WAHM--anyone keep their baby home and work 6-8 hrs per day?

Executive Member Joined: Aug 23 2009 Posts: 394

I just started working full-time again (worked half time for 2 weeks after maternity leave). My baby is 10 weeks old. I work, from home, 7 1/2 hours per day. He's my first, so it's not like I have other kids to take care of, but still, I'm finding it incredibly difficult to get my hours in, be there for my husband (even though I haven't really been cooking much--I freezer-prepared for this), do household stuff, and sleep! I'm falling apart I'm so tired. I have no idea what will happen when the freezer stash runs out.

I can't decide if I need to work harder at figuring out a solution, or if I'm delusional and I shouldn't expect to be able to keep him home. Most of my hours are flexible (so if I did send him out I could for only half the day and do the rest at night) but I do have to account for every minute of them.

People tell me they worked at home while their baby napped or whatever, but I don't know if their situations are really similar, and I should keep trying, or if they maybe work less hours, or their babies were better sleepers, etc.

I really want to keep him home with me and I can't figure out if it will just be a tough learning curve or if I'm torturing myself purposelessly.
So...does anyone have anything to offer? Smile

thanks...

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 02 2006 Posts: 4767

I worked at home for many years. Now I work part from home and part in an office. When I am at home I am watching my twins at the same time. I have to say, I think over the years I've gotten really good at this whole "work at home" thing, but if I were you I would possibly get a babysitter for a few hours either every day or a few times a week.

Is your job the kind that needs to be done at certain hours? My jobs usually had deadlines but could be done whenever I had time, so sometimes if I had a big deadline I worked late in to the night or all day on a Sunday, etc.
_________________
"G-d I trust will understand, I'm not so sure about the neighbors.." -Yentl

Diamond Member Joined: May 24 2007 Posts: 4616

don't bash me but I personally find this impossible.
if you work 3 hours and you can take breaks to take care of your baby it's one thing but I find if my baby is home - I'm either not being fair to work or not being fair to the baby - it's hard to do both at one time.

that being said - it also depends on what you do? I do programming and I need to concentrate.
I can type with my baby nursing (well until now - now he's 5 months and it distracts him that he ends up pushing my keys)

I tried this in the beginning with some of the kids and ended up seeing that I needed to send them out.

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 02 2006 Posts: 4767

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 12 2004 Posts: 3566

I never was able to keep my baby home past 3 months old. Like someone said, anyone I know who keeps their kids home works less hours so they have more leeway.
Happens to be my baby is very good these days. She's 9 months old. I still send her out, but when she's home sick, which has been happening too often, I'm usually able to work.
Anyway the company I work for officially does not let us keep kids at home with us while we work.

It is extremely difficult, if not impossible.

I have kept mine home till 2. I can't work more than 6 hours. That is a real income drop for us. I can work 9-12 at night
2 hours nap
1 hour with him running around throwing things.

have done this since he was a baby..he slept more and I could maybe get 7-8 then if I went with less sleep

It is not totally impossible, but impossible for the long term without losing one's sanity. If I could afford it, I would put in daycare...I just can't..catch 22...need to work to pay for the daycare, can't put him in daycare without working more etc...
_________________
Say, Think or Do One Thing Now to Bring Moshiach!

Posted: Mon, Nov 08 2010, 8:47 am Post subject:

I did it, but not that soon after my first was born, only after my second, third and fourth. I think that there is more of a learning curve and you might need to cut yourself a bit of slack after your first.

I learned to put up supper in the crock pot first thing in the morning so it was off my head and I wasn't try to make supper when the kid and I were tired and cranky already. Baby swing and bouncy seats and nursing while typing all make it more possible. I had a mobile hanging from a desk drawer and put the baby on a blanket on the floor next to me.

It won't be easy, and it might be worth have a teenager come for a couple hours to watch the baby in your house in the afternoons while you are working, or something of that sort, if you can.

Becoming a mother has a learning curve. Beginnings aren't easy, so don't be too hard on yourself, if you need it, get some help.
_________________
Liba, mommy to Zlata Tova 5/6/98, Tziporah Faiga 1/12/01, Esther Rivka 7/13/04 and Avraham Chaim 7/2/2006

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 16879

7 1/2 hrs with a baby home is nearly impossible. The child ends up being neglected as well - you have to essentially "occupy" or ignore your kid the entire day.

Naptime is 1 or 2 hours, after bedtime is another 3 hours, and when are you supposed to do any housekeeping? I suggest you send him to a babysitter for part of the day, say 2-3 hours, and do your most intense work then.
_________________
http://www.autism-parenting.com

I haven't worked 8 hours a day since the beginning of my pregnancy-- 4 years ago. Smile

When my twins were little I had help for 2 hours a day I think it was---- and I was able to do another hour or two without help (while they slept), but I couldn't depend on evenings at that point since they were little and up a lot in the evenings. NOW, I work in the mornings while they're at preschool (I should be working now--- soon!), and in the evenings when they sleep.

I agree that a mother's helper would be great for you---- someone to be with the baby while you work-- you can still hear everything, take little breaks to go cuddle or do a diaper change.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 24 2008 Posts: 6528

I do it when they are newborns. But once my babies turned 5- 6 months depending on the baby I couldn't do it any longer. It wasn't fair to them. So I started sending them out around that age.
I was still happy that I was able to keep them with me when they were real newborns/infants.

Active Poster Joined: Jul 08 2010 Posts: 47

Maybe you could send your baby out for only a few hours to a babysitter. I work from 9-11 while my baby naps and then I take him to a babysitter until about 1:30 while I work. I get in a good morning that way and he is only out for part of the time. I tried working while he napped but I had no time for anything else. Now I have a good morning of work and use his afternoon nap for things around the house or resting. He also goes to bed around 7 so I have some time at night also. If he is sick, I can still get in around 4 hours during the day working while he is napping. He needs attention and does not like if I am on the computer while he is around. I find it isn't very fair to him or me to try to work while he is around and I usually lose out both ways-he is miserable and my work is bad because I can't hear well (I do medical transcription).

I've worked from home with both my first and second (my first all the way up til he was two! He was a good napper), but I work only about four hours a day. I could not have done 6-8 hours a day except with a real newborn (which yours is just barely anymore), or while driving myself crazy or feelign that I was neglecting my child. If there's a way to get a babysitter, mother's helper, or somebody for just a couple of the hours that your baby is awake, that would be ideal, as others said.

I don't know anyone who has managed hours that long without a sitter or sending out for at least some time. The only people I know are those who worked part time.

Active Poster Joined: Oct 10 2010 Posts: 89

I work about 6 hours a day and have 2 kids home all day. Some days the house is a wreck. I work an hour or two during the day and do the rest after they go to sleep. It's worth having them home- such nachas. Hard, but manageable. PM me if you need chizuk.

Beginner Joined: Nov 04 2010 Posts: 3

Can I ask you how you found a work from job? I have been searching all over the place and can't find anything!

Aishda--- I pmed you with a suggestion and you said it wasn't quite what you had in mind. My feeling is, beggars can't be choosers--- if you want to work at home you have to do what's out there if it makes good money even if it's not what you'd ultimately want to be doing if you had another choice. With special needs twins, I wanted to make sure that somehow I was the primary caregiver and by circumstance, I also need to be the primary breadwinner. So working at home is my best option. You pmed me that you're "more of an artist"..... so I hope you find something wonderfully artistic to do at home that also makes great money!

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 10 2005 Posts: 3401

I work from home and find it quite challenging now since my baby is not a good napper - like on a good day, it is like 2 40-minute naps and she is not down to bed consistently at night either. I BH have other kids too so I need to factor in their schedule - like if baby goes to sleep and 10 minutes later, I need to do carpool, it is crazy! And then I have to have all my errands around when she might nap so she wouldnt fall asleep in the car and then I would lose the time later!

When she was a few months old it was much easier since I would put her in a sling and she would nurse on and off for good couple of hours in a shot and I would accomplish. I could not imagine doing 7.5 hours with baby home at all but maybe you could send her out a couple of hours and have her home the rest...

I think it is impossible.
I have been working full time for 12 years with only three three-month breaks for maternity leave for my three kids. I have also had a job where I could take work home for some of it. This was when I had a full-time babysitter.
I find it impossible. You are either cheating your employer by doing less work in those hours than you would do from the office, or neglecting your child.

You don't have to "send out" your baby. You can find somebody to take care fo the baby inside your home while you are working. Still it can be distraction when the baby cries etc... Ideally the caregiver would take a lot of walks outside, and you have a dedicated room for your work where you can close the door.

Executive Member Joined: Aug 23 2009 Posts: 394

Everyone, thank you SO much for your responses! I really appreciated it and read all of them, and they helped me both to make my decision and feel comfortable with it. I don't have a big enough apartment to have someone in the house (and it costs over triple regular babysitting), so I worked it out and with my husband babysitting a little when he's home, I am sending my baby to a babysitting group for 3 hours a day. One of my best friends does it, so I feel comfortable leaving him with her. It's working out well, Baruch Hashem, and I am getting the hang of it.
One thing I learned is I have to just ignore whatever anyone else says: I know that I tried, and I know what works for me. I really appreciated reading everyone's thoughts and experiences! (imamother to the rescue Smile

)

Aishda--I'm trained in a field that often has work-at-home jobs. what you do makes a big difference.

Executive Member Joined: Jul 25 2011 Posts: 315

I work 6-7 hours a day. I tried one week with my rambunctious 9-month old home and it was a disaster. I send him out from 9:30 to 2:30, and do the rest when he's sleeping. I agree, by keeping him home you're cheating him and yourself because all day you're constantly running away from him and trying to distract him. By sending him out I have clear, differentiated play time, when he gets my full attention, and work time. I don't know how it can work any other way.

Executive Member Joined: Apr 09 2008 Posts: 288

ive done it until my DC was a year old. After that I just couldnt manage the time, so ODD headed to daycare. YDD is now at home with me, but will also be heading to daycare after a year. I cant devote the time or the focus I need to do my job when I also want to be the best mom.
_________________
DD 05/09
DD 06/11