In-store snack leads to 2 year old in state custody!

Gold Member Joined: Oct 26 2008 Posts: 1248

http://news.yahoo.com/pregnant-mom-says-sandwich-arrest-horrifying-214407004.html

I am always really careful about paying for DS's in-store keep-him-quiet-and-let-me-shop snacks....think I'll be a hundred times more careful now!

commn sense seems to be severely lacking here on the part of the store management.

This story is so horrifying and I am so shocked...

I understand that businesses have to be serious about shoplifting, stealing, etc., but this just went too far. I mean, if the couple intended to steal their super, I'm sure they wouldn't have been so open about eating the sandwiches throughout the store. Doesn't anyone believe that mistakes happen? I am very disappointed with Safeway...
_________________
For every minute of anger, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Barbara, there are so many cases where people speeding are given a warning, and I am sure that there are other types of broken laws that are given warnings as well. I am totally for cracking down on the law so that people do not take advantage of and abuse these things, but in this case, it just really seems like arresting both parents was over the top. I can even understand if they would have fined the parents for shoplifting. But to make an arrest like that...I dunno. I guess it's a hard balance between cracking down on the law and using your own judgement of the situation.

Then again, maybe I'm just too much of a softie for these things lol.

Gold Member Joined: May 05 2009 Posts: 1204

The mom is on another board that I sometimes read. Baby center. She wrote about her horrifying story, but the moderators deleted it, persumably because the case is under investigation.

I would be horrified. What is the standard charge for shoplifting? The sandwhiches were a total of $5.00. If the parents were intending on stealing them, I doubt they would be eating them in the store in public!! And, the fact that they paid for a cart full of groceries, but forgot to add the $5.00 charge, why would anyone do that? It was not an expensive item that they were trying to slip through security.
I am not saying it was right, but the lady has a toddler and is pregnant, of course its easy to forget even the husband was probably busy with the shopping and the toddler.
she says they offered to pay for the sandwhiches, and even the police were a bit baffled about the charges that the store was pressing.
It sounds like this store has either been the target for a lot of crimes, and these people got caught and took the blame, or the store has never dealt with this, and just didnt know what was appropriate.

Their poor two year old is in cps custody!! I mean, its not like they did anything wrong to their child!

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 24 2010 Posts: 3399

While shopping, if I want a bite or if my child wants a snack, I will pay for it before eating, or we wait until the shopping trip is over, when we're either in the car or home. Better yet, I'll bring a snack from home. Eating food before paying for it, even with the best intentions, can backfire. There have been times where I had to leave my full shopping cart, and go home because of a power outage, fire alarm, and a bomb scare. Those are rare occurrences, but there is a possibility of it happening, and no one can't predict such a thing.

I do think this situation was blown out of proportion. I just hate when the news over-dramatizes these stories, when they emphasize on her pregnancy, and how she used to be in the Air Force, etc. It would have been equally unjust if she wasn't pregnant, nor a veteran. She had her toddler taken away from her for almost and entire day! I can't even fathom the terror the parents, and child felt during their separation.

You bet your sweet cheeks this woman will be suing Safeway!

Unless there is more to this story...

I've heard from cops that they had situations where they were going to let someone go with a fine, but they started accosting the police officers. After several warnings, they had no choice, but to cuff these people, and arrest them.

*A lesson a day* Always keep your cool when dealing with police. If you show respect, chances are, they will reciprocate.

Gold Member Joined: May 05 2009 Posts: 1204

Also, in her personal story that she wrote on the other board, she said that they went to get the sandwhiches and were waiting to pay, but there was no attendant their to take the money.
of course, I can't vouche or teh lady if this was true or not, but if it was, then I don't find her at fault for taking the food and intending to pay later.
she had no choice.
I guess survailence video can attest for that.

She ate a sandwich and forgot to pay. That isn't quite like taking and putting the box back. She was pregnant. And to take the child! Ticket and go home. If they offered to pay it should not have gone further than that UNLESS she had been caught "forgetting" before.
_________________
But then again, I'm a dragon.
"The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows he�s in prison."
� Fyodor Dostoevsky (via cosmic-rebirth)

Gold Member Joined: Mar 16 2009 Posts: 2291

Just this Sunday I went to babies r us with my baby and husband, and when we got out and back to the car we realized that even though we paid $42 on all sorts of baby stuff, one item was in our stroller, unpaid for.
So I ran back in and returned it, and they barely paid attention to me.

This stuff happens. Especially when you have kids.

Even if it was on purpose, it was a sandwich. This is way way over the top.

The thing is, it's not like Safeway took her child. All they did was file charges. They didn't necessarily know that would lead to CPS getting involved (who would have thought?).

I agree that it seems dumb to charge someone in those particular circumstances, it sounds like there was plenty of reason to believe it was an innocent mistake. Maybe they get a lot of thieves, maybe the manager was new and afraid to bend the rules - who knows.

An awful thing to happen but it doesn't sound like any one person is to blame, more a perfect storm of bureaucracy and inability to think outside the box on several sides forming over this one poor couple.

Gold Member Joined: Oct 26 2008 Posts: 1248

I feel so bad for her. Along the line, everyone has discretion. The store people have the discretion whether or not to call police. The police have the discretion whether or not to make an arrest, and in this case, whether or not to arrest both parents, necessitating the child protective services people being called. The prosecutors have discretion whether or not to pursue the charges. The judge has discretion whether or not to set bail. Etc. That it went this far is really shocking to me! That poor child, and that poor mom.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 31 2010 Posts: 2093

Even if the store wanted to take a hard-line against shoplifting and prosecute them over the $5 (which is a little ridiculous, but they're certainly within their rights to do so), what did they think was going to happen to the child when they called the police to arrest both parents? They could have just as easily charged only one parent and make their stance against shoplifting without creating a disproportionately traumatic situation for the whole family, including a pregnant woman and a 2 year old child.

It's very bad PR in my opinion and I wouldn't be surprised if people boycott Safeway as a result, causing them to lose a lot more than $5.

Posted: Tue, Nov 01 2011, 2:58 pm Post subject:

I agree that this is a crazy punishment. I mean, how many of us have forgotten to pay for one thing, and then come back to pay for it? The stores never give you a problem that way--but maybe since the store "caught them" rather than them returning on their own, the store thinks it's ok to make an arrest?!

OTOH, I was once shopping in a store--a grocery store that I think is connected to Safeway, and I saw a mom open a brand-new bag of chips she had taken off the shelf, and when her kid asked about it, she said "Oh, we'll just finish it before we leave; they won't realize"--I don't think she realized anyone else was there, but I guess this shows that some people will shoplift a $2.50 bag of chips if they're desperate! (Though, even in that case, I would think it ludicrous to arrest the mom! If anything, charge her for the chips, or even charge double! But arrest?!)

I am horrified at this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously seriously horrifying.

I always give my kids snack bags while shopping- and eat them in the store, in full view- and we pay for them when we leave, and they are totally totally ok with it. they have no issue with it at all. sometimes I pay for an empty bag and they just throw it in the garbage after it is scanned.

once I forgot to pay for a snack bag and I paid the next time I came to shop.

the way Safeway handled this is OUTRAGEOUS. someone needs to get fired, and fast. and sued, big time. what a bunch of nasty jerks.

no, I dont ever come across opened snack bags or sandwiches laying around in the stores where I shop.

I see NOTHING wrong with opening food before paying for it, and clearly the stores where I shop (Landau's, KRM, Shoprite, Pomegranate, CVS, Target) have no issue with it either. they are TOTALLY OK with it, and dont blink an eye when I bring open bags to the register to pay.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2266 Location: US

That is very scary. But it never occurred to me that you can open a snack without paying in a non-Jewish/frum store, and that the cashier would be OK with it. I have done it if I really needed to in a frum Jewish store.

Posted: Tue, Nov 01 2011, 4:10 pm Post subject:

I agree with Barbara that the store should not get sued.

What I think should happen is:
1)The state should forget they had the kid in custody (as much as they are legally allowed) unless while in custody they saw other signs of issues
2) The store, if not on logical/moral grounds then at least for good PR should drop the charges
3) The could should feel free to exercise their right to not shop at that store again.
_________________
~Rebecca
NYM 6/11/2004 Music

LTR 6/25/2009 Lady

"Knowledge works best when shared"

Gold Member Joined: Oct 10 2010 Posts: 1579

Nobody's wondering how the kid just walked off with a stranger? My kids would scream bloody murder, it would make them reevaluate the situation. I wonder what would happen if the kid started kicking and screaming. Would they take the kid anyway?