Tzedakah collector

Posted: Thu, Jun 07 2012, 11:05 pm Post subject: Tzedakah collector

So I just completed my last 12 hour shift in nursing school... to my own relief. While I did get permission from a Rav to wear pants for the job, and I understand and appreciate it's for my own safety because pants protect you better than a skirt. Esp because I am at a hospital that is not that amazing.

So today I came home and there was a man standing across from my home, and immediately I knew he was "stalking" our home for a parent to come home.

Even though I have permission to wear pants, I am embarassed to wear it. Usually I get home, run straight into the house and up the stairs and change right away. Because the scrubs are gross and who knows what is on them after caring for patients and being in the hospital.

So this man approached my car, I opened the door and said "please can you come back later." He looked at me blankly and kept approaching, so I said louder "please can you come back later I just got home."

He responded, "I do not speak english, but I have 16 children etc etc."

Now I am getting frustrated, because I have been up since 5:00 am this morning. So I say again, "Please come back later I am embarased." He said again, "I do not speak english."

I really tried, so I jumped out of the car and pointed at my pants and my stethoscope and said, "listen I am tired I just got home and now I am embarassed because I am in pants. Please go away."

He got pale and walked away.

Now I feel HORRIBLE, but I am exhausted Sad

He also kind of ruined my day, because I am done with nursing school and I graduated! *sigh*

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 18 2005 Posts: 3040

honestly, I drive away from collectors who approach my car.
I feel very vulnerable getting out of the car with a man lurking around.
some of these guys are really not good people and capable of doing very bad things.

I'm sorry he ruined your day ((hugs))

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 18 2005 Posts: 3040

and mazal tov on finishing nursing school!

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48223

You have a few issues here.

Yes, it's disgusting for a tzedekah collector to stalk someone, whether or not they are fully rested or not.

As far as what you're wearing, I am also allowed to wear exercise clothes in the gym, but wouldn't go home like that.

Posted: Fri, Jun 08 2012, 8:39 am Post subject: re: Tzedakah collector

First of all, mazel tov on completing nursing school!

Tzedakah collectors can be very intrusive and a few of them are not all there... If there was one waiting for someone to show up at my home it would spook me too. Considering what you said about the hospital, I'd also change clothes at home.
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Posted: Fri, Jun 08 2012, 8:45 am Post subject: re: Tzedakah collector

Mazal tov on graduating!!

Can you put a skirt over your scrubs before you leave the hospital?
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Posted: Fri, Jun 08 2012, 11:26 am Post subject: re: Tzedakah collector

As students we had to stay in Uniform from the moment we arrive to to moment we leave.

I could put a skirt over it, and I did that for a bit but after 12 hours I was exhausted and honestly did not think anyone would be stalking me when I came home. Plus then I would have to wash a skirt and the scrubs. Usually no one sees me.

B"H this was the last day, and after this I will have a locker at work so I can change before I come home! Plus be paid for the 12 hours of helping people back to a better health.

Posted: Thu, Nov 29 2012, 11:31 pm Post subject: re: Tzedakah collector

Fast forward... BH I found a job in a very difficult environment.

Unfortunately it pays not so great, and with taxes were I live the checks look even less Sad

Economy has hit my husband REALLY hard, with tenants not paying rent on time and items breaking left and right expenses are up and the finances to cover it are down.

My husband loves to give tzedaka, to the point that our account goes into negative and we do not have money to pay our own bills.

This month I finally got my first big paycheck, half went to paying tuition (we are 3 mons behind). part of it went to buy food and my husband deposited the rest to cover his account from going into the red. Like that it was gone!

This month we have had a lot of people coming to collect, and funds are tight. This one particular one kept coming to the house and nudging, my husband told him I am sorry we do not have money right now. He asked when can I come back, my husband said not for a while. He came back the next day, and got me this time. I said I am sorry we have no money, our accounts are in the negative. He looked at me and said is Mr. X home? I said no he's not, I am here and I am saying we have no money please go away. In the back of my mind I know that if my husband sees him that he will feel bad that he cannot give him money.

I kid you not he came back the next day, and I had had it by then. So he looks at me, and can tell I am frustrated and pointed up and said "Hashem Hashem, he will give you a bracha of money if you ask." So I looked at him and I said, "Please hashem give me the money, but it still does not change that I have no money right now." With that he walked away.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!

Posted: Fri, Nov 30 2012, 7:03 am Post subject: re: Tzedakah collector

I would have told him that if it is that simple, he has no reason to come collecting, he should just ask Hashem and not you....

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48223

Posted: Fri, Nov 30 2012, 6:06 pm Post subject: Re: re: Tzedakah collector