What questions do teen girls have about Judaism?

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3376

I was asked to lead a Q&A session for teen girls here at this Pesach hotel.

Obviously, I don't know what the girls will ask me in advance, but I want to prepare a few thoughts ahead of time so that I can get the discussion rolling.

What kinds of questions do frum (assorted backgrounds!) girls have about Judaism?

TIA!
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Executive Member Joined: Dec 19 2011 Posts: 277

Frum with assorted backgrounds is a wide spectrum! Some frum kids have a lot of unanswered questions!
I used to be an ncsy advisor.... Some of the questions the yeshiva kids would ask are...

Why is religion so nit picky?
Why are women second class citizens?
And I am totally blanking but I will try to remember more if I can!

You could get the ball rolling by asking something like. "do you think being religious makes a person happier?" "does Hashem love a person who keeps His mitzvos more?". Those kinds of questions tent to bring out the ones that are really bothering them....

Good luck this is no easy task!!!!
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Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3376

Thanks, that is a really good start!

Gold Member Joined: Mar 18 2009 Posts: 1502

why are boys off limits?
why are my parents so restrictive?
how do I know Hashem is real?

Silver Member Joined: Nov 15 2010 Posts: 605

Why do I have to dress tsnius? Why does Hashem care what I wear?

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 24 2010 Posts: 3399

Some of the most common questions I had as a teenager, and other teens have expressed as well. The topic of shomer negiah is a big one. That alone can be a long lasting discussion. Other topics - Why do bad things happen to good people? Why are girls (seemingly) inferior to boys in the religious world? They may also want some clarity regarding the many bubba misas circling the Jewish world. Good Luck, and have fun!

Can I be a religious woman and not have 14 kids?
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Executive Member Joined: Dec 19 2011 Posts: 277

How did it go?!

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3074

I really this is after the fact, but,

There is a site called frumteems.com where many teens ask questions. Personally, I think the site is horrible, due to the iron-fisted moderator who only allows his extreme absolutist views to be represented as "correct". But it the site does give some sort of indication as to what issues interest today's frum teens.

Saw this too late... definitely the Shoah, why bad things happen to good people or terrible things to regular people, etc.
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Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

So, T&P, what DID they ask you?!

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3376

There were 2 main questions that came up:

"Why can boys get away with much more than girls? They can drink at the hotel, but if we use wine for kiddush, the director freaks out. A boy can go OTD for years, then go to yeshiva with a black hat and be fine, while a girl who goes OTD and returns always has a bad reputation?"

"Why do rabbis have the power to make more laws beyond the Torah?"

For the first question, I explained that this is not a frum or even Jewish issue. One example: A guy who is with a different girl every night is considered a 'player' on a college campus, while a girl who does the same is considered a 'sl*t'.

Prince Charles was with many women, but when he got engaged to Diana - she had to be a virgin. And that was considered normal.

Socially and practically- if a boy and girl spend the night together without protection - who is the one who will get pregnant? This is where it stems from, that girls are seen as ''more pure'' and they ought not be as 'sullied' as boys. "Sugar and spice and all that's nice." While boys are "puppy dog tails..."

The other question had 2 parts.

One part was about Derabanan rules that Chazal instituted years ago. The other part was about the principal of a school saying "anyone who texts will go to h*ll", so I addressed both of those.

Then DH came and told them that we'd done a lot of volunteering for the boys division of Camp Extreme, and a few of the girls had attended the girls program, so we started discussing that.

You didnt tell them in Judaism boys cannot get away with more than girls? Frankly it's one thing I love about us.