How should we handle what's probably coming?

My husband and I are both in school and are supported by both sides of the family. We are very appreciative of all that they do for us- we are content to live with as little as possible until we're making our own money, and we try to give back to our families by doing odd jobs for them when needed (DH will do IT work and handy jobs for them, I cook for my mother when she's having lots of guests for Shabbos etc). I also worked part-time through college.

I am finishing up my first year of law school and my parents, who paid tuition for this past year, have just informed me that they cannot do so for next year and that they really cannot contribute anything toward it. Times are hard, and I understand that (although I'm no longer sure that it's worth it to continue law school, though that's a different discussion). I am worried though that they will soon be telling us that they can't contribute their support either. Again, I would NEVER demand it, if they do have to stop, I can't argue with that. But I'm worried about how to handle the almost-certain fact that if my parents need to cut back further, we will be the next line to go in the budget. As per the rules of the American Bar Association, as a full-time law student I am not permitted to work. My husband is also in school and cannot work either. He could possibly cut back to part time or take time off to work, but that will ultimately slow him down in finishing his degree, which he needs to do. His family would probably step up and fill in for my parents for a little while, but not for the whole time we would need it (nor would we want to ask them for more at all- they give so much already).

I want to prepare for what's probably coming. What can we do to get through the next year? How can we make this work? I'm so stressed I can't think straight and could use some creative ideas.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

Are you sure about not beign allowed to work? I thnk many law students DO have jobs.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8258

First, look at all your expenses and cut down to a bare bones lifestyle if you can.

Also, if you have cell phones, can you join a family plan with either of your parents? We did that, and instead of paying for our own service, it costs $10/month for each phone on my mother's family plan. (We don't use our cell phones for much other than mobile to mobile, so its not a strain on their minutes).

You may want to take out additional student loans to help cover you while in school. Its not fun to pay them back, but interest is usually much lower than CC.
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Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

Student loans, case closed.

Chocolate moose- part-time law students can and do work, full-time cannot. You have to sign a contract when you enroll promising not to work. My school does not have a part-time option.

saw50- we already are on their cell phone plan and we do not have smart phones. You can take out student loans to cover non-educational expenses? Is it really so wise given I'm going to need 40k for tuition alone? I'm already concerned about paying back for tuition, given what things are like for law grads these days.

Also- we need to decide if it's worth DH delaying the completion of his degree so he can bring in some money for now, or if it's better for us to try to stick it out for the 3 semesters he has left going at his current full-time pace.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 12 2007 Posts: 20504

OP, this is probably very upsetting for you. Life was sort of planned out to include you and DH being in school at the same time, not having to work and then suddenly! BOOM, life changed.

So let's imagine that you were not blessed with such a generous family who is willing to share their wealth with you. Imagine you were both born into families where supporting their married children wasn't an option. What would such a couple do? There are several options

(1) (and this happens a lot in Israel): the young couple lives with one of the families for a few years, until they can get on their feet. To me this doesn't seem like great option, but in Israel it's not uncommon
(2) Both spouses are in school; one works and studies p/t while the other get the degree, or both study p/t and work p/t. The latter obviously won't work in your situation
(3) One spouse goes to school while the other works. Later on, when the degreed spouse works, the other goes to school. The problem here is that sometime life gets in the way and the second spouse takes forever to get the degree, or it never happens.
(4) Neither stays in school and both work. Bad idea.

Are there any other options that anyone can think of to help OP?

Posted: Thu, May 05 2011, 3:42 pm Post subject:

can your dh work at odd hours like overnight or weekends?

can you babysit?

I would say stick it out, its only about a year and a half. is your dh's degree going to bring in high earning power?

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8258

Are you taking out 100% student loans for tuition already?

I'm no expert, but I know plenty of people who used student loans to cover living expenses.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

Do you have kids? I think you should both work part time and go to school. Switch law schools, then.

You should look into financial aid and taking student loans too.

Active Poster Joined: Nov 01 2010 Posts: 77

Well it is very hard, I know exactly were you r coming from.
Student loans are the way to go and stick it out.
Repaying them is very easy, the interest rate is very low and they are very safe.
Don't give up!! this is the time to struggle and work hard.
Going back is always harder then toughing it out!!!
Trust me as one who has been there with a baby, the rewards will be very worth it.
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DH indeed will have very high earning power (he is in a highly-skilled engineering field); I would have had high earning power a few years ago, but that is no longer the case, though if I can get a government job, I will do ok (certainly once we factor in the benefits and the job security). He cannot take on more course load than he currently has, the program has a minimum and a maximum of credits per semester. I suppose he could do odd hours or freelance work, and we could both try tutoring but it's not so simple- college/grad student tutors are a dime a dozen in our neighborhood because there is a large university in the area. So far I have one vote for sticking it out till DH finishes his degree- do others agree or disagree?

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8258

If its a year, I would stick it out and try to have him pick up odd jobs on the way.

I see I have a few more votes for sticking it out. For those who asked- we do have a baby; tuition for me is 40k per year, and I have 2 left. My big fear with loans is not simply paying them back, but the fact that the market for lawyers is really bad right now, and while it should be better by the time I graduate, it will not be anywhere close to where it once was. Tuition alone will be a lot to take out, let alone adding to that for living expenses...

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 3592

Another vote for sticking it out, especially since you say DH has good earning potential.

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 30 2009 Posts: 4688

Stick it out. Take on any side jobs that you/dh can. Apply for all/any type of aid (foodstamps, medical, schooling, etc) budget budget budget. keep expenses as low as you can manage.

You can def take out student loans for living expenses. do so. Use only what you have to. keep the rest in a savings account to pay back as soon as you or dh has a real job and in case you need to fall back on it. at the very least figure out how much you need per month and use your budget and be sure to only use that amount per month. (esp since they gove you the complete sum at once) (also the more you pay back the less interest you have to pay)

good luck!!

Active Poster Joined: Feb 07 2011 Posts: 65

I'm going to disagree with some of the posters. I would NOT take out school loans if you can in any way avoid it. It's a terrible idea--the amount of money you're talking about is like another mortgage. There is article after article about law students being unable to pay back their debt. And all those law students graduating now will be ahead of you in the job market. You can ruin your credit and put your family under more financial strain. Frankly, its not worth it and the potential for return on your money is low. Talk with your law school, see if there are financial aid (grants) that are an option for you, talk to them about the possibility of taking a year off so you can work full time, transfer to another program that has a part time option. It's probably not what you want to hear, but if your school won't let you take a year off, you should wait until he finishes to go back.

Full disclosure, I'm an attorney that graduated about 5 years ago. I took out a bunch of student loans banking on paying them back easily and its still difficult (and I've been employed the entire time and most of my friends have not--I went to a top 20/25 law school). A) The job market is incredibly tough--even for people with experience. I'm not sure what law school you go to, but if its not a top one or one with a strong alumni network you are still going to have a difficult time getting a job two years from now (esp as law firms are reorganizing and restructuring to meet client demands for lower fees). B) There is very little job security in the private sector and the public sector although it has more security has significantly less pay and those jobs are not easy to get (don't assume you're going to get a gov job, when I was looking to transition, I got a job at a large firm before I could get a government position)--in this market even with the lack of pay, the security and terrible market has made these jobs highly competitive. C) Firms are paying less even if you get a job, some small firms are paying $45K a year which is lot when you consider $90k-$100k in debt.

Your student loan payment could be $1000 a month, which is a lot when you account for the living expenses of two adults and a child (esp a child who will be in school). It will also greatly affect what you can do in the future. You won't be able to afford to take some positions and the positions you will have to take to account for your debt are not child friendly (alternate schedules and part time at law firms are generally a joke). If you want to PM to discuss this more feel free.

Actually, the ABA rule states, "A student may not work in excess of 20 hours per week while attending school on a full time basis." If your school makes a different demand, you should discuss that with your school.
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Platinum Member Joined: Mar 24 2008 Posts: 6528

I agree about being careful about taking out student loans.
First speak to the many law graduates that have 150,000 + in loans because they took out for their tuition plus living expenses. And they can't find jobs. And if they do it barely covers what they owe monthly because salaries are so low.
I have 2 friends in such a position and its so diffucult so please research it completely before being lead with promises of low interest rates and the ease of repaying.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8258

That brings up the question of "Is law school still worth it to pursue" more than "Should I take out student loans"?

If the return on the investment isn't worth it, perhaps the OP should forget about law school for now and find a job.