Favorites

Posted: Thu, Feb 23 2012, 10:46 pm Post subject: favorites

Do parents really not have a favorite child? if you have a favorite does it depend on the child's personality being similar to yours?

Posted: Thu, Feb 23 2012, 11:52 pm Post subject: re: favorites

I have to admit that I do. And it's the kid that has the exact opposite personality as me. I find it refreshing - I dont really want to deal with a miniature of myself. But I work very hard to make sure they dont know these feelings, as my mother very openly had favorites, and I wasnt one of them. The way I deal with it is showering the other one with lots of attention, since he's the quiet kid. And I came to realize that he really is a favorite as well, but in a different way.

Posted: Fri, Feb 24 2012, 2:05 am Post subject: re: favorites

No, I can honestly say that I don't have a favourite.
I have kids who are easier, and kids who are harder to parent. I have kids who are cuter. I have kids who are annoyingly like me, and kids who are redeemingly like my husband. Smile

I can truly say that I love them equally.

Posted: Fri, Feb 24 2012, 12:18 pm Post subject: re: favorites

My dh and I are onlies so we really don't get how a parent can prefer a child. We tell our first that Hashem created parents to be unable to prefer or dislike a child.

I hear that some have a preference for a child with a similar personality, or a personality that is different but suits theirs, or a personality they find fascinating. To me it's just horrifying and a nightmare to imagine it could happen to me, lo alenu.
_________________

"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 24 2010 Posts: 3399

I read somewhere once about research done to determine why one child would be more preferred over the other. They say it can be about how attractive they are, their gender, intelligence, and height. Don't know about those studies, but my favorite is my oldest child who also happens to be my youngest child Very Happy

Posted: Fri, Feb 24 2012, 12:42 pm Post subject: re: favorites

I think many have favorites... It's not that different than having a favorite neighbor or best friend.... after all, people are different than each other, so one child will likely be more your cup of tea than another.... I know I definitely have a favorite.... we just "click" in an amazing way because we complement each other personality-wise.... it doesn't make you a bad mother....

Executive Member Joined: Dec 03 2011 Posts: 272

Of course there are no favorites. I do feel closer and more frustrated with different children as time goes on and situations change. I think it all equals out though.