Name after a non-Jewish grandparent?

So I'm thinking we'll probably name our baby after my paternal grandfather. Thing is, he passed away relatively young (mid 50's) and I don't know so much about it. I really don't even know 100% if he was Jewish or not (that's Soviet Russia for you). Would this pose a real problem? Or do people name sometimes after non-Jewish family?

I want to find out more about him from my dad, but I don't want my inquiry to give away that we're thinking of using his name. What's a tactful way to ask about this part of my family history without totally giving away my motive and possibly getting my father's hopes up when we have not 100% settled on it as the name...?

TIA

edit- first sentence: ... I don't know much about him. (I only recall meeting him once when I was about 9 or so...)

Gold Member Joined: Nov 17 2010 Posts: 1080

I know a lot of people who are doing genealogical research. It's not inconceivable that you would be interested in this topic as well, since it's so fashionable. Wink

As for naming after a non-Jewish relative, I would not hesitate. In fact, we did just that, and asked our rabbi how best to translate the name.

We gave our son a middle name after DH's non-jewish father and possibly jewish grandfather.

Yosef (swedish name)

please ask a rav.

There is a lot of meaning in naming after someone. That's why we are careful to only name after good people. It's questionable about naming after someone who died young. Also - naming after a non jew could have a terrible effect on the neshama. You need to ask a rav about this.

OP here.
Thanks everyone.

So since for all I know he may have been Jewish, or may not have been... what's a good way to broach the subject with my dad? I kind of am at a loss for the exact words to use... He rarely talks about his father and I just don't know how best to bring it up, I guess. I could possibly ask my step-mother- she may know or I can ask her to ask him. Idk.

Why would naming after a non-Jew hurt the neshama? Is there a source for this?

As for naming for someone who died young - he died in his mid 50's from complications from diabetes. From what I understand, he refused to get his toe/foot amputated and died from the gangrene. I guess this was a bit selfish on his part? Maybe he was too proud to undergo an amputation? Should those possible middos concern me? It's a touchy subject...
We used dh's uncle's name as my ds's middle name, even though he died in his 40s from stomach cancer. And we never call him by his 2 names. We were told by our rav that although it's best not to name after someone who died young or tragically, it can be done if you add another name - apparently that changes it enough.

We're going to do visit my parents in about 2 weeks so maybe I'll just wait until we're all together, in person, to ask about my grandfather. I just know it would mean a lot to my dad to name after him. But still I'd rather find out more about him coming from a "curious about my genealogy" standpoint or the like than asking because of the whole naming thing...

Executive Member Joined: Jul 26 2011 Posts: 356

So about finding out more on your grandfather that would probably be a good idea and good luck trying not to give away the possible surprise.

About naming with a non jewish name you should probably ask your rav (maybe even before finding out about your grandfather) I've heard all different answers. My parents thought of naming my baby sister after a grandmother with a non jewish name, they went to a rav and he said not to use that name and that there is no point in davka using a jewish/hebrew name that sounds like it or has the same meaning as it because it isn't that name.

On the other hand my husbands second name is a hebrew boys name of the yiddish name for the english name for a great grandmother.

Point is, you might want to ask your rav his opinion on the matter in case he says "no" about using a non jewish name or variation before possibly getting your fathers hopes up.

[[OP]]

Thanks, Yearoldmother,
The name we're thinking is actually still a Jewish name. So that's not the issue. It was just whether we should name after someone who I'm not 100% sure of his heritage. I think I'll just try to get the guts to ask about my "family history", and hope that I won't give too much of my ulterior motive away. Either way, I think it would mean a lot to my dad if we used the name (my dad has only daughters, so he never got to use his father's name, except in a variation of a middle name for one of my sisters).

If the name you're using is a Jewish name, chances are you can find a plausible substitute when asked by certain people.

To your family, you're naming after Grandpa Moishe. To people who might give you grief about naming for someone who wasn't frum, you can tell them it's after Rebbe Moishe Soandso or Moshe Rabeinu...

Please be aware there is NO halacha regarding naming practices, it's ALL minhag.
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Executive Member Joined: Jul 26 2011 Posts: 356

We had/ have a similar problem. (with the whole asking questions without giving it away)

long story short: we're ashkenaz my parents sfardi. Rabbi said that there is no problem for us to name for the living (from my side) since its a big kavod and bracha for them. My DH isn't so comfortable with using one of my parents names as a first name. He's happy to name the name but feels that its disrespectful to actually USE it so we compromised on using it as a second name. For us it's more of a problem using my fathers name because he's called by it, my mother doesnt use her hebrew name but its not our favorite..

Anyways- I kinda had to ask my mother what her opinion on the matter was: whether it was a) respectful to use the name even as a middle name that chances are wont be used on a daily basis b) what's the point if the name isn't being used, just don't bother. Your ashkenaz anyways no one expects you to use it or c) disrespectful to name for someone if the name isnt being used.

The catch was that everyone knows that we know what we're having and we dont want to tell... so it was kinda a weird situation with my mother saying, we know its a boy we know its a boy and then so its a girl, right?

Executive Member Joined: May 22 2012 Posts: 474

Consider that Alexander became a Jewish name in honor of Alexander the Great who showed good will to the Jews. I don't think there is a problem naming after a non-jew, if he is a deserving person.

I would discuss it with a rav, but don't think translating the name in Hebrew or whatever is dangerous. You could also just use it as secular name. Or naming with someone else Jewish in mind. Or adding a name of someone frum.
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