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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 8:09 am
I thought I was coming down with cold over Shabbos, but I woke up this morning to a splitting headache and really sore throat. I've also lost my voice. The thing is, we have a chasuna of my very close friend's daughter this evening.
I think I can make it to the chuppa, but would it be rude not to attend the reception/dinner? It's sit down dinner, and I knew they paid the caterer so would really hate that I'm wasting the money. (For the record, I knew the family's finance is quite tight.) On the other hand, I knew it won't do my voice any favor as like other weddings having a live band means one needs to strain voice just to have a normal conversation.
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LondonIma
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 8:50 am
you're the only one who can decide if your well enough to attend or not- if you truly are not well enough to be there, I'm sure your friend will totally understand and really appreciate you coming for the Chupa despite not being well. If it's possible to speak to her after the chupa to wish her a huge mazal tov and apologise that's probably better than explaining after the fact.
Either way, Mazal Tov and Refua Shelama!
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shenki
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 8:59 am
I understand your problem but is the chasune in the neighborhood? Than you're able to eat let's say the 2
first courses and then go home
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 9:18 am
I would only do what you feel you can do, no matter where it is and for whom the wedding is.
I was a bat bayit of a family when I made aliyah. Think really close, one of the gang. One of the sons got married and I was sick, sick, sick. I felt terrible and I texted the mother on the day of the wedding and my sister went so she told the family why I did not come, but you have to take care of your health more than anything else. If you fall apart, the whole house falls apart, no?
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PinkFridge
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 9:39 am
amother wrote: | I thought I was coming down with cold over Shabbos, but I woke up this morning to a splitting headache and really sore throat. I've also lost my voice. The thing is, we have a chasuna of my very close friend's daughter this evening.
I think I can make it to the chuppa, but would it be rude not to attend the reception/dinner? It's sit down dinner, and I knew they paid the caterer so would really hate that I'm wasting the money. (For the record, I knew the family's finance is quite tight.) On the other hand, I knew it won't do my voice any favor as like other weddings having a live band means one needs to strain voice just to have a normal conversation. |
I told a friend I wasn't going to sit down at her daughter's chasuna because I was worried about their finances. Turned out they were getting a package and had to have a minimun of meals prepared so in the end I didn't make the difference (and I had to go out of town suddenly). So it's quite possible you don't need to feel guilty about whatever decision you make.
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detroitmom
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 9:54 am
Hi Pink Fridge,
I kind of see it this way. Either way you're going to feel miserable. So why not make your friend happy? Plus you won't have to drag yourself to make dinner! Mazel tov and have fun.
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supermommy07
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 9:57 am
I would go see my DR. first to make sure Im not contagious before sitting down to a meal at a wedding!
I hope you feel better.
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geemum
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 10:00 am
If it was me, I would go and just try not to talk to much, so as not to strain my voice.
Leave earlier than you would've if you feel you can't stay til the end. Making the effort will really be appreciated I think.
refuah shlema
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Barbara
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 10:05 am
No. If you're sick, you shouldn't go to the chasuna, you shouldn't go to the chupa, you shouldn't spread your germs, make other people (potentialy even the young couple) sick. The cost of your meal is a sunk cost. Its paid, whether you come and stare at it, devour it, or stay home.
I wouldn't call the mother of the bride, but maybe you can call someone close to the family -- a sister in law, perhaps -- and tell them that you're devasted that you're too sick to attend, and suggest that maybe the meal can be offered to someone else.
Hope you feel better.
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Kayza
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Sun, Dec 05 2010, 12:48 pm
Do NOT go to the wedding. You sound like you have a nasty strep infection, and getting a whole bunch of people sick is NOT responsible. I don't care how tight their finances are - if you explain the situation, they should understand. It's not like you could have prevented it.
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