Special time together

Posted: Thu, Aug 30 2012, 7:49 am Post subject: Special time together

Inthe past I wasn't so greatly in touch with my son so I decided that we need a special time together. I would pick him up an hour earlier from the daycare and take him somewhere, usually cafe to read a book together or learn something or just chat. SOmetimes we would run an errand together but usually we go to a cafe.
That was when I was pregnant.
Now I have a baby. And one more sibling in between this son and the baby. The son is 4.
I talked to dh and he agrees that this is important. So I now pay a babysitter to go for a walk with the baby while I have this one-on-one time with ds.
It happens sometimes that when we go to a cafe he just doesn't want to talk, or do the activity I prepared for us, or have me read a book for him. He says, I want to read by myself and looks at pictures (can't actually read yet). Once we were in Starbucks, and he took the book, sat down on the windowsill, turned to the window and looked at pictures while sipping on his drink. Totally like all those starbucks people who sit there for hours - really cute!
But I keep asking myself, is it worth it if he even doesn't want to do anything with me? If he feels like doing this by himself? Is it what the individual time means? Is it worth the money and time I could have spent better?

I'd say, 50 % of these visits are like this. Ozher times we really do something productive AND bond.
Every time we go we get to cuddle etc.

WWYD? continue it the way it is? Take along the baby?

Posted: Thu, Aug 30 2012, 3:58 pm Post subject: re: Special time together

Gold Member Joined: Nov 01 2010 Posts: 1687

Maybe this is an odd suggestion - but why don't you ask him? He'll be able to tell you (or you'll be able to tell from how he responds) if he feels special that you are spending time together or if he doesn't really care.

Gold Member Joined: Jun 01 2009 Posts: 2307

I commend you for taking the time out with your son. It's wonderful! If he doesn't seem interested perhaps space it out a little more, say, if you're doing this every week perhaps do it every second week?

Posted: Thu, Aug 30 2012, 7:27 pm Post subject:

I think it's time well spent, and even if you're not actively doing s.t together, he does have your exclusive company and attention. Going together w him, getting him the drink, cuddling, sitting near him. I wouldn't forgo that.. Its so good of u.

Gold Member Joined: Oct 09 2011 Posts: 1068

keep doing it!! it's definitely worth the money!! he will remember it all his life.

also, I've noticed that boys like to talk about their day at night when they're in bed. try sitting next to him when he's falling asleep. chances are he'll talk about his day then.