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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 6:21 am Post subject: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
My mother is a convert. She converted with one of the strictest batei din, and is extremely frum, and has bought up a large family of frum children and dozens of grandchildren and great grandchildren.
But, reading the SY thread, it seems that almost every single one of her children, and presumably her daughters children, and so on, would not be considered jewish by some Sefardi communities.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 6:32 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
I did not read the SY thread. I am guessing you are referring to the ban against marrying converts in the Syrian community. This in no way represents other sefardic communities. And by banning of marrying converts does that mean that they hold that converts are not Jewish? I kind of doubt that. The idea was to discourage conversion for the purpose of marriage, not to say that the idea of gerut is invalid.
My husband is Syrian and he would have no problem with our kids marrying your kids. But then again, we don't live in Brooklyn/Deal. Unless you live within a Syrian community in the US, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 6:47 am Post subject: Re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
amother wrote:
My mother is a convert. She converted with one of the strictest batei din, and is extremely frum, and has bought up a large family of frum children and dozens of grandchildren and great grandchildren.
But, reading the SY thread, it seems that almost every single one of her children, and presumably her daughters children, and so on, would not be considered jewish by some Sefardi communities.
How is this halachically ok?
Firstly, it is not just Syrians but it is not all Sefardi groups either.
Even within these groups, converts ARE considered Jewish but members of those communities are not permitted to marry them according to their Rabbi.
Actually, my understanding of the situation is that gerim who converted before the age of 3 ARE permitted to marry into the community, as are children of converts because there is so much taboo around the issue, it never happens.
How is this halachically OK? It isn't. Your mother is extremely frum and so are her children and grandchildren? Chances are that noone from your family would wish to marry into one of those communities then because they woud probably not be frum enough for you (although some of the younger generation are becoming frummer.)
Do you think the people who made this rule will be rewarded for it after 120? I don't.
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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 7:17 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
OP here. Actually, in that thread it was mentioned that some other sefardi groups also have this "takana".
And I kind of understand why they felt they had to make a ban against geirim. My issue is that the ban seems to extend to children/descendents of gerim. And, as someone in that thread mentioned - her husband converted because his father was Jewish, (Syrian) but he is not accepted in that community.
btw several people in my family have married sefardim of different types. No syrians, but it could feasibly happen. We are a big family and not all identical in derech. I could see it happening that 2 young people meet, decide to marry - and wham - it comes out that bubby was a ger. weddings off.
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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 8:24 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
Tzippora wrote:
And this is why I believe these takanos are assur min hatorah. There, I said it. We have rules about inui hager. They are serious rules.
Not in the safe haven, so I've donned my flame-retardant underpants. Have at it.
Op again.
I was wondering if the takonos are halachically allowed. I know a ger may not marry a cohen - so one can argue that this is no different.
I do agree that gerus is a problematic issue in weak communities. I have seen often that people megayer for ulterior motives. But when someone has been frum for 40 years, how can you cast aspersions on her children, and say they are not Jewish enough?
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 8:30 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
amother wrote:
Tzippora wrote:
And this is why I believe these takanos are assur min hatorah. There, I said it. We have rules about inui hager. They are serious rules.
Not in the safe haven, so I've donned my flame-retardant underpants. Have at it.
Op again.
I was wondering if the takonos are halachically allowed. I know a ger may not marry a cohen - so one can argue that this is no different.
I do agree that gerus is a problematic issue in weak communities. I have seen often that people megayer for ulterior motives. But when someone has been frum for 40 years, how can you cast aspersions on her children, and say they are not Jewish enough?
This is very different! We have all sorts of halachic statuses in the Torah (Cohen, Levi, Yisrael, Ger, Almanah, Eved, Yasom... et al). All have their own restrictions and one of those is that a giores may not (usually) marry a Cohen.
But there is no halachic status of "Ger but not good enough to marry" or even "Ger but not frum (enough) now so we don't accept him/her". Anything like that is not a halachic status and therefore falls under people making rules whose end result is inui hager. Which is assur midoraisa.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 8:39 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
It has nothing to do with not frum enough, or not good enough. It has to do with keeping non frum Syrians from intermarrying. _________________ Do you live for the future the present the past?
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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 8:44 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
There is a question about the placement of a comma in the Brooklyn SY takana. Depending on how you read it, it can be taken to mean "conversion is invalid for marriage" or "we don't recognize conversion." I have heard stories that would support both assertions, so my only guess is that it is not agreed upon.
The argument in favor of the takana is basically, the ends justify the means. I have issues with that premise.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 8:51 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
Inspired wrote:
It has nothing to do with not frum enough, or not good enough. It has to do with keeping non frum Syrians from intermarrying.
But the direct result is inui hager. The ends justifying the means does not make it muttar. And if it ever WERE muttar in sha'as hadchak, it should no longer be in force.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 8:55 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
Tzippora wrote:
Inspired wrote:
It has nothing to do with not frum enough, or not good enough. It has to do with keeping non frum Syrians from intermarrying.
But the direct result is inui hager. The ends justifying the means does not make it muttar. And if it ever WERE muttar in sha'as hadchak, it should no longer be in force.
If it weren't in force today more Syrians would have intermarried. It used to make me very upset until a young Syrian honestly explained it to me. Being even slightly familiar with NY Syrian culture it totally makes sense to me. It is better that this is actually a takana for a reason IMO than other groups that supposedly are fine with gerim but would never, ever marry them for no good reason (ie no one in their group is at risk of intermarriage)
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:15 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
I'm only answering because I posted in that thread (but not about the Gerus issue.) I really don't understand the rule and how it doesn't contradict "VeAhavta es Hager". My mother who is Sefardic but not SY was also troubled by the ban. (My father is SY).
But in a weird ironic twist there was actually a whole incident in Lakewood about a non Jew (possibly a ger, but questionable) who was posing as a frum Jew in the Sefardic Lakewood community. He was actually discovered because he was wanted and tracked down by the FBI and actually living under a false name. I even heard (but can't say for sure it's true) that the wife is innocent and was fooled by the husband. The story is here: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/article.php?p=16236
(Just to clarify, I posted the story because I thought the irony was interesting, not at all to support the ban, which has little to do with an impostor.)
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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:20 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
Inspired wrote:
Tzippora wrote:
Inspired wrote:
It has nothing to do with not frum enough, or not good enough. It has to do with keeping non frum Syrians from intermarrying.
But the direct result is inui hager. The ends justifying the means does not make it muttar. And if it ever WERE muttar in sha'as hadchak, it should no longer be in force.
If it weren't in force today more Syrians would have intermarried. It used to make me very upset until a young Syrian honestly explained it to me. Being even slightly familiar with NY Syrian culture it totally makes sense to me. It is better that this is actually a takana for a reason IMO than other groups that supposedly are fine with gerim but would never, ever marry them for no good reason (ie no one in their group is at risk of intermarriage)
I said several times I understand why there is a ban on marrying gerim. But why a ban on marrying the children of gerim????? How would marrying my daughter be a risk of intermarriage? My daughter is 100% Jewish, but (it seems) the SY community would not allow a member to marry her.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:35 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
I know nothing at all about the Syrian ban on marrying geirim, but I just want to add my two cents:
Life is not fair.
What about the mamzer, an innocent, adorable baby born out out of a forbidden relationship? Why is it "fair" that she cannot marry a Jew with a regular status? Is it her fault that her parents sinned?
And what about the baby who was accidentally dropped down the steps in middle of the night by a parent who tripped on a toddler's shoe, and was then paralyzed for life - is this fair to the cute little baby?
If we go about our lives searching for fairness, we're bound to be disappointed and angered very often!
P.S. In the times of the ruling of Shlomo Hamelech, geirim were banned, as the Jews were so prosperous that it was thought that non-Jews wanting to convert probably would not have holy intentions. Is that fair to the non-Jews of the time searching for the truth? _________________ Visit HelpEllen.com whenever you shop at Amazon.com!
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:41 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
P.S. In the times of the ruling of Shlomo Hamelech, geirim were banned, as the Jews were so prosperous that it was thought that non-Jews wanting to convert probably would not have holy intentions. Is that fair to the non-Jews of the time searching for the truth?
Right that is another aspect on the Syrian takana. To put it bluntly the Syrian community is RICH. It may not be halachikly valid for them to accept converts due to their social status.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:46 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
I would venture to guess that the very learned rabbanim who made this takana are aware of "inui hager."
I think that the intermarriage issue was so serious that they felt it was necessary to forbid even second gen gerim. They do not discriminate against gerim in any way other than not including them in their community.
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:48 am Post subject: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
Post hoc rationalization. Sorry, but they aren't the first rich jewish community and won't be the last, god willing. And we are under no obligation to make life any less fair than it would have ben otherwise, especially when it violates a direct torah law. Mamzer is the wrong analogy.
Suddenly I'm the machmir one in town? What happened? Xenophobia got your tongue?
Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:51 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
I know nothing at all about the Syrian ban on marrying geirim, but I just want to add my two cents:
Life is not fair.
What about the mamzer, an innocent, adorable baby born out out of a forbidden relationship? Why is it "fair" that she cannot marry a Jew with a regular status? Is it her fault that her parents sinned?
And what about the baby who was accidentally dropped down the steps in middle of the night by a parent who tripped on a toddler's shoe, and was then paralyzed for life - is this fair to the cute little baby?
If we go about our lives searching for fairness, we're bound to be disappointed and angered very often!
P.S. In the times of the ruling of Shlomo Hamelech, geirim were banned, as the Jews were so prosperous that it was thought that non-Jews wanting to convert probably would not have holy intentions. Is that fair to the non-Jews of the time searching for the truth?
Yay, so lets add more unfairness. How about banning divorce altogether - becasue that has negative repercussions.
Rabbinim will jump thorugh hoops to say someone is not a mamzer.
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Posted: Mon, Jan 30 2012, 9:53 am Post subject: Re: re: I'm not really Jewish according to YOUR group?
Inspired wrote:
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
P.S. In the times of the ruling of Shlomo Hamelech, geirim were banned, as the Jews were so prosperous that it was thought that non-Jews wanting to convert probably would not have holy intentions. Is that fair to the non-Jews of the time searching for the truth?
Right that is another aspect on the Syrian takana. To put it bluntly the Syrian community is RICH. It may not be halachikly valid for them to accept converts due to their social status.
Do you really think someone converts, in order that her yet unborn descendent should marry a rich syrian?
Not allowing gerus is one issue. Not allowing hundreds of frum Jews to marry into your group is another issue altogether.
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