Something positive about chassidish women

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 3583

Nice, although I think the mikvah/spa comparison is a bit overdone.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 03 2011 Posts: 1503

A little too dramatic for me. And why is it necessary to have another article on our s-x lives? Can't we just try to stay out if the spotlight?
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Did she think it was necessary to be that rude and crude? Twisted Evil

"Stick our fingers in our private parts twice a day for seven days"!!!! Shocked

Why did she have to say that??? It's not true!!!! I only do that for three days!!! Rolling Laughter

Unbelievable. Rolling Eyes

OMGosh did you read the comments below the article...

People thought that tzitzis were those "sheets with the holes in them"

Rolling Laughter

Silver Member Joined: Nov 20 2007 Posts: 802

she totaly reminds me of opposite of debra feldman. she based all the jewish women according to her own lifestyle which is not nice and not true for all.

for example in regards to relations,,,,,no where in the torah states that we must be dressed or naked during relations. and totaly naked is forbiten. for example men not allowed to look at female private. so when you say totaly naked that includes staring at private part. oh oh oh!!!!!!

she excagerated too much at the opposite end of debra feldman.

I am happy that she she is happy with her love and marriage life and feels free, well apart from religion I do feel like in prison in my own home, so the article is speaking for her self only not for all of us.,

Gold Member Joined: Mar 23 2007 Posts: 1874 Location: NY

I'm no prude but I thought her article was crude. Hey I rhymed.
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Executive Member Joined: Nov 08 2011 Posts: 259

I am so very sorry and sad that you feel like a prisioner in your own home. My heart is breaking for you. And, unfortunately I do believe that you are probably not alone in feeling this way.

I worry that my children's and grandchildren's generations will have more and more feeling the way you do.... especially as many of them enter the work force, are put in positions where they must support a growing family and thus have jobs that put them in board rooms and leadership positions... only to go home and feel suffocated by how the frum society they live in views or treats its women.

Let's be honest, this article makes it all seem so easy and it just isn't. For some in the frum world, wearing pants and going to a disco is a no brainer. They can easily do it and they still keep Shabbos, TH, Kosher, etc. But, for many other women in the frum world wearing pants and going to a disco is just too difficult to even try. It would mean leaving everything they know behind, being excommunicated from everyone and everything they have, and it would leave many women without financial support and unable to support themselves adequately. Not all frum women have the education and skills necessary to bring home a decent paycheck. Plus, what about the kids???? How many frum women could try wearing pants, going to a disco and not think her marriage would end and she would be fighting for custody with the entire frum world she knows bashing her as unstable???? Not all sects of yiddishkeit view and treat women the same. Not all parts of the frum world give a woman the same access to the world.

Many young girls make life decisions when they are 18, 19 ,20... and they do so with whatever they were taught in school... only to wake up 10 years later with a more mature and self developed world view. Not all of them can easily adapt. Some want to become more to the right and have husbands who won't... and the opposite... some want to become less yeshivish or chassidish and it just isn't an option.

I am happy the author is happy. Happy I am BH happy. But, that doesn't mean I don't acknowledge the many who aren't happy and who have no easy way to fix their situation. I cry for them and wish we as a society could admit that we have a problem ... it isn't going to go away. We will be forced to deal with it one day... just look at Susan B Anthony and American society or Sara Schnerier and girls learning... we as a community are still evolving in this issue and it can't remain in the shadows forever.

am I the only one that thought this article was pretty awesome. think of the type of pple that read it. see the comments below. obviously, she did a pretty good job putting it on paper. we, who live this may feel she overdid it. but based on the comments she did a good job on the pple that dont live this life.

Silver Member Joined: Nov 20 2007 Posts: 802

Silver Member Joined: Nov 20 2007 Posts: 802

Gold Member Joined: Nov 26 2006 Posts: 2306 Location: NY

Gold Member Joined: Mar 23 2007 Posts: 1874 Location: NY

She's a BT, I think? So she's going out of her way, in the mixed company that is the internet, to prove that she's still "normal." I do it too to a certain extent when with my non frum family and friends but I don't do it in a crass way and I'm not printing it for millions to read.

Gold Member Joined: May 09 2010 Posts: 2101

It was nice, for once, to read something in the public sphere that was written by a Jewish woman who feels positively about her life. After all the Deborah Feldman stuff, and everything I see/hear about how oppressed we all are, I don't really have a problem with this article. Did she make some sweeping generalizations? Yes. But so did DF, and people have been taking her experiences as universal gospel. I'd rather that the overstatements be positive rather than negative, in general.
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I didn't mind the article, but I don't like that she calls herself chassidish. To me Lubavitch (although a sect of Chassidus) is NOT AT ALL like the other sects. It's completely different and I don't know why she thinks she can compare the two. If she grew up Satmer she would probably not have gone to the same college and would not be working in the field she's in. A little out of touch with chassidus if you ask me.
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