Do people give end of year gift to Morahs? Must I?

I was wondering about this. A little bit late because schools over tomorrow, but if it's something most people do I'd try to figure something out.

So do you do it? Is it commonly done?
I have one kid in a playgroup (with morahs) and one in elementary school.
I really do apppreciate their hard work. They were all excellent.

If you think I should give, do you have ideas? what kind of gifts do you give teachers?
one is middle aged, one is newlywed and one is single.
thanks!!

No, you don't must give a gift. What you must give, imho, is a thank you note that takes 5 minutes of your time to pen. I'm very hurt by the amount of mothers that couldn't be bothered to write a simple thank you. I worked hard for your kids all year and not acknowledging it is a lack of hakoras hatov.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 18 2004 Posts: 2600

A note is absolutely the most important. And not a silly poem. A real note thanking the teacher for specific things she did for your child/the class.

re gift - it's nice when parents do (and the best gift is always cash), but you're definitely covered if you give a real thank you note.

for playgroup..it's always best if you can chip in with other mother's. This year my dd's 2nd grade class collected which I was so grateful for. $20 from 20 kids for 2 teachers and 2 asst we got Visa gift cards which is a great idea.

Gold Member Joined: Feb 24 2009 Posts: 1983

I used to be a teacher and I remember how it felt when the parents acknowledged how hard we worked and gave us gifts along with a heartfelt thank you note. you might not realize it, but your child's teacher works very hard. and getting their salary is not the same as appreciating the hard work they do. I also found it pretty hurtful when there were kids who were diffucult sometimes and the parents didn't even bother to thank the teacher or express appreciation, please dont underestimate this concept.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

In the US it is commonly done. Very often the parents chip in together to get a more substantial cash gift or cash-equivalent gift card. That way, no one is embarrassed by giving a small gift, and the teacher gets something more useful than a dozen different doo-dads from the discount store. Certainly a personal note is nice, and teachers seem to appreciate that the most.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3034

I am a teacher. I am all for parents expressing appreciation for our hard work. But I don't want anyone to feel pressured to pony up. A heartfelt note does the trick. I know times are tough and tuition is expensive. What's "only" $10 for the mom of one school aged child is $50 for the mom of 5. I find the expectation of paying for a gift to be ridiculous and unfair. A note is fine. Really really.

Thank you everyone for replying.

I guess I will just write a note. Problem is I can't write. It will end up sounding very dumb. I know you'll say write from the heart, but that doesn't work with everyone. In my heart are the feelings not words. I have a hard time transferring them to words. Can anyone give me some idea how to write it. I won't take word for word, but basic phrases and stuff to thank for.

thanks!

Gold Member Joined: Apr 19 2012 Posts: 1611

Executive Member Joined: Jun 24 2007 Posts: 394

I have taught for 6 years and have always gotten an end of the year gift from the class.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 27 2010 Posts: 1975

We always give an end of the year gift to the morahs and babysitters, along with a nice card.
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Giving a thank you gift is not mandatory at all. It's just a nice gesture. Growing up, I remember my mother always did this and as kids it was exciting for us to watch the teachers get presents on the last day of school. Now, I try to get something, even if it has a modest price tag because I feel bad not showing any appreciation at all. This year, I was thinking of putting a note into a pretty picture frame and tying it with a bow for my sons' teachers.

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 09 2009 Posts: 3231

I try to give a small gift, but the cost really adds up- between teachers and therapists, I have close to 20 gifts to give each year. The thank you note is the important part- though I think a poem can be nice if it's personal. Not just a cutesy little poem that could have been written by a stranger.

I gave already twice this year. I am giving a nice personal thank you card.
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Silver Member Joined: Jun 14 2010 Posts: 693

Showing hakaras hatov is a must. How you do it is up to you. I personally can't afford a nice, mechubadik gift for each teacher and aid, but each year I find a way to create a personal gift that together with a nice note/poem shows the teacher that I am so grateful.
This year (feel free to copy!) I bought small thin vases at target (1.99 each), filled each with chocolate covered nuts (maybe another $2), found flower candies on sticks at Michaels ($.39 each, put 5 into each), and a butterfly candy fluttering at the edge (don't know exact cent cost). Then I wrote a poem for each one (see later) that I painted onto each vase (OK, not everyone can do this, but if you're artistic you can buy glass paints called vitrea that you bake onto the glass and they are totally waterproof/dishwasher safe). Put into pretty bags ($.50 each) with tissue paper and ribbon... and viola, a handmade gift that costs under $10 per teacher, but made with effort, time, and appreciation.

One of the poems I painted onto my son's teachers' vases (feel free to use it... just note that if your child's name is longer than 2 syllables, consider using a shorter verb than "encouraging")

For encouraging Baruch to blossom
For caring for him as he grows
For planting in him seeds of knowledge
Then tending and watering those...
Thank you!

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 20 2005 Posts: 5267

I have always given a gift. This yr the teacher really doesn't like my dd and I feel she is not deserving of my thanx. She made my dd feel so bad.

As a teacher, I wouldn't want to receive tons of little trickets that I have nowhere to put in my house... nor would I want personal items... and I would feel bad receiving money unless I worked in a public school. Maybe because I'm also a parent so I get it.

With only two kids, say, in middle school, it would make more than 20 GIFTS AND CHECKS (and poems, if you do that). That + tuition + mishloach manot/Hanuka gelt if you have to do it in your school.

It's not the parents' fault, not the teachers' fault, it's the school who shouldn't set these expectations.

A mean teacher needs to be reported, not just to not have his gift.

Silver Member Joined: Nov 30 2010 Posts: 650

At the end of year I give a thank you card. I feel that Chanukah gelt and shalach manos are enough of a gift. Some years I also send a cake for Rosh Hashana and Shavuos.

My friend gives a gift card for a manicure as an end of the year present. I think that's smart because it's practical and not expensive.