"hair down there" and the talk (from a different B

My dd is 9. She has had sparse pubic hair for 6 months or so, but she just noticed last week. She was really upset. "It's gross Ima! It's like an inch long! ahhhh!!"
So I explained that all ladies have it, and under your arms, and the hair on your legs gets darker and longer...
"I don't want to be gross. Can I take it away? Everyone gets it?"
(here's the kicker:)
"Even fancy ladies get it? What do fancy ladies do?"
"It's so gross. Am I going to get scratchy hair on my legs? Ima it's so disgusting! Can you take it off now?"
I told her it's good and natural, but that lots of ladies including myself take at least some of it off. I told her that I didn't feel right taking it off for her right then.

HELP!! I feel like children who need their Ima to help them wipe after diarrhea (how I knew about hair to begin with) shouldn't be helping removing hair. She's a child, a little girl, right?

When I was her age, I knew everything from books at the library, and from books at home, and tv. I solved this kind of probably on my own (found scissors, locked bathroom, etc.) I would never dream of asking my mom to help. I have 3 older sisters, though. She must feel so alone being the oldest girls.

She'll probably get used to it, but what would you do? Has anyone dealt with this with a young child?

(referencing the other thread about periods, I keep putting off "the talk"...probably it's about time to have it already, right?)

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 17093

if she has pubic hair it's time to talk about periods. does she wear a bra yet?

I was told it's part of growing up and I embraced it.
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Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 6019

I think if it can't be seen when wearing a bathing suit, no need to remove. If she only goes swimming in the summer, assess the situation then. Because if a kid is really hairy and it's growing out of bounds, that could be embarrassing at the pool, but otherwise it's probably better to leave well enough alone.

Amazing what little kids have to deal with at younger and younger ages. Your dd seems uncomfortable with the growing up process - why grow up at 9? But that isn't her choice, at least physically. She has to be informed about perios, etc. (It sounds like you are doing a great job already!) Hopefully when she becomes more comfortable with the idea of puberty, she will find its manifestations less gross. she's just panicking and asking Ima to take away "growing up" now. Keep sending her positive messages.

If she is so uncomfortable about it it may be better to teach her and let her use hair removal methods than wait for her to hate it enough to experiment with her own ideas of hair removal or learn from friends.

Active Poster Joined: Jul 05 2010 Posts: 99

You may also want to find some books on puberty for her. When I was younger the American Girl Doll company put out a really nice one. I too am the oldest and hit puberty really early. Having something to refer to that was written specially for girls my age was really helpful.

Also, have the "talk" with her. If she's freaked out about pubic hair imagine how scared she will be about her period. I know if took me a few years to adjust to mine, especially since I got it before everyone else.

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 01 2008 Posts: 4023

I agree with MB that you need to talk to her about the period. What better sign than that? I know several girls who had it at 9 and I know one who had it at 8.

I'm surprised that a girl this age still needs her mother to wipe her after diarrhea.

Posted: Mon, Oct 25 2010, 5:26 pm Post subject:

some people are more freaked out by bodily hair than others ... but who better to turn to than her mother ... she is asking for help here ... I don't care if she is 8, 9 or 20 ... Help

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NUTso but cute ~ things balance out Nervous

I think that kids pick up a lot from the attitude of their mothers, so your attitude now can make her change/form her own accordingly. I think the first thing would be to stop wiping her, no matter how messy it is. She's 9 and should be able to manage on her own IMO, unless she has issues that warrant it.

Could you tell her that this is part of growing up, and becoming a woman and then have a talk about her period? You can turn this really positive if you then say you two are going to celebrate this new stage and let her have a day off of school, take her out to her favorite place, have lunch, ice cream, let her buy something that'll make her feel positively awesome about herself. If you put this positive spin, I would think she might embrace this slowly.
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