Naming first child

Posted: Sun, Jul 17 2011, 4:36 am Post subject: naming first child

hi
we are expecting our nr. 1.
this will be a looong pregnancy cos we found out VERY early.
dunno when it is normal to think about names (never btdt) but since our chasunah I always thought I knew the name of our future first kid.

I wanted to take a name from my grandparents and dh's grandparents and create a double name out of it.
lets say my grandfather was aron, and his was josef, then I would choose aron -josef (or josef-aron) for the first boy.
and if my grandmother was rachel and is was furmie, I would go for rachel-frumie (or frumie-rachel).

thats cos we both have tiny families and most our grandparents have passed away and had a great impact on our lives etc., and we want their name to continue...does that make any sense?

are there any (hallakhic) restrictions to that?
what if the ppl we name after passed away young, or not VERY old...are there any rules?

any idea/advice is greatly appreciated Smile

gut wokh

Posted: Sun, Jul 17 2011, 4:51 am Post subject:

Most important thing to remember: EVERYTHING connected to naming is MINHAG. So some will say you can't even think about it yet, and some will say "I had a short list of 2 names each, boy/girl, by the time I had my first ultrasound." And some will say if it's not EXACTLY the same name then you're not naming "for" and others will say why not? Some will say "ask a Rav" and others will say "we don't ask about THAT".

Talk with DH, decide together. That's the only important thing here!
_________________
Emmanuel Tzvi: 26 Shevat 5766
Shai Michael: 8 Cheshvan 5768
Yitzchak Meir: 19 Iyar 5770
Dvir Aharon: 10 Tammuz 5772

Posted: Sun, Jul 17 2011, 5:04 am Post subject: re: naming first child

marion, your kids have beautiful names Smile

thank you. its hard to tell what our minhag is, cos we are both BT.
I remember my grandmother saying, that naming after someone in the family who is not living anymore was normal where she came from. you were not permitted to name after someone who is still alife (lets say a parent or grandparent for example).
I was 10 years old when she told me that, so I didnt ask if it had to be EXACTLY the same name. also if we reate a double name, it wont be the same name anymore. hm...I will have to ask a rav I guess. our rav holds that the ppl u r naming after must have died at an old age. I dont know how he defines old. is 60 old?
this naming thing is a complex issue Smile

Posted: Sun, Jul 17 2011, 5:14 am Post subject:

Thanks for the compliment. To give you an idea of where I'm coming from with the name thing:

DS#1 is named after my grandfather (Emmanuel) and DH's great-uncle (Tzvi Hirsch). Tzvi Hirsch died childless...we thought Emmanuel Tzvi Hirsch was going to be a bit much...

DS#2 is Shai as a reminder to ourselves that he was a gift (he was a bit of a surprise) and Michael after my great-uncle Mike (Michael Isaac, pronounced the Hebrew/Yiddish way)...who had 4 children but will never have grandchildren.

DS#3 was named after my late FIL (Shmuel Meir). I didn't much like the Shmuel so we looked for something else that went with Meir...Yitzchak Meir was the Chiddushei HaRim, the 1st Gerrer Rebbe (no, we're not chassidim). My FIL had a fascination with chassidut though...so the name fit well. It happens that my great-grandfather was also Meir, but that's not why we gave the name. FIL was niftar young-ish, 63, but not as young as HIS father, who was 49 when he was niftar.

(For the record, there are 3 boys born in the family around the time of DS#3; one is Yitzchak Meir, one is Shmuel Meir, and one is Moshe Baruch Meir. My FIL was known in the community as Meir, not as Shmuel, and that's clearly something that stuck with each of his children!)

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Gold Member Joined: Feb 15 2011 Posts: 1107 Location: UK

Not naming after a young person is usually not after a child or a young adult who had a tragic death.

Many people names their kids after the Holtzbergs HYD and I don't think any added a name whilst my great grand mother died of illness in the first world war (typhos?) at 26 and everyone added a name. so I guess it's personal but I have never heard of someone adding a name of someone who was 60.

If there is no minhag then ask your Rav.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3027

Name stuff is either minhag or just social. Some say first kid must be mother's pick, others say it must be father's- but really it's about what you and DH want. Some people wonder why I didn't name my son after my grandfather and think it's so terrible that I didn't. Well what do you want- my grandfather was a terrible person who abandoned his wife and 4 kids for another woman and refused to give my grandmother a get. So no, I did not feel the desire or the need to name after him. Instead, we chose a name related to the time of year that DS was born. My husband's cousin named after a relative who died young and did not change the name- again, you have people complaining. But there's no rule that says you have to add a name. If you're the type to care what other people think (or maybe you don't care, but you have to because you're BT), then go ahead and find out the rules of your community and follow them. But know that such rules are entirely social and NOT Torah Moshe MiSinai.

Posted: Mon, Jul 18 2011, 1:32 pm Post subject: re: naming first child

Hi. A BT here also. My family always named after a deceased relative. My husband is from a religious family, but no consistent minhag for naming.
In our families, all of us and our siblings have English names and Hebrew names. Sometimes, the English has absolutely nothing to do with our Hebrew names. (Such as DH whose name is
Aharon in Hebrew, and Samuel in English. Our ketuba looks like it belongs to someone else, LOL!)

Each of our children is named for someone who died from our families. We didn't however, always use the exact names of the person. Sometimes we used the meaning (especially if there was someone else in the family with the deceased person's name) or a Hebrew name for a Yiddish name.
We gave names that we liked for first names, and their middle names are after someone. All of our children's names are Hebrew names, (mostley modern) not English ones.
If you don't have family minhagim to follow, do what you feel comfortable with; start your own family minhag.

Silver Member Joined: May 27 2008 Posts: 732

Posted: Mon, Jul 18 2011, 2:20 pm Post subject: re: naming first child

Adding a name, combining... is really minhag. If you can check your family tree you may get an idea of what was done.
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