How would you react...

Posted: Sun, Mar 11 2012, 12:42 pm Post subject: How would you react...

We invited someone close to us for last days of pesach. they are in the process of a move and don't know where they would be. We thought ti might be nice to have one less yt to think about. They asked if they could get back to us in 2 weeks. They were looking for other options. 3 weeks later we called them and asked if they wanted to come or not. they said they were weighing all the options and they still don't know.

By the way they are making it to us we are their place of last resort... we don't want to eb that and I want to uninvited them at this point because honestly I invited them for the company not for a "last resort" they now asked to give them a few more days to decide. if we won't have them as guest we will prob go away ourselves.

I invited them because I wanted to see them and thought it might be nice for them to go away for a change (they always host guest) but to keep telling up they are "looking into options" really hurts me. Now they said they will tell us by the end of the day I honestly want to call and say please don't com I am so upset.am I over reacting?

Posted: Sun, Mar 11 2012, 2:35 pm Post subject:

Don't call them your are basically begging by calling them so often

Senior Member Joined: Jul 09 2006 Posts: 207

Tell them u need to make plans of your own so u need to know w in three day and if u dont hear from then u will assume they r going elsewhere and u can do wat y like. I agree id b insulted if I graciously invoted s o for pesach and they made me feel like I was the worst option...

Gold Member Joined: Aug 12 2009 Posts: 1732

It depends on the relationship you have with those people but I would also be insulted if I felt as if I was the last resort. Even if they feel that way (which sounds strange if you're close) it was rude of them to tell you they are checking out other options first.

Could they be considering going to someone's house for the whole of Pesach? Parents for example, and they are waiting to see if that is going to work out before comitting to coming to yours?

You've given them two deadlines for letting you know and they have not so I would call them or send them a message saying "it looks as if things are not going to work out for that meal. Maybe when things have settled from your move we can arrange something else, we'd love to have you over." That way you've clarified that the meal is off and you won't have them turn up at the last minute but at the same time you've left them with the message that you'd still like to see them. There could well be something going on with them that you don't know about so keep the communication friendly and don't let on that you're insulted.

Posted: Tue, Mar 13 2012, 1:27 pm Post subject: re: How would you react...

It sounds to me like they feel badly for putting you out for Pesach, and think they 'should' look for another place.
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black sheep wrote: Trauma doesn't ruin lives; never recovering from trauma ruins lives.

Posted: Sat, Mar 17 2012, 4:31 pm Post subject: re: How would you react...

in all honesty that is rude. you shouldn't say to someone who invites you to something, "we are thinking about it", it sounds very wrong and inpolite, let alone to say you are my last resort. it's basically saying we don't really like you that much, or we want to come to you the least. how much more insensitive can you get than that.

they should have said "thank you so much for your kind invitation", and told you asap yes or no, and if no phrased it politely with their excuse, with their gratefulness to you.

what's up with people's manners these days