Need advice regarding pajama day for dd

dd goes to a coed, modern, kiruv school. she is 5 and in pre-1a. tomorrow is going to be pajama day for her class, as they are learning about hibernation and will be playing in the dark with flashlights, etc.

her morahs sent a note home asking that we send our children in *pajamas* with either thermals or clothes underneath. they also said that "nightgowns for girls that are like dresses are not allowed." dh also said when he picked dd up, her teacher specified pajamas only.

I'm trying to understand why they said this. dd is very tznius and she doesn't even own pajamas. she would never wear pants to school, either. ftr, I wouldn't mind if she wore pants, but on her own accord she only wears skirts.

dd has asked if she can wear a specific nightgown. it's fleece, long sleeved, and about 3 inches below the knee. there's virtually no difference between this nightgown and the dresses she wears, except for the material and the patterns.

I'm trying to understand the school's perspective. I thought maybe they're concerned that crawling around in a nightgown wouldn't give much coverage to the girls (it's the same as dd's dresses though so even if she was in her clothes this would still be an issue.) then I thought that maybe the school thinks nightgowns are too long and might be a safety issue. but again, dd's nighties are virtually the same length as her dresses, maybe 1-2 inches longer than some of them.

so what do I do? she really wants to participate. and I'm in complete disbelief that a yeshiva would basically require the girls to wear non-tznius clothing. dd is the only frum girl in her class so it's only an issue for her.

I was thinking of sending her nightgown with a note saying that dd only dresses tzniusdig and I hope they can respect that and allow her to participate in pajama day.

but WHY would a jewish school require the kids to wear pants in order to fit in on pajama day??? she would still be participating in all activities if she had on a regular skirt or dress. she would just feel left out and probably sad. I don't get this!

No idea why they would say no nightgowns. Can you send he in the nightgown with a pair of leggings or sweats underneath and a cardigan on top?

Platinum Member Joined: May 13 2007 Posts: 8153

I agree that you should send her with a nightgown and the note.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 07 2007 Posts: 10429

Posted: Thu, Dec 09 2010, 12:08 am Post subject:

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 07 2007 Posts: 10429

But if dd is the only frum girl in the class, is she not the only one who wears skirts? In which case regular clothes for the other kids are not a problem, but the teacher had to mention nightgowns because many females who live in trousers sleep in nightgowns. (I have no explanation for this phenomenon.)

I would stake tomorrow's dinner that they've had this activity in the past and some little girls wearing nightgowns came to grief.

Posted: Thu, Dec 09 2010, 12:29 am Post subject:

yes, she's the only one who wears skirts every day, and the teachers know this.

so I wonder what's going to happen. they didn't tell us she *has to* wear pants. just no nighties or her regular dress... so I guess no matter what she wears she'll either be allowed to participate as an exception, or be excluded by default.

I chose to send to this school so obviously I have to play by their policies, but I feel like this shouldn't be an issue in a yeshiva; that a student will potentially be excluded because she is actually frum.

Posted: Thu, Dec 09 2010, 11:37 am Post subject:

my husband dropped off dd by her school today and the teacher didn't seem to care she had a nightgown with her. they had her put it on over her leggings and gave no issues.

he never asked why they said no nighties. I wish he did because I really want to understand their rationale. but at least dd was able to participate.

Posted: Thu, Dec 09 2010, 3:35 pm Post subject:

Executive Member Joined: Sep 28 2010 Posts: 344

Our dd's school organised a pj day (she was younger though, in nursery) and they kept specifying that the kids had to wear dressing gownsn as well. I don't know what they were worried we were going to send the kids in - strappy nightgowns?? Wink

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 19 2006 Posts: 4427

I understand that the issue is over already, but wouldn�t it have been much better for OP to have addressed her Q to the teacher instead of to us?
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Posted: Fri, Dec 10 2010, 12:25 am Post subject: