Question about benching licht

Posted: Sat, Jul 15 2006, 11:12 pm Post subject: Question about benching licht

To start with, this is anonymous because I'm a mother, benching licht for years (I'm Lubavitch - from age 3), and still have a question on it.

When my mother would bench, she just "waved" her hands three times (welcoming shabbos) and then made the brocha.

but I remember at a friends house, where I felt the *knew better* than my mother, I'd watch that when the Mrs. would bench licht, with each time she "waved" her hands she'd say "boruch hu u'voruch shmo".
I've since then adopted what this mother does, but since I was never formally instructed, am unsure about it, and don't know what to teach my kids. Anybody know??

Posted: Sat, Jul 15 2006, 11:18 pm Post subject:

I never heard or saw anywhere to say anything while waving the hands- in fact I'd be worried that it might be a hefsek between lighting and saying the bracha.

do you think it's a question for a rov, mashpia, who? does it say it in the candlelighting book? (I dont have the book, but I can get it)

also, what should I teach my kids? right now I'm teaching them "one, two three" Laughing

is there a better way?

ok, so sy, any ideas how I can find out about this??

I looked through some of the sefarim on minhagei yisrael and minhagei Chabad and didn't find it mentioned. It's possible that it is a minhag from other circles? intriguing. (Maybe I'll try to get my husband to look into it.)

I have also seen others who I look up to saying other things. I recently heard someone say baruch haba l'shabbos each time that she waved her hands. I am so curious what the right way is. tho all these things that ppl say are probably ways that are handed down from their mothers and then just got passed thru the generations.

but like SY said, that minhagei chabad didnt say anythign about this.

so what is the end??

Posted: Sun, Jul 16 2006, 2:34 pm Post subject:

The end seems to be that it's not a Chabad minhag.

Usually, you either do what your mother has done or what you've been doing all your life�that becomes your minhag. I'd ask a Rav just to make sure there's no halachos involved, and then teach the kids to do what I do.

thanks everyone

I say it too, not sure why though Embarassed

All I know is that that's how my mother does it.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

I think that sounds nice!

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 03 2006 Posts: 4473

I think women have a lot of different minhagim when licht bentching. I think one should follow their mothers minhag.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

Only, assuming one's mother bentches licht..and that one's motherr knows what she is doing!!!!!!!!!

Silver Member Joined: Jul 03 2006 Posts: 716

My mother never waved her hands before the bracha so I don't either - even though my MIL does.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 03 2006 Posts: 4473

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

Well, there might be family minhagim...but it'd be a job to dig them up, then.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 03 2006 Posts: 4473

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18318

This waving the hands thing:
there is NO source for it according to all the rabbonim I spoke to...some say it's like ushering in the shabbos malka or whatever, but it basically became a gesture that people do because they are making the way they cover the eyes before benching licht in a fancy manner. There really is no source for 3. Of course, I'm not lubavitch and I have no idea if they made a minhag that should be done, but there is no reason ashkenazi women around are doing it...

It's kind of like raising on your toes 3 times after you finish shemona esrei -- that is for when you take three steps into kedusha and you rise for "Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh", but some people do it all the time, even when davening alone!

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 03 2006 Posts: 4473

It's a minhag.
I think customs are important to be kept around even if there is no source for it.