Need Help To Help DD With Social Issues

On Shabbos I was walking with my kids. We stopped at a corner where we could have gone straight or turned left, both taking us to our destination. On a whin I turned to my older kids and said, "you go left, I'll go straight and let's see who gets there first". My kids ran off. As soon as I liftred my head I saw 2 girls from my teen daughter's class coming toward us. They glanced at my daughter, whispered, turned around and started walking away very, very fast. This all happened at the same time so my daughter did not see them. One of these girls is supposed to be the nicest of the bunch. I have suspected for the past few months that DD is pushing herself onto these girls but she is totaly clueless to that. Her grade is one of the hardest in the school and they never really learned how to be nice. For now I'm not doing anything. I mean, what can I do. The thought of sending DD to speak to someone to help guide her through social issues has crossed my mind but DD doesn't really see anything wrong with her. Any thoughts?

have you spoken to her about this? sometimes kids can work these things out with a little guidance. you obviously got a hint of what's going on. talk to her about it gently. if she has a hard time afterwords, ask her if she wants further help. you can't force a teen into therapy.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2278 Location: US

That is so upsetting. Is there a mechaneches, school guidance counselor, or involved teacher you can talk to? Maybe they will have a better idea of what's going on at school. Hope you work this out.

I am hesitant to talk to DD about this because right now she doesn't know it happened. If this is how the girls feel about her,I'm sure she'll catch on at some point. If I tell her about it, she will be very hurt and probably get upset with me. I need her to come to me first. When/If she does is there anyone who has a good and gentle way to talk to her about this. I could use a few good lines to help the conversation head in the right direction. As for speaking with someone in her school - the thought crossed my mind but there is nobody there who will help. Someone might get involved but the girls are a bit old for that and it would probably make the situation worse. It's painful to watch.