Do you often wonder whether you are a good person?

sometimes I question whether I am a good person or not it's really weird. maybe it is because of things in my life like illnesses I have. I just feel kind of like, I'm a lot lower than other people. I feel like I have a lot of self development needed in my lifetime and maybe even that won't be enough. does anyone else have this?

Everyone is placed on this earth to grow. Some people suffer more than others, not necessarily are they bad people, they are suffering for klal yisrael.
We are all created with a tzelem Elokim, therefore, we are all basically given the choice to choose to be good and do good, that is what free will is all about. We are advised to choose life, and choose to do good.

I know people who are suffering tremendously with all kinds of nisyonos, yet they are always smiling and saying Baruch Hashem. Then I know people that seem to have it pretty much their way most of the time, yet they are always kvetching and miserable about one petty thing or another.

I prefer to learn from the former, and try to have a good attitude, and look around me and strive to appreciate all the good things I have, not focus on the bad things. Deal with the bad as best as you can, and move on, don't dwell on them.

Having illnesses or other bad things in your life do not make you a bad person.

I think of this often. sometimes I do something and I feel like I am in general a good person, and even thought I know I have things I need to work on, at that point I dont think of its so negatively. OTOH, when I do/did something I know I shouldn't have I get the feeling that im a bad person and then my negative traits stand out so much more to me.
DH always tells me when I get in that mode that I have to look at the good things I do and remember that I do have and do good things. its hard to, though.

I can relate somewhat first of all I am around so many wonderful people in my life even my dh and when I see how selfless pple can be I always ask myself could I do the same? probably not
I also have some medical challenges but that would not stop me from being a good person sometimes maybe I should do more or try to go out of my way more.

Thanx for the idea! Thumbs Up

to me it sounds like you are a very good person from your question

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

in general, the more a person works on themselves, the higher are their expectations and therefore the lower opinion they have of themselves. "bad" people think that their problems in life are always someone else's fault.

But it's also a mistake to blame yourself too much - illness is G-d-given, however it's usually a nisayon, to test how you deal with it, not a punishment.
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The results of our actions are not up to us or even necessarily a direct consequence of them. The only thing that's really in our power is our perspective, that everything that happens is for the (our) good.

I don't wonder if I'm a good person, I wonder if I'm a good jew. I feel like is being a good person and doing the mitzvos enough because I know that I do a lot of aveirus, too.

I often think I'm way worse than everyone else, because although I know right from wrong, I seem to fail more than I succeed at things. And there are basic things, like davening, that I just can't seem to do properly at all. My DH says failing and carrying on trying is what life is about, but he can talk, because he's the most selfless, kind-hearting person in the world (bli ayin hara).

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3392

OP, do you mean that people around you think you're a good person, or that Hashem is judging you as a good person?

I think this varies literally minute by minute. One minute I can feel great because I'm doing something wonderful, and the next moment I can lounge on the couch lazily feeling badly that an opportunity to do good is passing me by because I'm too lazy to stand up!
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oh. I question myeslf about that all the time.

I had a really hard childhood and as a kid I would wonder if I was normal and not down sydrome cuz I had a unibrow... lol. now that I'm B"H married and as happy as can be its kinda funny to me that I ever thought that I'm not normal...

I'm like that very often. On some days I can feel like I'm doing pretty ok, but then I start thinking and come to the conclusion that I'm a totally rotten person deep down. Confused

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Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

I think we all have to remember that your judgments depends on your yardstick - if you're basically keeping kosher, shabbos, etc. that already puts you at a relatively high level. sometimes we get so hung up on the minutiae that we haven't yet mastered and our achievements get lost in the shuffle.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48223

by whose yardstick?

Executive Member Joined: Sep 28 2010 Posts: 344

Yes I often wonder this. But sometimes it is a productive question I am asking myself, doing cheshbon hanefesh, and sometimes it is the yetzer hara getting me, dragging me down to the pit of depression and self-hate.

I've been going to an amazing derech Hashem class! (Rabbi Hassan) I think some of what we learned last week is relevant to your question.

The point of this world is to choose between good and bad. Hashem has deliberately placed us in a situation of struggle - war, actually - between our yetzer tov and yetzer hara. So struggling is what this life is all about. Struggling with our thoughts, with our actions. In all situations - illness/health, wealth/poverty, wonderful relationships/loneliness etc etc. Of course we need self-development! That's our purpose here! And we're measured on progress - how much we have changed (michtav me'eliyahu, I think) - not on absolute actions.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

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