Kiddush for birth of a daughter- some questions

I know there is an "inyan" to have a kiddush for the birth of a daughter. Its supposed to be good for their neshama, and not making a kiddush is said to possibly cause problems.

Ok, not asking if you think that's cuckoo or silly or not, that's how we hold.

That said, what counts as a kiddush? Does this simcha davka have to be on shabbos, or does a "simchat bat"/chanuka party count as well for this "kiddush inyan"?

Would there be any problem with having a kiddush for two different girls (not sisters) at the same time? Ein me'arbivin simcha bisimcha, or not at all?

Posted: Tue, Nov 29 2011, 2:40 am Post subject:

AFAIK it should be when you actually have to make kiddush, ie on a shabbos or a yomtov. And yes, it is extremely important to have one.

Not sure about the sharing thing though. we asked specifically if each of our twins need their own, and were told it's fine for them to share.

Hrmmm, I see. Its davka kiddush, not just davka people gathering in their honor and making brachos on food.
Then why is simchat bat a done thing in so many kehillos? Do they do that instead of a kiddush, or in addition to?

As for kiddush, then how would I work things out? I can do a kiddush in shul, but none of my family or in laws would be able to come because they're not local enough to walk there on shabbos and I can't host people. My family davka wants to come for a simcha in my daughter's honor but if a simchat bat doesn't count and I'd need to do two anyhow...

Gold Member Joined: Apr 23 2007 Posts: 2442

You should ask your rav. Ours (Chareidi in Israel) was the one who suggested to us to do a melave malka instead of a kiddush since we live in a different neighborhood then most of our family/friends. We've done 3 so far and its works out great. No kidush then. I think the point is to give hodaah and get brachos for the baby.

Active Poster Joined: Jul 26 2011 Posts: 32

We did a small kiddush for friends (and family)in the area and a melave malka for family coming from a little further away this way the family also got to share in the simcha.

Bracha and hodaa is always good. Kiddush is a minhag you have or not. As per my rav.
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"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

ask your rav, but you could do a very simple kiddush in shul (maybe sharing with someone else) but have the mani event on sunday or whenever.

also you can make the kiddush at home, it does not need to be in shul.

I wasn't planning on doing a huge event in any case. What actually would "happen" for something that isn't on shabbos? Shul kiddushes people come by, make kiddush, eat cakes and cookies and whatever, and go home, and maybe the father speaks. What about when its at home during the week?

Ok, good to know. We don't need to plan a whole order of events and all that?

I went to a kiddush at our shul last year at which two families were honoring their daughters. One of the families had twin girls. So at our shul at least, it is not a problem to share with another family.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 23 2007 Posts: 2442

For our melaveh malkas we had bagels and spreads, salads and desserts. Ppl come when they want and shmooze. DH speaks. Maybe our rav or my father and thats it. Its a few hours but ppl come and leave.

my sister shared a kiddush with another baby girl born the same week. they went on to become best friends. Smile