Should I send to Public School

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 3:47 pm

Ruchel wrote:

amother wrote:

Ruchel I don't know where you get your facts from. I am European and it is unheard of to send your kid to public school.

You're probably in one of those few places where the new generation doesn't do it anymore. Like, Antwerp.

While in big communities it's getting rarer (if you have money to pay), in smaller communities all around Europe it's the norm (few homeschool), and a priviledge in many others.

Use the search engine, it has been discussed and explained many times.

I don't know what you mean"new generation" well obviously worldwide the previous generation went as there was no Jewish school, it was like that in the US too and just because in France some people still send to public schools they are the minority there and it is not like that in Europe, and no I am not from Antwerp.

anon because I dint want to reveal me location.

nylon

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 3:53 pm

marina wrote:

do both secular and limudei kodesh on line. There are frum online schools and pretty good secular schools. We are thinking about doing that, to get out of the tuition sinkhole.

How is she going to homeschool if she works full time? She still needs someone to watch them all day, take them to homeschool groups (HS'ed kids still need to socialize) etc. Which she can't afford.

shosh

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 4:15 pm

I went to a very good girls' public school in London and had a great time. I received an excellent education and made good friends. Being the rebellious type, I watched many of the non jews around me running away from their religions and sleeping around and decided that I marched to the beat of a different drum for anyone else. So I went the other way and was an aggressively idealistic Jew.

But I wouldn't recommend it for my kids at all ... because I don't know how they would have taken what I saw all around me.

Ruchel

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 4:28 pm

amother wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

amother wrote:

Ruchel I don't know where you get your facts from. I am European and it is unheard of to send your kid to public school.

I'm scratching my head again.
-Do you really think all communities in Europe have a school? REALLY?
-Do you really think France is part of Africa or Asia or America? REALLY? If you are European, you know better.
-Do you really think in France the shomer mitzvot parents who send to PS are a minority? REALLY?

I didn't ask you to reveal your location. I gave an example.

This discussion is leading nowhere. I'll just say, go out and go see smaller communities. Get informed. USE THE SEARCH ENGINE.

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 4:49 pm

Ruchel wrote:

amother wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

amother wrote:

Ruchel I don't know where you get your facts from. I am European and it is unheard of to send your kid to public school.

No not all communities do but people don't choose to live in such places people will send their kids to a further school I happen to know a family from Germany and families from Nice and Lyon who send their kids to Paris. Nowadays this generation not the 1960's if you are Frum enough to care about your child's education you wont live in such a place unless you are the Rabbi or have job commitments and you would either get a tutor or send your child to another community that has a school.
I think you are living in another era and you are talking about traditional families not your regular Shomer shabbos.
Once again I would love to argue in my name I do not like to hide behind my name however I really do not want to reveal my location.

allergypro

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 4:59 pm

op I totaly understand you! the school that my girls were in closed down as well! It was a nightmare getting in somewhere else. Finally, with a TON of pull, we just got in. the school we got into was not our first, second, or even fifth choice. it was our LAST resort. but we got in. We did not discuss tuition yet, but I already took a second job to be able to cover at least most of it. these schools r all nuts. its impossible to get in, they give u all kinds of crazy reasons as to y they cant accept your child(ren), without even meeting them mind you, and then when u finally r accepted somewhere, they make you feel like they did you the biggest favor and charge a rediculous amount of tuition. Then they tell you, "ya know, the economy.." what do they think, the econmy didnt affect us?!?!?

On another note, I wonder if it's the same school???????

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:24 pm

First off I really feel for you that you are in such a predicament. It sounds like you really want the Jewish education for your kids which you know to be so important, but are having a hard time finding a school that will accept you in your current economic situation.

This economy is really tough on everybody. I know, I'm unemployed. But just remember that Jewish education is where it's all at, and don't compromise.

It sounds like you and your husband are doing all you can to support and run your family. Sometimes all that's left to do is daven... (I know I'm sounding like a rebetzin...If you'd meet me you'd laugh LOL

)

Where there's a will there' s a way!! Stand firm... I'll be rooting for you!

If I remember correctly a person's income is pre-determined on Rosh Hashana excluding what he will go and spend on Jewish education for his children.
I don't mean to sound rough but Jewish education is so, so important. And Public School with religious training after, like some others wrote here is no substitute. There are certain things a Jew doesn't compromise on. Non-kosher meat is a lot cheaper than kosher meat. Would you eat it if you couldn't afford kosher...?

Is there a Jewish federation in your area that might offer scholarships? Maybe the school will accept some sort of volunteering on you or your husband's part in lieu of monetary compensation. I know that that has been done in schools in my area. A neighbor of mine just sent her kid to a school and she told them upfront we can't afford much but we are willing to pull our weight.

Best of luck to you and your family.

cuties' mom

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:35 pm

I worked in several NYC public schools and there are a few big issues that a frum kid would have:
1. Holidays- many public schools spend the whole October focusing on Halloween. The day after Halloween, they start with Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving they start x-mas, kwaanza and Chanuka. However, what they think Chanuka is vs what it really is, is very different. The public school systems acts like Chanuka is a Jewish x-mas. Do you want your kids celebrating halloween and x-mas?
2. intergender relations- public schools usually have dances and a prom. There is no concept of negiah at public school. Teachers also sometimes make inappropriate comments that for the not Jewish world is acceptable. High schools have signs encouraging kids to ask about s*x.
3. kashrus- obviously your kids would have to bring lunch, but won't they feel left out if whenever there is a party in school, they can't eat anything?
4. culture- public school kids watch a nice amount of tv and movies and that is frequently being discussed among students. Most kids in the bad schools and some kids in the not bad schools have a very colorful vocabulary. The social life that non jews expect to have in their teen years is very different than what a frum family expects.

That said, if you want a public school in Brooklyn that has frum kids, you may want to look into Gil Hodges on L and Bedford. I haven't been there since 2004 but I remember there were some frum kids there.

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:38 pm

OP here: I want to send them to a Jewish school, but first of all helping the school is a bit hard as I work full time and barley have time for my own kids, I try to help out with phone calls but more than that I really can't help out with, second of all, I'm not sure how long I would keep them in public school if it works out than it works out if not I will pull them out and figure out something else, I just feel that Yeshiva tuition is way to costly. All my friends kvetch about it but yet everyone seems to have $ to send to Yeshiva.

I know that davening helps and I do daven just right now, I don't even have a school accepting them regardless of tuition or not, everyone is away for the summer and I can't get interviews for another few weeks, as far as lubavitch is concerned it's far from me and not what we are looking for.

Please keep ideas forthcoming. thanks.

nicole81

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:47 pm

how old are your girls?

I'm fairly certain yeshiva of crown heights (in mill basin) has openings and would accept your dd's. they are also really really good about working with tuition.

it is probably not what you're looking for, but it's better than public school IMO. it's a coed MO school, but most of the kids that go there aren't even frum. however, their education is decent, both secular and judaic studies.

we are looking to start a pre-1A girls only class for september. I don't know if it will pan out or not, but regardless I will be sending there, as well as some other frum parents.

you can pm me for more info if you'd like.

watergirl

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 10:15 pm

I hear ya, OP. My kids school has a huge, beautiful sign on the front door that says "we will not deny a Jewish education to anyone who is unable to pay". Uh, right. Except for that teh school sent me a nasty letter a few months ago and the financial assistance guy said we wont get admit cards unless they get thousands of dollars... All I have to offer you is an understanding hug.

cindy324

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 11:15 pm

Quote:

I love the work that they do with children. And their ahavas yisroel is superb.

Yup, why is it that the rest of the frum world cannot learn from Lubavitch??? This is why I removed my dd from a popular Booklyn HS, and put her into a Lubavitch out of town school, where Ahavas Yisroel and being a mentsch is at the top of their jewish education, NOT mentality that as long as you "look the part" it's all good Rolling Eyes

Quote:

I'm sure ur talking about the same school, because I'm in the same boat as u are. We're talking about the school with principals Mrs. F and Mrs K, right? Trying to get my dd into the 5th grade, somewhere, getting the cold shoulder from whomever I did reach. Then again, this is Brooklyn, what did I expect???

And we're wondering why Moshiach is not here yet Sad