Letting them talk after lights out?

My 4 yo and 2 yo sleep in the same room, and have for over a year now. We recently changed the configuration of the room because we moved my 2 yo out of his "little crib," and we cannot change the configuration back.

Suddenly now they want to talk to each other after they get into bed for the night. When we first moved the little bro in, his big brother knew that he needed to be completely quiet at night (the younger one wasn't talking back yet then), and all went well. Every once in a while I had to go in to ask him to stop singing to himself, say "it's bedtime now," and leave. But now they really want to talk to each other after bedtime. I want them to have their own "happy brother time" together, since I feel like they're at odds for a lot of the day and this bedtime time is really nice and cute and good bonding time! I hate being the policeman who has to go in and tell them to stop, especially as bedtime talking will hopefully make them closer as time goes on. Right?

But after so long of going through the bedtime routine and then immediately to bed, I think they're having a hard time finally going to sleep on their own after talking to each other. Out of the past three nights, one night they fell asleep fine on their own (the older one singing "sheket bevakashah" to the younger one and then lying down and going to sleep). The other two nights they needed me to step in. The first night they started screeching (happily) with each other -- not okay because we're in an apartment and at least one of our neighbors would definitely have been upset had we let it go on. This was almost an hour after bedtime. And tonight the older one called me complaining that he wanted a drink, even though he knows that the rule is no drinks after he's in bed (we've had issues with this a while ago, he knows the rule), and then almost threw a tantrum when I told him no, said that his little brother had been keeping him up even though he told him it was time to go to sleep. Which was not true, btw, since we have a monitor in there and I heard the whole conversation while I was cleaning up the kitchen, and he said nothing of the sort, and was happily talking the whole time until he decided he was thirsty. I was very firm and they were quiet from the minute I left the room.

So I was thinking about changing it so that they could talk for X amount of time after bedtime and then I'd come in and tell them it's quiet time now and time to go to sleep. What do you think? Any downside to this? Or should I just go back to the policeman method? I'm especially concerned about letting the talking continue for two additional reasons:
1) I tutor at night in a small apartment. If they talk quietly, I guess it doesn't matter, but if they get loud or end up staying up very late and then calling me...tutoring just won't work anymore. (I haven't been tutoring this week because girls are busy with finals, but it will probably be an issue over the summer, and definitely next year.)
2) I am expecting, and I know that eventually (maybe six months from now?) I will need to move the baby into their room. How will the baby sleep if they're shmoozing for an hour after bedtime? I have no idea when this baby's bedtime will be, before or after theirs, or whatever. But living in a two bedroom with three kids is cramped enough -- this just seems like it will make it more stressful. We hope to move into a larger place next summer, when the baby will be almost a year, but I still have to get through a whole year!

Any ideas? Advice?

Executive Member Joined: Nov 28 2010 Posts: 331

Can you start putting them to sleep separately?
When my boys go in together they talk and get very wild, so I started putting younger in earlier and he falls asleep right away, then I put older one in.

The younger one will stay up until the older one gets into the room, even if he has to wait up for an hour.

I'm not really worried about them not getting enough sleep, because they both do nap during the day. They are going to sleep later than most kids their age, but that hasn't been a problem up until now. Over the summer, their schedule will change, with the younger one dropping his morning nap in about a month when he starts camp (yes, he's been taking two naps up until now, and has been quite happy with it!), and the older one getting no more than half an hour nap and eventually dropping his nap (due to school timing) at the end of the summer. But by the end of July, we should be able to move their bedtimes earlier too, if necessary, because my dh's schedule is changing as well and he won't be getting home so late.

So in short...everything is in flux, and I'm scared that this change will make things more difficult for us. But I love the idea of them having takling time at night. I guess it could wait until they're older...but there are always power struggles during the day, and they have so much fun talking together at night!

Anyone? Advice please?