Gluten free home, and shabbos guests (challah)

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 29 2006 Posts: 4774

Unfortunately with these kinds of circumstances something's gotta give.
I keep thinking back to gebrokts on pesach. We are ultra ultra strict, eat matza on a separate table cloths and wipe ourselves and our chairs and the floor up before having the meal, some people in m family even eat their matzo in a plastic bag. Cross contamination is the issue there and we all have different guests many of them not religious.
What do we do?
we explain the situation to them (ya they think we're nuts Smile

) and then follow through with all this precautions, if something gets matza in it, we throw it out. Especially on pesach, no one wants to throw things out but we have no choice.
I don't think you're being unreasonable and I do think your concerns are legitimate but the point that FS was originally making (not the personal attack on your eating habits) is that when we chose to have guests, there are some things that give. Either we can't eat certain things, or things get thrown out, not ideal but it happens. And thats what makes the mitza so precious to Hashem, that we are inconvienanced (are willing to have added tircha) for the benefit of another person.
This is between you and your DH to discuss whether the tircha is something you can physically, emotionally, and financially afford.
_________________
"But it's no use going back to yesterday, I was a different person then"- Alice in Wonderland

I haven't read through all eight pages but here are my suggestions:

1. Explain thoroughly to your guest what your restrictions are. Don't count on someone else understanding that X also has wheat in it.
2. As much as possible do not have wheat products.
3. Plate food as much as possible.
4. For food that MIGHT become accidentally contaminated: purchase small portion serving dishes - and I mean small, which would have two to four servings in them - and put these out, one between two plates (for example zatar and oil if you serve that) with a small spoon. People will generally take from the one to either side. You and your dh and your children should sit on one side and keep small plates by you, that you can watch more carefully. Saves from throwing out stuff in case of contamination. You can refill when a plate empties.
5.
_________________
But then again, I'm a dragon.
"The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows he�s in prison."
� Fyodor Dostoevsky (via cosmic-rebirth)

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 29 2006 Posts: 4774

Shalhevet come on, be a little nicer!
She was just venting!
It is not easy to travel so far and not being able to eat while everyone else is.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 03 2007 Posts: 4448

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18318

Seraph, if you ever run out of food, take some frozen veggies out of the freezer and let them defrost a bit and serve those.
You can do it with most anything -- whenever you buy a loss leader and freeze them raw, you'll have that.

We lost power for 5 days and the kids in my building GOBBLED up the defrosted frozen veggies I brought out.
_________________
http://a-natural-birth.com
Let me know privately what you would like to see on this; I'm still working on it Smile

Complimentary ad for being a mod

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18318

Right, I'm saying to go ahead and freeze some. Peppers that you get cheap? Cut into strips and freeze. Most anything that gets frozen raw gets mushy enough to eat when defrosted...

People who have health issues, serious health issues, learn the rules of the game. Seraph you are new at this obviously which is why you are venting. It's understandable but if this is the type of eating that you are going to do for a long time or for the rest of your life you had better get used to a lot of things.

When I go to a chasuneh I can't have anything. I don't trust the kitchens anywhere not to have put things next to or near something I can't eat and the list is too long to explain to anyone. Also everyone gives their own peirush rashi what X means and are sure that even if I said mefeirush X it doesn't mean "their" X. So I don't risk it.

When I have guests I can't just serve what I can eat because that is much too limiting for anyone. Therefore I serve these days a lot of things - in fact most things - that I can't even taste and will never be able to taste again. And there are no substitutes for what I can't eat. You learn to live with it.

If the issue is not life threatening allergies of contact, be grateful. Just keep thinking about the people for whom a bit of peanut dust on their skin can cost them their lives.

Stop stressing food. Stress it in terms of what you can or can't eat to be healthy, stick to that, but if there is nothing for you to eat, then just skip a meal. Nothing will happen. This isn't Biafra, you aren't starving and even if you go six or eight or ten hours without food, absolutely nothing is going to happen to you long term. Try to always keep an apple in your handbag and a small bottle of water and you can go quite well on that for half a day if you have to. When people have severe food issues, one either stresses about it all the time or realizes that food just is there to keep you alive and if you have enough in general to keep you alive, stop stressing it. Or as someone with even worse food issues than I do once said to me so correctly, "FS it's your nisoyon, just don't make it into anyone elses".

Boy was that good mussar! Took me a while to internalize it but I did. I no longer "mourn" the things I can't eat and will never eat again and am grateful for all the things I can. An apple. A banana. A Mango, a pear. A cucumber, a sweet potato, a carrot, a bell pepper, a piece of skinless fatless boiled chicken, a sweet dried date, a can of tuna in water. B"H.
_________________
"Olam Chessed Yiboneh", Tehilim 89.

FS, I don't know how you can say nothing will happen if I go 6 or 10 hours without food! It's true that I will not die but I will not function... Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and nursing, but I will not be able to do what I gotta do to take care of my toddler and get supper on the table for everyone else if I skip meals.

I am someone who has a tendency to forget about food... I am not a food lover, and not food obsessed... But I have learned that if I skip food, it's not good for anyone.

I am off gluten, so I have learned to always bring food with me everywhere I go -- but an apple and a bottle of water will not cut it.

I think people are being too hard on Seraph.

FS's suggestion to take food with one is a good one. If you aren't going to be able to eat something keep fruit, or nuts or whatever is easy to carry and eat, depending on what your allergies are. One can never guarantee that a function well have what you need.

If going out to eat somewhere, just gently remind the host/ess of your needs and be explicit. While it may be clear to you that X product has Y (allergy product) in it, many people are just not aware.

If you are unable to go 8 hours without food then it is important to keep an "emergency pack" of food you can grab if an emergency comes up - you need to take a child to the hospital or something else.

Exactly HR. For me its a package of dried dates and a small thing of soy milk, for someone else it can be a package of natural fruit juice and a granola bar. For a third person it can be a package of organic raisins and a bottle of water. For a fourth person it can be a piece of frozen chicken breast that defrosts by itself along with two rice crackers wrapped in lettuce.