Dad shoots daughter's laptop over Facebook

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 07 2006 Posts: 5733

He should have donated it.

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4703 Location: Ohio

I agree, he should have donated it to a school or program for kids who don't have their own laptops.
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Active Poster Joined: Jan 24 2011 Posts: 70

Here's the thing: this smells more of retaliation than a reprimand.

His daughter did something that was completely inappropriate, albeit totally normal for her age.
This father did something completely inappropriate for his stage in life. Bad parenting, in my opinion.
Even the way he was talking was in an angry, "I'm getting you back" sort of way.

Taking away her laptop would have been appropriate. Public humiliation and an angry response - completely inappropriate.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3106

While I was not a fan of the whole shooting thing (I agree he should have donated the computer), I am OK with the Youtube publicity. His daughter used social media, so he's just using the same medium, because that's the language she understands. Honestly, I think the reason a lot of people are calling him a bad parent is because he's a Texan in a cowboy hat with a gun, and that plays into a lot of stereotypes.

Ah, I loved it!! I saw it this morning on twitter. I'm good with the shooting - sends quite a message, doesn't it??

I think using her facebook wall was genius. Kids these days are all about their social networking pages. We may not necessarily understand that, but it was perfect. She sounds like an entitled teenager who needed to be put in her place.

I think that dad ROCKS!!!
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Platinum Member Joined: Dec 27 2007 Posts: 7374

There are much better ways to handle this than what the dad did. He's only got a very limited set of tools in his parenting tool box and it's not doing his kid any favors.

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5882

On the one hand I think its great on the other hand Im so confused.
Obviously he doesn't have the best tools available because why did she get to this point? Unfortunately grounding + grounding does not = best behavior.

I don't think that he should have donated it because that is not what the story line was. He threatened to shoot it and he did (why I don't know).
He should have deleted every single thing on her laptop, and given her it back empty. No browsing/email/facebook/programs/pictures. Empty. THAT would have probably p*ssed her off more.

Then again after this I can imagine she ran out, yelled at him and moved in a with a friend. Chances are she will also actually get a job and earn herself a new computer. Now she is motivated but for the wrong reasons.
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Platinum Member Joined: Dec 27 2007 Posts: 7374

Also, it went totally viral... He can't ever take it back. Even if she is sobbing and apologetic and becomes the perfect child( or becomes suicidal from the shame), he can't ever take it back.

I loved it and agree with him

Gold Member Joined: Sep 13 2010 Posts: 2265

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 4037

that dad is my hero Laughing

Gold Member Joined: Oct 04 2010 Age: 44 Posts: 1565

I love it!

Silver Member Joined: Nov 07 2010 Age: 33 Posts: 824

A father who was upset after a Tennessee couple deleted his adult daughter as a friend on Facebook has been charged in the shooting deaths of the couple, authorities said Wednesday.

The victims had complained to police that Marvin�s Potter�s daughter was harassing them after they deleted her as a friend on the social networking site, Johnson County Sheriff Mike Reece said Wednesday.
Potter, 60, has been charged with two counts of first-degree murder in last week�s slayings of Billy Payne Jr. and his girlfriend, Billie Jean Hayworth.

The couple was shot to death in their Mountain City home in the far northeast corner of the state. Their 8-month-old baby was found unharmed in Hayworth�s arms.

�It�s a senseless thing,� the sheriff said.

Authorities have been involved other cases where Potter�s daughter, Jenelle Potter, believed she

had been slighted by someone.

Marvin Potter�s friend, Jamie Curd, has also been charged in the killings. Curd, 38, had romantic feelings for Jenelle Potter, 30, the sheriff said.

Potter and Curd were arraigned Wednesday. Potter asked for time to hire an attorney while Curd was assigned a public defender who did not immediately return a phone message.

Assistant District Attorney General Matthew Roark said Curd�s initial bond was raised to $1.5 million

while Roark agreed to put off a bond hearing for Potter until next week, when he is expected to have an attorney. Potter remains jailed on his initial $200,000 bond.The victims lived with Billy Payne Sr., who was the last person to see them alive. He told detectives he saw Hayworth get up to feed the baby before he left for work at about 5:30 a.m. on Jan. 31.

The slayings were discovered about five hours later when a former neighbor stopped by to pick up mail the family would save for him.

The younger Payne was found in his bedroom, and Hayworth was found in the baby�s room.

This video upset me beyond belief. On Facebook (and on another site that hosted the video), people were exclaiming "Woo-hoo!" and "My father would've done that!" etc. etc., and all I could do was shed a tear and shudder in anxious fear, as it brought up too many memories of an abusive parent. Did you hear him say how he was out on his own at age 16? Something tells me that the cycle of abuse has hit its third generation.....at least.

While I don't know this father or the family dynamics, it looks like this guy has some heck of a temper. Anyone who would take out a gun and demonstrate that kind of rage ("This one is from your mother...POW!!!!") needs some anger management. He has every right to be creative in responding to his daughter. When a student of mine wrote that he was bored in class on his Facebook wall, and I saw it later that night, I responded with "How boring was it?"

But this? This has nothing to do with him looking like Jed Clampett or the guy from Deliverance. The man was angry and delivering a dose of revenge. The tone of sarcasm, later mixed with anger, followed by a shakiness one feels with a bit of rage, was palpable.

We are to "teach our children well." There is no education here, merely a man saying "I'm bigger than you are." He would be better served by making a video of him putting a permanent locked password on the computer, or a video of him giving the computer to the local Boys & Girls Club.

Gold Member Joined: Nov 17 2010 Posts: 1080

What Yocheved said. I don't see how a grown man can stoop to that level - in fact, his ice-cold demeanour is much more bone-chilling than the heat-of-the-moment type of rage. It doesn't take a post-doctoral degree in psychiatry to discern that the laptop was an extension of his DD, and if I were her, I'd be paranoically making sure I didn't shirk any responsibilities towards housepets, in case they'd be the next targets. And planning my escape strategy.

Fear and intimidation were never in any books I read on parenting, nor were they tactics my parents ever used. I will never see these as being preferable over respect and trust.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 17 2011 Posts: 6154

The dad did go over the top with the hollow point bullets, face book posting, expressing rage, etc.

Once a parent makes a crazy ultimatum, the have to be able to back it. I discussed this video with my family. I had to explain what Facebook is. My kids said they would prefer the computer be given away rather than destroyed.

I have smashed a Nintendo 3d. I wasn't even angry when I smashed it. I had told my dc this would be the consequence if some behavior was done. I would never post it or even make a video. I felt compelled to carry through. My child does not do that behavior and I don't make stupid threats.

The one thing I did like was he insisted on respect for his ex-wife and Linda.

Silver Member Joined: Jul 31 2008 Posts: 713

I am never a fan of humiliating children, especially in public. So, your kid humiliated you - kids do that now and then. But you don't humiliate them in return - adults aren't supposed to do that. Discipline should never be about an eye for an eye, but rather appropriate consequence for inappropriate behavior. This smacks of revenge.
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