Nicer things for Pesach= halacha? minhag? inyun?

I am the OP of the shabbos cups thread.

In short, my husband was against getting cut crystal glasses for Shabbos cause you need to save your fanciest things for Pesach.

His parents are both BT and he grew up with plain glass plates and cups for shabbos (and weekday) and nice cut crystal plates and cups for Pesach.

He said this is a halacha.

on that thread someone posted:

OP again.

Also is it just for Pesach or all yomim tovim?

For the seder we put out the best (in my house that would be the silver which is easy to kasher) and there is an inyan.

However in regards to glasses, dishes etc, I would get the ones I love more to use on shabbos and the other yom tovim then to use it once a year.

I googled for you. From the Star K:
http://www.star-k.org/kashrus/kk-ThePesachSeder.htm

9. Set the Seder table with elegant dishes and arrange the chairs which will be used for leaning.28 Even though throughout the year one should minimize luxury as a zecher l�churban, on the Seder night it is appropriate to use the finest dishes available.29 Some people have a custom that the husband arranges the Keara.30 There were gedolim who insisted on personally setting the table for the Seder.31

Footnote 29 indicates the source as the Mishnah Berurah.

P.S. Several years ago, I won a set of very elegant flatware. I wanted to use it for Shabbos, but my dh said we should rather use it for Pesach. Oh, and I only have one set of China dishes, which, you guessed it, is used for Pesach.

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3377

It's all relative.

In Europe, most people could not afford separate Pesach utensils, and simply kashered their year-round utensils; which is halachically fine.
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There definitely is an inyan to use your nicest stuff for the Seder. Your question should actually be, is refraining from using them throughout the year due to zecher l'chorban outright halachah or not?

I can't pasken that for you, but I'm curious if you deliberately left an unpainted spot opposite or above your front door. That is a very common zecher l'chorbun.

Nicer and luxurious are relative terms. Compare today's standards to a century ago, and we're all living high end lifestyles. Perhaps a solution would be to get an even more elegant set for Pesach? (I once saw someone using glasses encased in a silver frame.)

Gold Member Joined: Jul 02 2010 Posts: 1416

I have always heard that it's davka best to save the nice stuff for Shabbas! OP, I'm with you, that I'd much rather enjoy my prettiest things every shabbas of the year than to only use 1x. Sure, it's special for seder, but it's also used so rarely that you hardly enjoy it!

Many people buy really nice paper goods for pesach seder(some of the disposables these days are washable and incredibly fancy! Honestly, I don't like that b/c they're so bad for the environment, but I "get it").

I hope this 'shalom bayis dilemma' is your biggest problem! FYI, when DH and I got married, we couldn't agree on a china pattern... Honestly, I never knew DH's were so interested in them! After much discussion, DH agreed to let me have my choice and I would let him have his way with some other matter (he wanted a dog). When we got a dog, I got my dishes Smile

Maybe there's something he really wants that you can compromise on that will allow your DH to "give in" to you on this matter?

Some more googling and I found a source to defend your position!:

http://hirhurim.blogspot.com/2009/07/zecher-lchurban.html

There are a number of other customs which are intended to remind us of the destruction of Jerusalem as well. Many authorities rule that we are never to set an elaborate table. [13] As such, some people intentionally leave a place setting vacant at their table. Others are careful to never display all of their fancy tableware and ornaments when hosting guests.[14] This custom does not apply to the Seder night however, where one is encouraged to indulge in extravagance. Some authorities say that this does not apply on Shabbat either.[15]

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3377

OP, I want to add: While there is definitely some kind of inyan to have nicer things for Pesach, there is also an inyan that a woman makes most of the decisions about household furnishings/utensils!

Can someone find a source for that for OP?

Wow, your DH is being this stubborn about you picking out glasses?

L'kavod shobbos, the glasses you showed us on the other thread were lovely. They were not so expensive that you couldn't justify buying them for every shobbos.

So for Pesach, he'll have to buy you the super fancy ones, that's all.