Any converts who homeschool?

Senior Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 236

I am just wondering how the BD will react to us pulling DD out of school? We have homeschooled in the past before we moved to the religious community. I am actually thinking about putting her in a distance learning school (an online public school basically) and then enrolling her in room613. Anyone have any experience with this? She hates the school she goes to, she has had nothing but problems with the kids all year and I am stressed and she is stressed and honestly we cannot afford the tuition. And where we live there are no other schools.
I appreciate any input.

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 4:04 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

How old is your child?

I pulled mine out of school, and I live in Brooklyn. We are homeschooling at least for the upcoming school year, and the remainder of this one (going back a few months already). And yes, I converted. The only thing that matters to me is the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health of my children--not what the neighbors, former school, or anyone else thinks. My husband is fully on board and I have a support base of friends from whom I garner chizzuk.

Senior Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 236

She's 11 and not having a good emotional or (IMO) spiritual experience in this school at all. I just don't want BD issues considering all the craziness involving conversion statuses lately. I guess I will talk to them but really what could they do? I mean would they really "revoke" my Jewishness because my dd isn't in school? I know others in the area who have homeschooled but I don't know if they converted with the local BD.

Senior Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 236

oh and I guess if anyone is uncomfortable posting here you can always PM me. I just really need some advice right now as I don't want to put her back into school come fall.

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 4:23 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

I simply can't imagine a normal Beis Din doing such a thing. As long as your conversion was sincere, and in accordance with halacha...and hopefully you are living an appropriate lifestyle, I don't see what the question is! You are doing the best thing for your child, and that is commanded by Torah.

I will try and PM you soon.

Senior Member Joined: Dec 06 2006 Posts: 204

When I pulled my son out of the local cheder I got a lot of flack, but no one ever said anything about my conversion. I think you need to do what's best for your daughter and not worry about what might or might not happen. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 4:35 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

not really to do with the conversion issue, but you might want to supplement the online learning with a face to face hebrew teacher once or twice a week (assuming you are not up to teaching your dd kodesh)

Senior Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 236

thank you for all the input. My dh and I are talking about it and we will decide over the summer for sure. I am sincere about Yiddishkeit which is why we enrolled her into school in the religious school in the first place. However, AFTER she has been there we have learned that it's more of a day school with uniforms rather than a truly frum school. One child told my daughter that her grandparents bring ham to family dinners and at lunch she ate nacho chips after hot dogs, etc. Shocked

Besides my daughter not really getting along with most of these girls, I feel like they are a bad influence on her. She wants to move to Lakewood...lol...My husband wants to move to Monsey...So in the future we may end up somewhere with schools we are happy with but for now, we are NOT happy with this school. I just don't want to jeopardize our observant lifestyle but I also don't want my daughter to have a horrible childhood. Crying or Very sad

Sorry about that tangent.
Oh and I am considering a tutor also, I just haven't talked to anyone about that yet.

Platinum Member Joined: May 22 2005 Posts: 10360

I've known the BD sometimes requires the kids BEFORE the conversion to be in a Jewish school, but after the fact? Never. I don't think there is anything they could do, except complain.

Do what you think is right.
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Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 5:11 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

Presuming that your child was born AFTER you converted, how are you (or I) any different from anyone else? I'm assuming people want children to be ON the derech and frum rather than not due to horrible experiences, chas v'shalom.

I mean, do they know every time a person loses their temper? Forgets to make a bracha? Skips the learning from exhaustion, etc? We're converts, but we're still as imperfect and human as all the other "born" yidden. They make mistakes too.

What you're discussing is not a mistake, but something you feel necessary for the well-being of your child, and subsequently family.

When and if you want to, it might be a good idea to consider moving to a community with more school choices and a more frum population. Although, I live in Brooklyn with several frum schools to choose from, and for the time being my children are home. I will not plan one way or another long term, but I must say we as a family are in love with homeschooling currently! My children are happy, B"H, and so are we.

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 5:13 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

I said the after part because I do not know regarding any children born prior to conversion, what any halachos or lasting requirements might be.

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 5:15 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

I am not a convert but I don't think BD has a say in how you choose to school your child after the fact. Do what is good for her.

Wow! I can't beleive there are 2 families who homeschool in Brooklyn! I wish I could join you. You should start a monthly meet where the kids can socialize and have a group activity.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 30 2006 Age: 25 Posts: 8559

We are thinking of pulling out our son from cheider as well. I think that in your situation, you should definitely do it.
My issue is that he is a boy and needs to learn chumash the right way, which I don't know how to teach myself. We're considering our options.

We are Baalei Teshuva, a bit of a different boat.
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Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 6:11 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

It's really none of the BD's business at this point. Our kids won't be going to Jewish schools but the BD is well aware that I am one of the most observant people they have put through and I don't think it would impact on my status.

We had initially planned to homeschool but I don't think I will be able to do it justice with at least 3 younger children at home when he starts (have to be realistic with myself about time and distractions etc), I don't want to do him a disservice. So at this point they will be going to public school and doing Jewish studies at home. I'm fine with some of the younger stuff but my husband has semicha and is very capable of teaching them all of the bigger stuff so I guess we may be in a slightly different situation to you. We don't have Jewish family though (me convert, him a BT from overseas and we don't have contact with his parents) and live in a non-Jewish area (3 religious families including us, we don't really have anything to do with one of them though but that's a long story). Our biggest difficulty will be in their experience of what most people would take for granted, services etc. We are close enough to have access on weekdays for some things and I hope that we can involve them in some things later to help with the social side of things (still a long drive each way so numerous daily minyanim are out) but not Shabbat or Yom Tov.

That probably didn't help at all but just thought I'd tell you our situation in case it is in any way reassuring. I think you'd be fine to pull her out if you think it would genuinely improve everyone's wellbeing. If it doesn't work out you could always send her back.
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Zevulun Yissachar -- 15th November, 2007
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Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 8:43 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

I currently homeschool and I converted a long time ago. The rav who was mekarev me is our halachic guide. He homeschooled his kids for a year while they were younger and is very enthusiastic about homeschooling and its benefits.

He is written up in this blog posting http://www.beyondbt.com/2010/05/25/torah-homeschooling/

If you want to PM me, please feel free.

PS Rodent, I think you and I are doppelgangers on opposite sides of the earth!!!

Yael
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jewishorthodoxandhomeschooling/

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 9:06 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

I do recall signing a document agreeing to keep mitzvot, marry someone jewish etc at my conversion. One of the condition on the letter was something like I promise to send children to jewish day school. Though it sounded like "best effort" rather than we-will-revoke-your-conversion-if-you-don't conditionality. I don't have the teuda with me (my conversion was looong time ago, in the US). Did anyone else receive such a letter from BD?

Posted: Thu, May 27 2010, 9:30 pm Post subject: re: Any converts who homeschool?

Yael - I feel very sorry for you if you're anything like me Razz

amother - I don't remember signing anything like that but there were verbal things I agreed to but in relation to mitzvot. I don't remember day school being amongst them, it's not a mitzva to send your child to a day school even if most may consider it the better way to do things (it could have been but I don't remember it being in there). It's not a fair condition to put on someone either. Once you have dunked you are Jewish, end of story. That condition isn't on any born Jew and it shouldn't be on a ger/gioret either, double standard. I do recall something about day school for whole families converting, but at the time of going through the process (for education and socially, the parents in such a situation were not at the point of being capable of teaching that themselves). Quite a different situation though really.

I do have my teuda closeby (few metres away, not that I've looked at it in years) but it doesn't have anything like that on it, it just has name, Hebrew name, date of conversion, rabbi signatures and names etc on it. Mind you, none of the rabbis who signed my teuda were at the mikveh, there are other documents with those and other details on them that are held in a file at the Beit Din itself (I'm not actually sure what the name of one of them is (know the other 2) and have been trying to find out for interest more than anything, will follow it up one of these days). Just saying that there could be other stuff in my file I guess but I don't remember that sort of thing. I certainly didn't get a letter with that stuff in it. I converted 6 1/2 years ago, feels like a lot longer.

Senior Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 236

Thank you again ladies for your input. It is very helpful.

Executive Member Joined: Jan 28 2007 Posts: 396

I addressed the issue of converts homeschooling recently on my blog: http://oceansofjoy.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/torah-home-education-and-conversion/. Hope you find it helpful.
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Avivah - lucky mom to nine fantastic kids!
http://oceansofjoy.wordpress.com - sharing on parenting, homeschooling, nutrition, frugality, homemaking, and lots more!

I am not a convert so I hope it's okay to post a reply. The beis din probably meant a Jewish day school as opposed to public school - homeschooling probably was not on the minds of those who wrote that condition.

I don't see why you should avoid homeschooling per se more than born Jews, BUT if it becomes knows that you are doing this and a bunch of other stuff that separate your family from what most frum families do, then people could start whispering. Your kids don't need that - they might find it hard enough to be thought of / think of themselves as somehow different.

If your kids are enrolled in an online Jewish school, you could say that they are actually in a Jewish school. But I don't know if the one you mentioned (and besides that I only know of Chabad) provides nearly as much Jewish education as a day school, and certainly less of a comprehensive Jewish atmosphere. In your kids' case, the socialization argument might be important - their being in an environment of a lot of Jewish people and learning all day long.

If the day school is a bad influence, I hope you can move to a frummer community soon.

I had a friend who was in a private nondenominational school for handicapped kids, and her parents hired a private morah to teach her Chumash and Rashi.
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