Who "owns" the guest room?

Posted: Mon, Mar 07 2011, 1:50 pm Post subject: Who "owns" the guest room?

When you have a guest stay in your guest room, is it theirs till they leave? Besides being polite and asking to come in if you need something out of the room, should you stay out?

I was a guest for someone and while we were out, she told me later that she came into the room to open the windows because it's beautiful outside. I was very uncomfortable having her go in. I would have made the beds and closed my suitcase if I had known that she'd go in. The window was above my bed so she obviously had to go on my bed to open it!

The room was only a guest room, not an office, not a storage area, not another kids room, etc.

I wouldn't go into my guests room unless I really needed something from there. She could've suggested I open the window myself!

What do you think?

Posted: Mon, Mar 07 2011, 1:59 pm Post subject: re: Who "owns" the guest room?

It's not theirs. But their privacy is to be respected. I think as long as you knock or they aren't inside, it's very fine to go there as much as needed.
But I'm not the type who minds if my bed isn't made or my suitcase opened. I once had the hostess enter the room while we were sleeping (I don't know if she knocked), open the door to the balcony and start hang her laundry there. That was a bit much... but I didn't say anything. A woman who is bothered to be seen with uncovered head by another woman would have been mad, I suppose.
_________________

"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

Posted: Mon, Mar 07 2011, 2:06 pm Post subject: re: Who "owns" the guest room?

I agree, unless the guestroom is also an office or storage room or something, that it is the most hospitable to stay out of the guestroom when there are guests staying in it. I think it just makes people feel more comfortable. My DH and I try to be very respectful of our guests.

Executive Member Joined: Feb 23 2011 Posts: 416

I do have some storage in my guest room closet and dresser drawers, but I would not go in without asking permission of my guests-even if they are not home and would never know the difference. I'd consider it an invasion of privacy, and I want my guests to feel as comfortable as possible.

Posted: Mon, Mar 07 2011, 2:47 pm Post subject: re: Who "owns" the guest room?

Generally speaking, the room is the guest's until they leave, unless otherwise arranged.

My laundry room is only accessable thru my guest room, so it's a problem for weekday guests. I had relatives from overseas staying once, and I told them in advance that I could only have them stay if they were ok with me going thru the guest room to do laundry.

Even so, I found it supremely uncomfortable, like I was trespassing in someone else's domain. I don't usually offer my guest room during the week, for that reason.
_________________
Chayalle

Posted: Mon, Mar 07 2011, 2:53 pm Post subject: re: Who "owns" the guest room?

I ask permission. Our guest room is also a storage room, so I often need to go in.

Posted: Mon, Mar 07 2011, 3:24 pm Post subject:

We move my son our of his room when we have guests. I do my best to take everything out we will need, but there are times that I need another pair of pants or medication that I didn't anticipate needing.

If I need something and they aren't there to ask I go in and get what I need and apologize later.

They know they are staying in a child's room, so no one has been surprised (or at least acted or told me they were) that I have to go in there on occasion.

Most of the time the buchrim leave the door open, which I wish they wouldn't. When they do that it makes it harder for me to keep my kids out and away from their things. It does make me think that they probably aren't too concerned about me entering though.
_________________
Liba, mommy to Zlata Tova 5/6/98, Tziporah Faiga 1/12/01, Esther Rivka 7/13/04 and Avraham Chaim 7/2/2006

Beginner Joined: Nov 06 2010 Posts: 13

I think that if you are a guest in someones house the rooms is technically theirs. To me it just seems normal that if you are not in the room the owners should be free to enter. I think as a guest you should make sure to make the bed and keep the room neat as you never know who will be entering and just out of gratitude to your hosts. I know in israel it is hard to find a house that has a guest room that doesn't double as something else.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 27 2010 Posts: 1979

I think it is "theirs" for as long as they're there. If that room doubles as another room which you will need, you need to tell them that explicitly in advance.
_________________
"I'd agree with you, but then we would both be wrong".