Tznius clothing on children - when do you start?

When do you start dressing your children up to your standards of tznius? I have a 2 year old girl and a 4 year old boy and I've started with neither yet. I wouldn't put a tank top on my son just because I dont like the look not necessarily tznius reasons...

My daughter I think I'll start when she's about 4 but not fully- just no pants etc. She'll still wear over the knee skirts and short sleeves etc.

My son- no shorts will probably be around 6 or 7.

Remember everyone's standards are different- I'm just asking when will you start enforcing YOUR standards of tznius?

It is a process, I expect my daughters to be dressed fully Tznius by around 8. I of course work with the child and don't have a blanket rule.

My sons go dressed as the other boys in the community. They stop wearing shorts at around 9-10 but this is not a tznius issue rather dressing like our community.

I only have one 18 month old daughter... I feel like when I send her to 'real school' ill start slowly with tznius. first no more pants.
then as she gets older longer sleeves, longer skirts..then eventually higher socks..
I dont want to enforce anything when she's young...

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18289

I have no rules for my baby. By 2, I like a bit more than the shoulder to be covered. By 3, skirts. Long sleeves officially at around 4-5, but it really depends on the minhag hamakom if we start earlier. Knee socks around 5, but apparently the minhag here is to do it for chinuch, and we don't really get concerned about a gap between the knee sock and skirt. I don't like that in theory, so I wonder how it will play out when my daughters get older.

My boys never wore tank tops or muscle tees. Shorts stop at around second grade by school rules I think, but not sure about summer time. My son will be going into second this year and he's still unsure if he'll wear shorts. I'm letting him decide based on what he feels comfortable with, if his friends do or not (I assume they will, but he doesn't trust me Wink

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Platinum Member Joined: Mar 24 2008 Posts: 6528

My daughter is 2 1/2. I just asked - not sure if I have the details straight.
I was told according to the shulchun orach a girl has to dress tzinius by 3. According to the chazon ish at 3 they only can't wear sleeveless and pants. We (my family) goes according to the chazon ish.
For this summer (at 2 1/2) I'm not doing fully sleevless, but I'm doing barely there flutter sleeves.
Maybe around 5 we start with covering elbows and knees - but I'm not exactly sure.

For my boys I never put on sleevless because I don't like the look.
No shorts we start in second grade, but that is because it is the school rule. So that is around 8 years old.

It's not such a big thing with my boys, but I plan on tznius clothes for my daughter at age 3. Most of the girls in my 3 year-old son's gan wear skirts and tights every day.

This is my thinking... but I don't want my daughter to get used to wearing shorts, sleeveless shirts...etc and then take it away from her. I think it's better to start out how you want to end up.
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Platinum Member Joined: Dec 27 2007 Posts: 7241

never option?

In my world this is something that is a process for the child. Right now my daughter is almost 4 (two more weeks) and she still wears pants and almost sleeveless - just over the shoulder - but she also loves wearing skirts too. I will not force her to wear anything until she is in school, meaning first grade, and then she will obviously have to adhere to the dress code of the school but once she is home, I will let her decide how she will want to dress.
I know that for many of you that is not something that sits well with you, but that is how my parents did it and that is how I plan to do it as well. I grew up wearing pants until I was about 10 when non of my friends wore pants so I started wearing skirts only. But my parents never told me that I could not wear pants. It will be something that will be up to the child, as long as everything that needs to be covered is covered.

My daughter just turned 3. She only wears skirts now, but she still wears short socks and short-sleeve t-shirts in the summer. I'm also not very particular yet about putting away skirts that are starting to get short on her (almost above the knee.) When she gets a little older, we'll be stricter about skirt lengths, knee socks and covering the elbows. Usually whichever school you send to has its particular guidelines to follow by a certain age.

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18289

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18289

My DD is 5 and finishing up kindergarten. This is the first year that she wore long sleeves, skirts over her knees and knee socks as that is the school rule. On shabbos and other days off I let her wear short socks. She loves to for comfort reasons so not gonna make a deal of it yet, maybe by the time she turns 9 or so. In the summer I might still let her wear short sleeves if she asks to because of comfort.

My husband and I try to make yiddishkeit as sweet as possible to our children. I just don't feel like pushing the envelope with this yet, if any of it bothers my DD.
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Gold Member Joined: Jul 07 2009 Posts: 1720

my daughter is just 4
she wears long sleeves and only skirts. I'm not makpid on her covering her knees though I do try to replace shorter skirts w/ a longer one when I can.
she still wears short socks.
on my block (the frummest in RBS from what I hear) the girls wear tights.
the girls in her gan are still wearing socks therefore I'm not pushing the tights thing. I have my own issues w/ little kids wearing tights in the boiling heat.
when she gets to first grade she'll have to wear tights until then I'm going to let her wear socks

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3066

My oldest is only six, but it seems to me that she slowly want to be more tzanua, and all I have to do is have the clothes there for her.

After raising 5 charedi kids who were tznius by age 3, I am now faced with a 4 year old in a DL gan, where some of the girls are still in pants. I caught myself seeking to buy her 3/4 length tops the other day, and then asked myself, does she really have to cover to the elbow at 4 yo? I know charedim who don't force the issue of longer sleeves until age 6 or 7.

The issues that come up for me are chinuch, habit and halacha. And at this point, I'm still not clear.

Silver Member Joined: Jul 07 2009 Posts: 932

My 6 year old girl wears skirts and leggings about knee length to school. At home it varies, soft sweat pants and wide legged pants sometimes or a soft skirt with leggings. Most shirts are short sleeved for the warmer weather. No capped sleeves for school. but I bought a few for the hot days during summer.

My main focus is to find comfortable and respectable clothing. No hip hugger jeans, or short shorts. I cant believe the lack of fabric on girls clothing! But I found great knee length shorts for the summer at Kmart. I think Im going to start incooperating more skirts when she is a little older. 7,8 or 9? Basically when it feels like the right time.
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Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4546 Location: Ohio

We do skirts at three and long sleeves at six.

They will have to wear knee socks starting this fall at school, but we don't hold that way outside of school.

My DH still wears shorts (long shorts), so our son will go by the school dress code when he is in school, but we will allow shorts.
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