My kids hate my singing

Posted: Sun, Sep 25 2011, 1:23 pm Post subject: my kids hate my singing

I feel really bad. I dont have a bad voice, in fact I was in choir as a kid, and my voice is pretty good, even if not the best superstar.
anyway I love singing, and I make up all kinds of silly songs or just hum around the house. almost every time I start singing, my kids start yelling stop, I hate it.
I have a feeling its a kind of power thing. where they can get me to stop singing by complaining. maybe they just hate the sound? I dont really know. either way how should I react?
sometimes I just continue b/c it makes me happy to sing while I cook or clean, but with the screaming in the background its just not worth it. I usually end up stopping, sadly. I dont want to give them the impression they can "order me around" though.

it really bothers me . I cant sing in my own house b/c my kids are just annoying about it.
humming a soothing tune at bedtime, never soothes, it only irritates them. however, surprisingly enough, there are only 3 songs they "let" me sing to them at bedtime. and when I start with that routine, they insist on getting those songs sung over again for each kid. so I guess they do like my voice when it suits them. Confused

any ideas?

Posted: Sun, Sep 25 2011, 1:36 pm Post subject:

My poor mother, I did not/do not like her voice. It was too "singy", like too soft and earnest, hard to explain. Aren't I awful? But I just didn't like it. This is not very helpful I know, but just saying, you are not alone

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 29 2011 Posts: 3140

What she said.

Oh dear OP try not to take it personally, it's just that young ears hear differently than older ones. They hear different frequencies, and react differently; it just a sensory thing, and will pass with time. They obviously love your voice, when you are singing their favorite songs. My guess is these favorite songs are sung at a lower pitch. It's just physiology. Don't worry. Hugs.

Posted: Sun, Sep 25 2011, 1:44 pm Post subject:

I was trained as a professional singer. All I can tell you is hang in there. The same kids who complained about my singing when it didn't suit them came begging to me for voice lessons when they got older.

As a music teacher, I have learned that kids (and all people) like what they are used to, so don't give up altogether, but maybe have a conversation with them about limiting time and place. The most beautiful music in the world can be annoying if you're trying to daven, for example. (not that I'm suggesting that you are singing while they are davening, just an example).

And if you can teach them to harmonize with you, they'll be more invested in both joining you and listening, too!

Posted: Sun, Sep 25 2011, 3:21 pm Post subject: re: my kids hate my singing

So do mine!
I could have written your post. As soon as I start singing my kids yell 'stop singing!'
I can't sing them to sleep, although they have certain songs they like. But they have to order me around and tell me which on eto sing. and then they start arguing about which sone I should sing Sad

Truth is, I know I don't have the greatest voice, but neither does my mother and we loved it when she sang. oh well.
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Posted: Sun, Sep 25 2011, 4:12 pm Post subject: re: my kids hate my singing

don't know what to tell you, but I hated my mother's singing--and she was also in a choir; dh hated his mother's singing and she was in a choir; and my kids weren't fond of my singing and I was in a choir. Depending on the choir, it doesn't nec. mean you have a **good** voice, just that you can carry a tune, sing on key, and sound better than a braying donkey, so being in a choir is no raayah.

I think kids are programmed not to like their mother's singing once they're past infancy, don't know why.

Posted: Sun, Sep 25 2011, 5:07 pm Post subject: re: my kids hate my singing

I was in singing school/pro and dd likes my singing, or so she says. It is true that I would treat "ew stop it" as sheer chutzpa.
Now, my mom was not a singer but a musician and I requested lullabies embarrassingly late Laughing

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Platinum Member Joined: Nov 04 2008 Posts: 8180

So did I, although I suppose objectively my mom doesn't have a nice voice. (I'm tone deaf, so I can't tell).

But one's mother's voice, soothing and comforting, singing you to sleep with familiar songs from childhood...
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Senior Member Joined: Jul 04 2011 Posts: 201

I loved to hear my mother singing, and so do my kids with my singing.
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FAILURE IS OFTEN TEMPORARY. GIVING UP MAKES IT PERMANENT.