Kashrus standards and MM

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3017

If you live in a hashkafically homogenous area, this probably isn't an issue for you. I live in KGH, which is a very mixed neighborhood- we pretty much run the entire gamut of Orthodoxy (with the exception of chassidish I think). What do you do about MM- do you go by your own standards or do you cater to the strictest set that you plan to send to? For instance, we don't keep chalav Yisrael, but we do keep kemach yashan. I know some families on my block keep CY, I know others who keep none of the above. A few years ago, I unthinkingly put Hershey's candy in my MM packages and later realized that the CY people probably threw it out and had to tell their kids they couldn't have that candy. Now I'm careful to only give CY candy. Yashan, admittedly, is not an issue at this time of year, so I eat any home-baked goods I receive without a second thought. But a friend recently said she wasn't going to bother baking anything because who knows if everyone thinks her standards are up to snuff- better to be safe and just buy a package that states all the chumras and everyone is happy. I think it's sad that it's come down to this, but I see her point and since I haven't done any baking yet, I'm starting to rethink things. What do Imamothers do? Do you try to account for chumras that others keep? Do you make sure everything is packaged so each recipient can decide for themselves? Do you just do things according to your standards, and if someone doesn't want to eat your homemade hamentaschen, that's their loss? Those of you who keep CY, what do you do when you receive CS candy or food that you're not sure about? How do you explain to your kids that they can't have it without impugning the kashrus of the people who sent you the food in question?

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3372

Someone once told me:

We say: "A freilichen Purim" and a "Chag kosher v'somayach" on Pesach. It should really be the opposite!

On Purim we get so much random food from people whose kashrus standards are unknown, we should wish one another "Chag kosher v'somayach". And on Pesach, after the massive amounts of preparations, we should wish one another "A freilichen Pesach"!!

Btw, Yoshon is a big issue right now, until after Pesach!
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Posted: Sat, Mar 03 2012, 11:38 pm Post subject: re: Kashrus standards and MM

I stopped putting CS candy and baked goods in our MM for just that reason some years ago. As far as trusting kashrus, I figure anyone who has issues is going through the goodies before letting the kids see them, and pulling out anything that they don't eat.

We have one friend who keeps CY whose MM to us is always the CS stuff that has been brought to them! My kids don't mind getting leftovers, cause it's all in good fun and friendship.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3017

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2261 Location: US

I think Yashan is actually the most problematic at this time of year. Right after Pesach, everything becomes OK.

To answer your question, I would try to keep in mind the chumros of the majority, and not worry about 1 or 2 who might not be OK with it. I guess if I could I would try to please everyone, but I don't have the time to make myself crazy like that.

What to tell kids if they can't have something? Simply - we don't eat that hechsher. But we live in a community where we would trust most families kashrus. (We do have relatives who are much less strict than us, but they don't live near us.)

The Yashan is one thing, that we kind of try to keep in our house, but would let our kids eat stuff without verifying. I know it's not logical, but that's how it is for now.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2261 Location: US

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3372

Posted: Sat, Mar 03 2012, 11:52 pm Post subject: re: Kashrus standards and MM

I use yoshon ingredients in my shalach manos baking because some of the recipients keep yoshon. Similarly, if I send out anything milchik, it's CY even though I don't exclusively keep CY. And for yoshon, CY, milchik, pareve... I clearly mark the packages as such and also make sure my name is visible.
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Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3017

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Senior Member Joined: Nov 30 2009 Posts: 138

There are stories of gedolim who would make sure to eat from the mm of everyone to show achdus. They didn't ask the heksherim. I'm so tired of this stuff.

Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3372

I have very high kashrus standards as my father is a kashrus professional.

I would eat most cakes and cookies from friends and neighbors.

I would throw out (or give away to a cleaning lady) some odds and ends that most of you would think has no rhyme or reason.

One random example: I would throw out any candy with the ingredient "confectioner's glaze", even if it has a chassidish hechsher. Once a person is knowledgeable about kashrus, then you start to realize that it's much more complex than showing achdus or not! (Confectioner's glaze is made from an insect. Rav Moshe is matir it, however, my father believes that people told Rav Moshe an incorrect metzius.)

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 30 2009 Posts: 8228

Gold Member Joined: Dec 25 2008 Posts: 2032

In our community we have a community standard which many people follow. We know who does, and who doesn't. People know what it is and those who keep it are pretty obvious.

We have never actually had a problem of getting something from someone who does not keep the standard because people who do, know that the ones who do won't eat.

I should add there are people who keep more than the community standard, but for the most part, the few people who keep cy, its really not an issue. I learned that we are supposed to give things that would be eaten at the seudah and most people seem to do pareve , I assume because of that.

This year, I am doing hamantashen and onigiri (Japanese rice balls stuffed with various things.) will post pics when done.

Also, there are some people who I would not give homemade mm to- in the event I was not sure they would eat from us. I actually think most people trust me, but would hate to put someone in a situation where they had to say something. Maybe that is just the fact that I am not FFB rearing its ugly head because I know that I know more about kashrut on a practical level and practice it than some FFB people.

Gold Member Joined: Feb 08 2012 Posts: 1038 Location: USA

baked goods - depends who gave it to us. I have occasionally to my sorrow thrown some stuff away.
cholov yisrael - we are makpid. we get tons of stuff that is not cy. if it is given to my ds's I will take it away and offer them to choose something else instead from mom and dad's box of candy! if it is given to us for hte whole family, dh adn I, I mean, then I usually offer it to cleaning lady who I hire to help me a bit before pesach,as a special thank you gift for all her hard work. only problem wiht that is that I have to hang onto it for a few weeks. occasionally if it some really special chocolates, I will give it to my neighbor who is not makpid on cy and is not at all offended if I offer it to her!

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4536 Location: Ohio

We keep chalov stam, but I make sure if we include anything dairy, it is chalav yisrael. I shoot for making something parve so it can be eaten with the seuda if someone wants.

If something is not in its original packaging, we indicate the hechsher on each item.

For example, we are doing trail mix plus cookies plus a drink.

Trailmix bags will say:
Pretzels are O-U.
Raisins are O-U.
Craisins are O-U
Parve chocolate chips are (whatever hechsher). Haven't bought that yet.

Drinks will have hechsher visible on it.

Cookies will say, Parve, baked with fleishige keilim.

I will also put any allergy notes on everything.

For the rav of our shul and out rav, we are doing something different, where everything is bought and sealed.

For people who I had concerns that they might throw out my baked goods, or feel uncomfortable with something where they couldn't see the hechsher for themselves, we sent them a Purim card that benefits a local tzedakah organization. Sending 20 card and I making 20 MM (plus five extras in case people come that aren't on our list), plus the two special ones.
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Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8512

I used to live in KGH (Morah - I think we have the same Rav - He keeps only Yoshon, so discuss it with him. There's a book you can get online to check codes at the supermarket about what's yoshon or not)

When I baked MM, I always made sure to put a label - it was always yoshon so our Rav could eat it, nut free, and pareve. But if I made dairy, it would always be CY.

But being that people always make fleishig seduas and your MM should be seuda worthy - how can you make it milchig?
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Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8512

Oh, and there are def. chassidish people in KGH. 2 Shuls full (of the 37 shuls in kgh)

Gold Member Joined: Jan 11 2011 Posts: 1164

I have 2 neighbors that are makpid not to eat a.t from a/o - they also don't buy takeout etc. so I never send them a/t homemade.
I only send homemade items to really close friends & family.
My cleaning lady gets a nice basket with packaged items that aren't our hechsher. She is soooo excited witht it Laughing

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Posted: Sun, Mar 04 2012, 1:19 pm Post subject: re: Kashrus standards and MM

I send homemade things to people who I know won't have an issue with the kashrut, and store-bought things to people who might have issues.