Parenting Bratty Kids? This Book is For You!

Mommy F.

Sat, Sep 25 2010, 9:55 pm

I just finished reading this book and here are my comments on it.

#1 If you don't read the book from start to finish you can not understand his full approach

#2 He is a very religious christian and makes references to the new testiment which I did not like

#3 For mother's who are softies with their kids and need advice on how to discipline better, this book can be useful.

#4 It's very much the type of book that you have to take what you like and leave what you don't like

#5 I have read many parenting book and have taken many parenting courses and this book definately had a lot of new information and extremely unique parenting advice.

#6 I liked how he keeps saying that ADD and ADHD are very much overdiagnosed. I like how he gives other techniques to try before putting your child on medication right away.

Over all I learned a lot from his book. I am implementing different aspects in my parenting from it, and I am glad I read about this book on imamother.

marina

Sat, Sep 25 2010, 10:05 pm

Thanks MommyF.

here's what my friend wrote to me about this book after I thanked her for her suggestion:

Quote:

My whole family life is different now. I don't hate my kids anymore and I don't feel like running away and never coming back. We have a normal, sane household now. I'm also telling all my friends about it. Who would've thought, after all the books I read and parenting classes I took, that the real solution was just plain good ole fashioned common sense?

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2010, 10:49 am

I can't quite follow all the posts here, but would like to comment on the topic. I think a problem in general in today's parenting is that parents do not have autority over their children. We now have the opposite end of the spectrum of "children should be seen and not heard". My children are bli ayin harah not "bratty". Their teachers comment how they are so well-ajusted, but so respectful. I'm a very "mean Mommy". My husband used to go crazy, till he saw the light! For example, if my three year old would kvetch for an hour that he doesn't want to go to sleep, and would bang on the wall, or something like that, he would lose his mitzvah note for the next day. (which was devestating). My husband would have liked to bribe him, if he went to sleep nicely, he'd get ices in the morning. I do use rewards when appropropriate, for example, if you call gradma to say good shabbos (optional) you get an ices, or whatever. Something that is expected of them, does not get rewarded. Another example, I have a neighbor who is forever bribing her kid to do anything. The stakes keep going up and up. To get him to come in from playing outside, she promises a new bike, later bedtime, no school the next day, it's crazy. If my kids don't come in within three minutes of when I call them, the lose desert. The end. Interestingly, my kids almost always come in right away, but her kid is out sometimes till 9 o'clock, and he's five years old!! The book does sound like it should work. Good luck!

anon

Thu, Oct 07 2010, 8:00 pm

There is more than one way to establish authority. I believe in parents being an authority figure and I personally find this book offensive.

It's not like it's a choice between the author's parenting style and your neighbor's parenting style. There are other choices as well.

Ruchel

Sat, Oct 16 2010, 6:10 pm

A few days ago teen girls came to adopt a few of our pets and after like 10 minutes, they told me I need to be stricter or dd will disrespect me as a teen. Teens! (for the record, she was playing "biting mom through her skirt" and "trying to nurse", two things she does to get my attention).

I MUST go back to this book. LOL

amother

Sat, Oct 16 2010, 7:29 pm

I do not believe in this kind of punishment!! and think this book is totally wrong! there are ways to motivate the child to dow hats right without fear and punishment and beacuse "I said so" if you want to have no relationship with your children when they grow old, this is the right book!

Ruchel

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 10:31 am

So I finished this book. It's the first modern non Jewish parenting book I can relate to, no nonsense, no "psychobabble" as he says, no weird guilt.

We're starting the tickets thing on Monday.
I've also decided the potty needed to go - especially given that she used the toilets until last Purim, when she suddenly decided it was "less tiring to use the potty".

Thanks Marina for posting about this book.