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| Motek |
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 Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 8:45 pm Post subject: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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| Quote: | Book Description
Dispelling our most cherished myths about working mothers, Suzanne Venker argues that woman can’t be successful in the workplace and at home simultaneously. They can achieve the balance they so desperately seek only by planning their careers around motherhood, rather than planning motherhood around their careers.
Ms. Venker fearlessly tackles the most contentious issues of working motherhood: women’s equality, family economics, the notion of "quality time," women’s guilt and stress, and daycare. In each chapter, she exposes a different myth about working mothers, drawing on extensive research and her own experience as a mother and a teacher. The result is a powerful case for the link between the problems of today’s children and the absence of mothers from the home.
"If motherhood were viewed as the full-time job it is," Ms. Venker contends, "it would not be considered something we could do on the side, and women would be less inclined to try to balance career and motherhood, only to discover, many stress-filled years later, that it cannot be done." |
| Quote: | | The thesis of this book is simple: women can have it all, but not necessarily at the same time. That is, a woman can choose to excel at motherhood, or she can choose to excel at a career, but she cannot do both simultaneously. |
| Quote: | | Indeed, the term "working mother" in this regard is misleading. If a mother chooses a full-time paid career, she is basically leaving the job of mothering to someone else. She is paying someone else to mother her children. |
| Quote: | | The basic premise is that raising children is a full-time job ... therefore, being successful in the workplace and at home simultaneously is impossible. This is not anti-feminist nor is it a matter of one's politics. It's just a fact. |
http://www.amazon.com/Myths-Working-Mothers-Children-Careers/dp/1890626538
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| chocolate moose |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Hm. I don't like that so well.
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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That's really interesting.
There obviously (in my mind at least, lol) exists a difference between a woman who works because she has to and a woman who works because she davka wants to.
Food for thought. Will check out the link soon iyh.
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| Tefila |
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Location: Galus, what can I tell u..............
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:11 pm Post subject: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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| Quote: | | The basic premise is that raising children is a full-time job ... therefore, being successful in the workplace and at home simultaneously is impossible. This is not anti-feminist nor is it a matter of one's politics. It's just a fact. |
Makes sense 
Same theory I guess would go for successful business people, they are not always successful on the homefront etc. It's an eigther or situation 
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| redhot |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:16 pm Post subject: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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I agree with the idea that full time work makes it difficult to be a full time mom.
BUT there are some amazing and lucrative jobs/fields out there for women to make great money by working PART time.
This book just cements in my mind how important it is for women to be trained/educated so that they CAN get a GOOD job that would make terrific money by working part time! women are being forced to work full time to support their families (due to lack of education) and are sacrificing precious time that they should/could be spending raising their children.
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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| What jobs are you referring to that pay so well for part time?
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| chocolate moose |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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| It also depends on the age of your kids.
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not sure how true that is.
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| chocolate moose |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I think this forum should only be open to working moms.
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Why?
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| redhot |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Crayon210 wrote: | | What jobs are you referring to that pay so well for part time? |
I was referring to o.t's, p.t's, and speech therapists. But I bet there are other well paying part time jobs out there as well.
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| That's what I thought.
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| Motek |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:16 pm Post subject: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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The author writes:
| Quote: | | "Obviously there are some mothers, particularly single mothers or women whose husbands are struggling financially, who must go to work to put food on the table... but these women have very little to do with the current debate about working mothers. |
| Quote: | | Those who care for other people's children on a full-time basis are not "watching" or "baby-sitting" children, as working women like to claim. These caregivers are raising other women's children. To suggest otherwise implies that all full-time mothers do all day is babysit their own children. As if all there is to motherhood is making sure our children are fed and safe. |
| Quote: | "Stay-at-home" mother suggests that a woman stays home all day while her children play at her feet. In reality, she is a woman who works at home, where she performs the awesome task of raising decent, healthy, confident human beings.
... we have no term for the mother who falls somewhere in between [full-time working mother and stay-at-home mother]. Just because a mother doesn't pursue a full-fledged career - complete with time clock, commute, and nearby day care facility - doesn't mean she's out of the job market. Many mothers today work part-time or they have tremendous flexibility in their work. The common thread is that they work around their children's needs and schedules and use a minimal amount of day care, if any. |
| Quote: | | ... accepting motherhood as a full-time job does not mean women must be completely out of the workforce for 18 years [for frum mothers it's much longer!-motek]. It just means that for 18 years they will have to be creative in fitting other work around their primary obligation to their children. |
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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I like her way of thinking. 
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| mumsy23 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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| sthillmom wrote: | | Crayon210 wrote: | | What jobs are you referring to that pay so well for part time? |
I was referring to o.t's, p.t's, and speech therapists. But I bet there are other well paying part time jobs out there as well. |  Great comment. That is why the whole college debate is so mind boggling to me! Hello out there! You're telling us that we can't have it both ways, well neither can you, you can't expect to 'save yourselves from the terrible evils of college', have money to feed your kids and be a full-time mom!!
I find it very interesting that the same women who preach about being a SAHM are also the same ones that vehemently argue against college! (And yes, college doesn't guarantee a parnassa, but PT, OT, and SLP college usually (read 99%) does!)
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| Crayon210 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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| I think your comment is a little rude. There are alternatives in life besides college, believe it or not.
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| healthymama |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:36 pm Post subject: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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| Quote: | | That is, a woman can choose to excel at motherhood, or she can choose to excel at a career, but she cannot do both simultaneously. |
So what ? Even if she can't excel, she can still be good enough. What difference does it make in the long run ?
Look around yourself at your friends and acquaintances. Can you tell with any statistical accuracy which ones had a stay at home mom just by the quality of life they have now ?
People make up things to worry about. You want to worry about parenthood today, worry about the druggie moms or the orphans in third world countries or the child soldiers in South America. I'm not going to lose any sleep over healthy and well-adjusted children of American moms who choose to work. Good grief.
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| Tefila |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:37 pm Post subject: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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| Quote: | | I find it very interesting that the same women who preach about being a SAHM are also the same ones that vehemently argue against college! (And yes, college doesn't guarantee a parnassa, but PT, OT, and SLP college usually (read 99%) does!) |
Don't you think that is a)a huge generalization and b) perhaps there may be truth to what they say 
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| mumsy23 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:41 pm Post subject: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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Why am I rude? Because I have an opinion that is different from yours? and what are these other alternatives? Please, I would really like to know. I would rather take "another alternative", then waste my time in grad school so that I can one day work completely around my children's schedules and not have to leave them with someone else to raise them.
Right now, it seems to me that people just keep saying "oh, don't worry, there are other alternatives", when in reality, these wives are stuck working boring 9-5 desk jobs, and then have to come home and take care of a house and after which they are so exhausted they can barelyenjoy their children. So PLEASE if you have a magic solution, why don't you share it, I know there are PLENTY of people on imamother that could benefit from another alternative.
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| mumsy23 |
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| Posted: Sun, Dec 03 2006, 11:44 pm Post subject: Re: re: "7 Myths of Working Mothers" |
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| healthymama wrote: | | Quote: | | That is, a woman can choose to excel at motherhood, or she can choose to excel at a career, but she cannot do both simultaneously. |
So what ? Even if she can't excel, she can still be good enough. What difference does it make in the long run ?
Look around yourself at your friends and acquaintances. Can you tell with any statistical accuracy which ones had a stay at home mom just by the quality of life they have now ?
People make up things to worry about. You want to worry about parenthood today, worry about the druggie moms or the orphans in third world countries or the child soldiers in South America. I'm not going to lose any sleep over healthy and well-adjusted children of American moms who choose to work. Good grief. |
Although I do feel that staying at home with your children is the ideal solution, I find this comment interesting. Because although my gut tells me I should be the one "raising" my children, I have seen countless children being raised by nannies while their mothers worked and fathers learned and those children turned out to be nice, well-adjusted frum people who went on to have the same life-style as their parents. so, who knows?
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