2012, 10:21 pm Post subject: re: Help me word this!

thank you outatowner!

Silver Member Joined: Jul 26 2011 Posts: 805

keep a shawl by the door and next time it happens, just hand it to her and say would you mind covering up a bit more in my house? nicely, of course. I think the next time shell be carefull of what she wears to your house.