Wwyd 2 boys in the class with same birthday (Bar Mitzvah)

my son has a kid in his class with the same birthday as him
what did you do if you had this problem?

What is the rule in your yeshiva regarding boys going to classmates bar mitzvahs? The whole class goes?
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Silver Member Joined: Jul 26 2006 Posts: 576

they should each choose 2-3 friends that they would like to have at their bar mitzvah, and then split the rest of the class, a-m and m-z. I'll have the same "problem" in a few years...(although it will be in the beginning of the summer, and the kids may be in camp by then!)

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3024

Would it be so terrible to push the bar mitzvah off by a week? There's no law that says you have to mark the bar mitzvah on the exact day. My husband's birthday is during the earlier part of sefira, so his bar mitzvah was pushed off by 2 weeks so that they could have music/dancing at the party.

Silver Member Joined: Sep 07 2008 Posts: 901

There were two boys when I was younger that had the same birthday, and they both did a shabbos bar mitzvah in two different venues. One invited the class Friday night and the other shabbos day.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 27 2010 Posts: 1436

Is this just for kiddush or for a meal type event? If its just kiddush then everyone can go to both. This happened in my community this year. A whole bunch of boys are born around the same time and everyone went to everyones kiddush each week (this lasted for maybe 3-4 shabboses).

If it is more of a formal meal then I think you should put it off.

We did have this situation, and we had 13 years notice -- the other boy's parents were friends of ours. We delayed our son's Bar Mitzvah by 1 week so people wouldn't have to choose.
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Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5778

Can you make a small family only seudah just on the night of his birthday but push off the main event by a week so there is no choices?
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Gold Member Joined: Jul 14 2009 Posts: 2094

can they share a party or is that not as exciting as having your own?

Executive Member Joined: Feb 23 2011 Posts: 414

We has this situation. My DS's best friend was born the same day as he (in fact we even shared the Shalom Zachar). They did their seuda the evening before the birthday (Ohr Leyom...) and we did ours the next night. The Shabbos Kiddush was more of an issue (We daven in the same shul). In the end, they did theirs at a different time becuase the boy's father had yahrzeit that Shabbos and went to EY for the yahrzeit.

Silver Member Joined: Jun 21 2010 Posts: 821

My brother had this, we daven in the same shul as the other family so we knew from the time the boys were born that it was going to be an issue. There was no possibility of pushing anything off for vaious reasons so the boys shared the leining/davening and shared the kiddush. For the party, one family did the party on the bo bayom and one made the party on Sunday (the day after the Shabbos). It was a real lesson for my brother in how adults can work things out together.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3024

Beginner Joined: Feb 01 2012 Posts: 24

This is pretty common in my son's school because it is very large. For the kiddush boys just go to more than one and eat kugel twice - they dont seem to mind Smile

. Parents try to plan so they do the seudas at different times (not an option if you are only doing shabbos but usually at least one of the families will make a sunday or weeknight meal). Yes, the friends will have to pick which leining to go to if the boys are in different shuls. BTW, I remember having a book growing up called "the mystery of the missing bar mitzvah gift" by Eliezer Gevirtz that was about this.

Senior Member Joined: Oct 16 2011 Posts: 229

I had this by my ds. But in my son's cheder you can only invite half the class. So that night the entire class went, half to my ds, the other half to the other boy.