Potty training need urgent advice

Senior Member Joined: Nov 29 2010 Posts: 164

potty training need urgent advice

so I finally got my almost 3 year old to sit on the potty and use it too.

but the problem is that he keeps pieing in his underpants! I ask him every few miutes if he needs to pee and he is very excited about it

but maybe he just really does not know when he needs to go?

I only get him to pee inside the potty if he is already sitting there for an hour

I'm very frustrated because he is starting to feel unsuccessful and resistant!

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I don't know what conventional wisdom says about potty training and I obviously don't know your kid. This is what's working for me:

I introduced the concept of the potty at a very young age. I did not start training the first time she sat on a the toilet and peed on it. After Pesach (just after her birthday) I started getting particular about her sitting on the toilet before the bath, and the then the bath + first thing in the morning, and then bath + first thing in the morning + before going outside to play in the afternoon. And now I ask her every hour or so.

She's my kid, and so I know that I can generally trust that if she tells me 'no' she really means that she doesn't have to go because she understands the entire process. I also know that she doesn't need to go more than every two hours or so which means that I'm not driving her crazy every five minutes. You don't want your kid to feel that they're being pulled away from all the action constantly.

Last week Wednesday was the first time we got her to sit on Morah's toilet (forget doing anything
on it), but by Friday she sat on the toilet when I wasn't there and peed.

Today, she was dry the entire day, except right after waking up from her Shabbos nap (if the baby hadn't woken up 6 minutes before her and needed a diaper and bottle change herself, I would have gotten DD #1 to the toilet in time). She peed before she went to bed tonight and woke herself up two hours later so I could take her to the bathroom so that she could make number two -- on her own!

As far as accidents go: depending on where we are, I alternate between putting panties on over her Pull-Ups (Pampers brand) or inside of them. This way, she's excited that she's on her way to being a big girl but it doesn't make a mess if we don't get to a bathroom and putting the panties inside means that she feels when she gets wet right away without needing a wardrobe change (vs putting her in panties alone and having puddles all over the house).

I would definitely suggest paying attention to how often your son pees so that you know if it's necessary to ask him every few minutes. I would suggest that you try to make it fun and exciting and let him know that accidents happen (we sing the 'everyone makes mistakes' song from Sesame Street) vs a tremendous amount of pressure.

Also -- and I say this because I have two neighbors on the block toilet training now, too -- make sure you are consistent; if you intend to do a crash course type of training, you cannot be a lazy about it -- you have to stay on top of it (and all that needs to mean is 'Do you need to go to the bathroom' 'No' 'You're sure?' 'Yes!' and done until the next time you ask.). One of my neighbors who was training this weekend was asking her son every five minutes, but half the times she asked, she wasn't even looking at him. If you're somehow giving your son the impression that it isn't so important to you, how can you expect it to be important to him?

Silver Member Joined: Apr 26 2010 Posts: 983 Location: NJ

I would say he might not be ready. Maybe leave him in diapers or pull ups and take him whenever he says he needs to go (you can ask also but don't drive yourself crazy). I found that the 'cool sensation'(or whatever they call it) pull-ups were very helpful.
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