I bring and serve all of the food. Husband first. Of course.
46%
[ 75 ]
I bring and serve. My husband gets last.
1%
[ 2 ]
I bring the food. Everyone takes for themselves.
13%
[ 22 ]
My husband and I bring the food. Everyone takes for themselves.
8%
[ 14 ]
Whomever wants to help bring food does. Everyone helps themselves.
30%
[ 50 ]
Total Votes : 163
shabbatiscoming
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Joined: Dec 06 2005 Posts: 21984 Location: Israel
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 12:50 am Post subject: Serving food at the table
From the camp thread, this really was bothering me.
If I am missing any option in the poll, tell me and I will try to fix it.
Growing up, we all helped to bring in the food. My father took either last or in the order that the food got to his place.
Now in our home, it is the same. We both bring in the food (my daughter is too young to bring anything but drinks) and it is placed on the table for whomever wants to take and then it is passed around.
Joined: Feb 07 2009 Posts: 6847 Location: IN THE NOSH BIN
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 1:37 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
My dad, my FIL, my DH all get first. If there are married guest, they get next in the order of age. Then the servings go according to the seating around the table.
My mom, my MIL and me all take our servings last. We don't like to eat cold food. _________________ Because it's good!
Joined: Aug 08 2004 Posts: 6128420 Location: You cannot PM me. It wont go through.
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 1:40 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
as of now I serve, its just dh, ds & me. I dont know what I will do eventually but I dont wanna do what my mom or mil do. mom serves, but small portions & then asks if want more. a sil/dil will usually not say yes. my mil does self serve. a sil/dil will not take when newlywed so son/daughter needs to keep in mind to serve her spouse. & a lot of times there isnt enough & ends up being that sil/dil doesnt get.
im thinking of doing iyh: serving & then the leftovers put in center of table for self serve. but I still have time for that iyh.
In general, people serve themselves, unless it's something messy/hot where it is better if the person closest to the serving platter serves.
I serve the kids their meals because they are too small to take for themselves without making a mess.
If it's just us, I serve DH, because he usually works Fri mornings and cooks in the afternoon and is the more tired of the two of us on Fri night.
If it's a crowd, I usually cook, so everyone serves themselves.
** Also, I don't like when someone else puts food on my plate for me. I like to control my portion size. Others tend to pile on too much food, and then it gets watsed.
In general, people serve themselves, unless it's something messy/hot where it is better if the person closest to the serving platter serves.
I serve the kids their meals because they are too small to take for themselves without making a mess.
If it's just us, I serve DH, because he usually works Fri mornings and cooks in the afternoon and is the more tired of the two of us on Fri night.
If it's a crowd, I usually cook, so everyone serves themselves.
** Also, I don't like when someone else puts food on my plate for me. I like to control my portion size. Others tend to pile on too much food, and then it gets watsed.
Usually both my husband and I bring platters of food, and we plonk them down wherever there is room on the table. People take from the platter close to them, and then the platters are passed to whoever wants xyz - not stam around the table, they are heavy platters. Of course if there are guests we will make sure that they manage to take from all the platters.
(Sidenote: I don't think platters are more wasteful; we reheat many of the dishes during the week).
Once in a while there is something that needs to be served (usually soup or a dessert dish). I will start with guests, no matter their gender/age/rank of distinction. Then usually dh, then I just go around the table in order of seating. Sometimes little ones will get served first if they are very impatient, particularly if it's a dessert dish (which many of the adults forego anyway).
In general, people serve themselves, unless it's something messy/hot where it is better if the person closest to the serving platter serves.
I serve the kids their meals because they are too small to take for themselves without making a mess.
If it's just us, I serve DH, because he usually works Fri mornings and cooks in the afternoon and is the more tired of the two of us on Fri night.
If it's a crowd, I usually cook, so everyone serves themselves.
** Also, I don't like when someone else puts food on my plate for me. I like to control my portion size. Others tend to pile on too much food, and then it gets watsed.
What she wrote.
Also, right now my kids are pretty small...DH is an adult and can wait 3 minutes longer for his food. When the kids get a bit older (DS#1 is getting to that point) I can teach them that Abba should be OFFERED food first. But I'd rather not have a meltdown at the table for now. _________________ Emmanuel Tzvi: 26 Shevat 5766
Shai Michael: 8 Cheshvan 5768
Yitzchak Meir: 19 Iyar 5770
Dvir Aharon: 10 Tammuz 5772
We all bring in the food, sometimes guests also help (especially friends). Whoever isnt still stuck in the kitchen for whatever reason starts serving the guests. Depending how much there is we each take responsibility for whatever is in our zone, so we also end up serving each other and we're both last.
Sometimes the kids get before the guests. They're little and cant wait, plus they're food needs some time to cool off. _________________ Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato
When I serve family style, Dh gets the platter first and passes it around, The kids we serve usually since they cannot (or should not) take themselves. When I serve individual portions, I give DH first and then everyone else, When there are guest I serve anyone of them before the kids but DH still gets first. I specifically do not serve married guest before single guest, they are not anymore important or respected than the single ones. (I have a pet peeve about this when my single SIL who is 6 years older than me is served after me, she is married now)
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 8:09 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
I always serve DH first. When it's Shabbos/YT and everything is served on platters family style, he takes for himself, but I bring the platters to him first.
Joined: Dec 16 2007 Posts: 16186 Location: EY, B"H!
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 8:38 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
There is an option missing. Sometimes not the wife serves but the girls or the children. But no matter who serves in my house dh gets first. Whether it is from bowls or platters or whatever it is offered to him first.
For the poster who wrote that her mother and mil serve small portions and then ask if you want more and daughters and dil wont ask for more, are all the women in the house thin or is this a way to make sure they stay that way or is there just not enough food to serve larger portions?
If I serve someone I keep putting on until they tell me to stop. If we don't have enough of something then the order is dh and guests get, and I tell the girls not to take. If my sons and daughters are all there together then it's still the girls I tell not to take along with me. Men and guests get first. That's also the way I was brought up.
Why? Because women, doing the serving in my house traditionally, have the option of going into the kitchen and taking something else out of the fridge and eating it behind closed doors.
Which we have often been known to do.
Also there are certain guests who we know look askance at women eating more than a tiny drop and as they are very Polish, they even make vocal comments about it. My kids have learned who this is and it's a running joke that when these women eat at our house we nibble at a raw carrot and divide up a chicken wing among four women and don't finish it otherwise she will make not nice comments very pointedly at the table. We also refuse all cake and fruit for dessert and only drink water. Lots of water.
When the meal is over and we clean up, we then (my daughters and I) put away some of the food and leave out the rest until the guests leave (b"h it's only for a meal not for longer) or if she sits forever in the living room afterwards the girls go into the kitchen one by one (we have a kitchen with a door that can be shut b"h) and eat to their heart's content. Behind closed doors.
The privileges of being a woman. My husband on the other hand who would have been happy to take another piece of cake doesn't dare when these ladies are around because they will comment on how men eat as well if they take seconds. So my husband, poor thing, is always saying it is not fair, he can't clean off along with us and at least get to take seconds and thirds in the kitchen...by the time he comes, we ladies have finished of the good leftovers!
So there are privileges to being a woman as well! _________________ "Olam Chessed Yiboneh", Tehilim 89.
In my house theres just me and dh so I obviously serve him first, but growing up nin my parents house my mother would serve my father and then it was everyone for themselves _________________ HTML Babycenter Ezboard PseudoHTML, UBBCode and BB Code
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 8:54 am Post subject: Re: re: Serving food at the table
freidasima wrote:
There is an option missing. Sometimes not the wife serves but the girls or the children. But no matter who serves in my house dh gets first. Whether it is from bowls or platters or whatever it is offered to him first.
FS, my last option is "whoever wants, brings in the food. That means anyone from children to guests to whomever you think.
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 8:55 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
DH is from family that serves each person and I am from a, everyone help themselves, family. So I normally serve DH and everyone else can help themselves....
I always wonder though if guests think I am serving him, myself, and not them?! When I do serve each person (rarely) I always serve DH first and he always says, 'please serve the guests first' but really, I think he likes this exchange and wants to be served first! If I actually did serve them first I would love to see his suprised face!
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 9:23 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
I picked bring the food to the table. I usually bring the food to the table. If it is something like soup (or gefillte fish or melon etc.) dh gets first, then I serve the rest out in age order. The rest is brought to the table on platters and passed around, usually starting from my side, as it is closer to the kitchen, and passed down both sides. Sometimes, if there are a lot of people, or I've made a lot of sides, I'll put in different spots on the table.
That's for Shabbat.
For the rest of the week, it depends. Are we all together eating the same thing or does everyone have their different activities? Leftovers, I don't like so much, so I often skip dinner or have something else. My husband will then warm for the kids and himself. Dh doesn't like potatoes and eggs, so on those days dh takes something else. Otherwise, I'll serve from the kitchen and give everyone, asking more or less etc. That's all in the order of what time everyone gets down after I call FOODS READY! _________________ But then again, I'm a dragon.
"The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows hes in prison."
Fyodor Dostoevsky (via cosmic-rebirth)
Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 10240 Location: The Island keeps moving.
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 9:24 am Post subject: re: Serving food at the table
If there's a plated meal (eg, we're having steak), then usually I put everything on the table before people are called in. DH's is always last, not first, since he likes his meat well done.
Otherwise, I usually bring in platters, often with help from DH, DS or guests, place them on the table, and people help themselves, usually starting with whatever food is nearest to them.
I'd be terribly embarrassed if there were not enough for first servings for everyone. In that case, I'd be the one not to take, since I'm the one who miscalculated. But if DH knew what was going on he also would not take. This only happens when the child we refer to as The Human Garbage Disposal shows up. I have never seen a kid eat like this; its almost frightening. So much so that I discreetly inquired into the possibility that his parents didn't feed him. They do. (And for FS' sake, I will note that he's almost painfully thin.) _________________ "I dig every second
I can laugh in the snow and rain
I get a buzz from being cold and wet
The pleasure seems to balance out the pain."
Pete Townshend
Joined: Mar 09 2008 Posts: 10642 Location: american living in argentina
Posted: Mon, Aug 08 2011, 9:32 am Post subject: Re: re: Serving food at the table
freidasima wrote:
There is an option missing. Sometimes not the wife serves but the girls or the children. But no matter who serves in my house dh gets first. Whether it is from bowls or platters or whatever it is offered to him first.
That's how it was in my parents house. Us girls would serve and my father always got first. We would serve on platters and he would pass it around. The boys had to clean up .
saw50st8 wrote:
I'm glad my family isn't so particular about who gets first.
In my house I give my dh first, on a platter, but he usually tells everyone else to take first.
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