6 year old DD said other kids STARE at her during lunch?!?!?

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 27 2006 Age: 30 Posts: 2547

so my DD tells me today that the other kids in her bunk stare at her during lunch. I asked her why? she said they asked her why she always brings weird lunch in a weird plate. Her lunches usually consists of pasta or a sandwich, in a 3 section dish with cut up fruit/veggies. I usually ask her what she wants for lunch and what she tells me so that's what I give her. She's in day camp already for 6 weeks, and this is the first time I'm hearing this. (not to mention that I am highly insulted by the fact that my DD doesn't have cool lunch).

so of course I asked her what the other girls eat for lunch, which is pizza bagel that they warm up in the morning before camp and eat lukewarm. I asked her if she wants and she said yes, with a different plate. I said no problem so now I gotta stock up on pizza bagels and find a "cool" lunch plate.

question is, is this normal 6 year old behavior that I should call the counselor to keep an eye out if she's socially ok with the other kids? I mean she comes home soooo happy every day so I never dreamed that there could be girls in her bunk who are being so snotty. is this like a petty thing to call the morah about?

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 11 2007 Posts: 3794

Her lunch doesn't sound weird to me. It's not like you're sending her with borsht and pickled herring, lol! I remember kids making stupid comments about my lunches when I was a kid too, even though my mom sent me normal food like PBJ or tuna sandwiches with veggies and fruit, though I don't think it started until maybe 3rd or 4th grade. I can't believe kids get mean so early. Sad

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 03 2007 Posts: 4449

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3170

This is totally normal behavior. I wouldn't call. Just give her the bagel pizza if it makes her fit in better.

she doesn't want to stick out. give her what she wants. IF she said "no, I like the container, and the lunch u give me" then u would need to address, the staring. she doesn't want to stick out. give her the same, as everyone else, since she prefers it that way.

total normal behavior.

Gold Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 1300

I would probably still call because even though it may be "normal" behavior it isn't acceptable. They shouldn't be rude to your daughter just because her food is different for pete's sake!!

Silver Member Joined: Apr 28 2009 Posts: 838

please do not call the morah about this! try to find snacks/lunch that you and your daughter find acceptable. I remember as a little kid there were always some "weirdos" who brought chicken and rice for lunch while everyone else had sandwiches. kids have their own culture...

when I taught 3rd grade, kids who brought sushi were considered cool and kids who brought pizza were not! depends on the group.

A sophisticated lunch will make kids jealous hence nasty.

Still in HS (!) some envied my lunch because it was made by my dad and allowed me to not eat at the cantina... Tell your DD they are just jealous. Or change her lunch if she prefers.
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"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

It's normal behavior for 6 year olds. And when other kids are not so nice to your DD, the way to deal with it IMHO is to build your DD up. Tell her it doesn't have to bother her, but if she wants she can have pizza bagels. If she wants sandwiches or pasta she should just have the confidence to answer that she has these lunches because she LIKES them. It will give the other kids something to think about.

Mothers who constantly call the Morah to try to control other kids' normal (though not necessarily nice) behavior may wind up with a kid who controls others around her by complaining about them. Those children become hyper-sensitive and every little action by their peers gets interpreted negatively. So kids don't find it worthwhile to be friends with that child. (My DD has one like this in her class, and who would want to be friends with the class whiner who will judge your every action?)

Now if they were punching her because of her lunch, that would be a different story. But staring is just curiousity (and may be their just looking and your DD is interpreting it as staring - especially as it took a long time for her to mention) so I wouldn't make a huge deal of it - just give her the choice of a different lunch or ideas on how to deal with it when she feels others are staring.
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Chayalle

OP, tell dd to offer some of her lunch to share with them. I did that when some kids found my lunch weird (too "ethnic" for their taste, like the yiddish onion bread, cheese cake etc). They ended up loving it Laughing

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 30 2009 Posts: 8274