Nice dishes for shabbos

Executive Member Joined: Apr 20 2009 Posts: 299

We received china, silverware and several beautiful, expensive serving pieces for our wedding. I am hesitant about using them for company bec most people we eat by dont have such nice pieces and a lot only use paper. My husband feels that it is Shabbos and therefore we should use them because of the mitzva of kibbud shobbas. I don't want to be showy or to make ppl feel bad. what should we do?

Posted: Thu, Jun 28 2012, 4:01 pm Post subject: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

You can casually mention that they were a gift (the first time you have a guest) but I am with your dh on this one. Both my father and dh both have the same hashkafa and that is if you honor Shabbos, a lot of bracha comes into your house. I have also been to people that serve with plastic and paper, so what?

Gold Member Joined: Nov 11 2009 Posts: 1333

IMO, a shabbos tish is a shabbos tish and I see no reason why you can't have a nice one. Every person's standards are different and you go according to your comfort level.
I have gorgeous china, yet I don't' want to wash it every week so I buy fancy paper. That's my kovod shabbos treat.

Posted: Thu, Jun 28 2012, 4:27 pm Post subject: Re: Nice dishes for shabbos

Posted: Thu, Jun 28 2012, 4:36 pm Post subject: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

they may not be putting out the nice dishes when they have lots of guests since they don't have enough, or its too much work to wash up so much china, but they do use them when they have fewer people.

Absolutely use them. its shabbos, honour it!

Posted: Thu, Jun 28 2012, 4:54 pm Post subject: Re: Nice dishes for shabbos

Posted: Thu, Jun 28 2012, 6:04 pm Post subject: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

We use our best china and silver every shabat and holiday.
_________________
Certified Childbirth Educator
Certified Pregnancy Massage Therapist
Certified Doula

Executive Member Joined: May 22 2012 Posts: 426

I don't think you will find many people having a grudge over such a thing. I think guests who can discern that you are serving them on fine china will appreciate the fact. Many probably won't even know the difference.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

It is so considerate of you to be concerned about your guests' feelings. However, I find it unlikely that anyone would feel you are showing off by using china.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48155

I see that a lot of people have their best things on display and only use disposable. I assume it's because of the washing up. It's too bad.

Posted: Fri, Jun 29 2012, 7:57 am Post subject: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

We make it a point not to use disposables on shabat.

Posted: Fri, Jun 29 2012, 8:48 am Post subject: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

if you don't use it for shabbos, save it for pesach. you're supposed to use nice things on pesach if you can.

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

It's sweet of you to wish not to arouse people's envy, but I think you're carrying this sensitivity a bit too far. Unless your dishes are solid gold or you turn the china upside down to show off the Rosenthal logo, few people would consider you ostentatious for using your nice tableware, no matter how expensive it is.

People have many reasons for using disposables. It's not necessarily because they're too poor to have real dishes, as it's actually cheaper in the long run to use real dishes than to use disposables all the time.

Some folks hate washing dishes or don't want to be bothered on Shabbos. Some people like to invite more people than they have place settings. Some don't like their china but can't exchange it because it was a wedding gift from their mil, and some are afraid to use it because if they break a platter, there goes $150. And some consider their expensive dinnerware 'too good to use" and will pass it along, still unused, to their eldest child, who will not use it because she doesn't like the design...

Posted: Fri, Jun 29 2012, 10:35 am Post subject: Re: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

I myself am from the "don't like the dishes my mil gave us as a wedding gift" crew.

They were expensive; I had no idea how expensive till I broke one and wanted to replace it. (Only because I have a "thing" for complete sets, not because I loved the broken dish so much.) So now I was not only using dishes I disliked, but I had to worry how much money was going down the drain every time one broke.

Eventually I bought inexpensive but pretty dishes that I like very much and those are what we use all the time. The expensive set is sitting in a cabinet and never sees the light of day. I'm hoping against hope that one of our kids will agree to take them off our hands when s/he moves out. Because the dishes were a wedding gift from my mil, we can bequeath them only to our kids, not give them away to anyone else.

The heirloom curse in this case lasts only for one generation. I won't give a hoot if whichever child takes the dishes then gives them away. Though this trick resembles money-laundering in reverse, it's fortunately not illegal. I can hardly wait.

Posted: Fri, Jun 29 2012, 11:05 am Post subject: Re: re: Nice dishes for shabbos

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963