Working Rather than Child-Raising

First of all, working moms ARE raising their children. They are just not doing it as stay at home mothers.

I've been at home. I've worked part time. I've worked full time. I've worked obscene hours. I've always been a full time mother.

Would I work if I didn't need the money? Right now, yes, but I would want greatly reduced hours. Five years ago? No. Five years from now? I'd work full time. Different stages of life have different needs. There's no one size fits all solution.

Active Poster Joined: Jul 01 2009 Posts: 38

I've worked with 2 kids almost full time. now that im finally able to be a SAHM (4 kids) I see how much my kids missed out and I feel kind of guilty. but the ideal for ME would be part time work (really part time like only twice a week for 3 hours) just to get out of the house and socialize.

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7583

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 09 2009 Posts: 3227

I'm a SAHM. Right now I can't imagine going out to work. I have found my routine and I've come to love it. However, when my first kid was a baby, I was terribly bored all day. I had a very lonely day, with dh working crazy hours.

Even when I used to be so lonely, I never wanted to leave dd regularly. I wished I had a part time job out of the house, that would allow me to bring dd with me. That way I could have the best of both worlds. The problem was, noone was hiring a new mother with her baby.

My loneliness basically ended when dd#2 was born and both of my kids began intensive therapy. Then we suddenly had structure and company. Now they're in school and ds is home and getting lots of therapy. I enjoy my routine, but most of all, I'm glad I am able to spend my whole day with my little ones. I love being the one who plays with them all day, hugs them, feeds them, talks to them, reads them books... If they would be with a babysitter all day, there would be so many wasted smiles and giggles that I would never even get to see.

I once saw a baby I know with her babysitter, and the babysitter was talking to the baby while the baby smiled back. It was a delicious smile. I still think what a shame it was that the mother has to miss out on her baby's adorable smiles all day so that she can work with other kids instead.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13155

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 09 2009 Posts: 3227

I'm a SAHM and I honestly don't know how working mothers manage it. So far this school year has been 4 months, we've had baby bronchitus, flu, a 10 day high fever virus, strep and then there was sukkos vacation, chanukah vacation. If I was working I would have been fired by now.
I actually love being a SAHM and wouldn't be able to leave my kids full time in care and go to work, I would just go crazy. (My almost 6 yo is in gan until 1.30, my almost 4 yo is in gan until 1 and the baby 14 months is home with me, and will be until she's almost 3)

Silver Member Joined: Apr 07 2009 Posts: 791

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13155

Silver Member Joined: Apr 07 2009 Posts: 791

since I've become a mom, I've worked full time+school at night, worked full time without night school, not worked and done part time school and not worked at all. while working I did NOT feel guilty, I worked to make $ that we needed to keep up a lifestyle we wanted. we're B"H at a point where I don't need to work and can keep up the same lifestyle.

I will say that being a SAHM is million times better for my family and children, I did not realize how much closer and more patient I would become when I don't have to work all day and then deal with my kids, and I don't think working moms realize, or can even conceptualize the difference in the relationship when you are with your babies all day. I know I didn't really get it before I did it. HOWEVER, I am not for sacrificing and putting financial strain on your family at all just to stay at home. so, in my eyes staying at home is definately something reserved for the very wealthy. if being a SAHM is making your family struggle for $$ then you should go to work. also, every parent tries to figure out what's best for their families, nothing is perfect, but everyone tries and many have no options, circumstances happen. I wish everyone the chance to be a SAHM, but never judge those who can't- there was a time when I never thought it would be feasible.