Is this normal or should I be concerned about sensory issue?

Gold Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 1606 Location: NY

For a while I've been debating if the following behavior is normal and age appropriate for my son who is almost 4 years old.

I would describe my son as very sensitive and (don't like to use the term but very appropriate) kvetchy. He's always complaining about something. He's picky about the temperature of the water he drinks, he complains that he can't eat his egg b/c it's too cold, he can't eat his cereal b/c it takes too long to eat. His tags itch him, he always gets itches. He gets visibly upset and complains that he's going to get headaches when his younger brother screams and sings too loud. He has lots and lots of temper tantrums. He's picky about his food touching and using different spoons for different foods.

But on the other hand, he has no problem running around barefoot. If snacks that he likes are mixed in one bag he'll still eat it.

So I was wondering if this is normal, typical behavior for his age or should I be concerned that there might be sensory issues involved?

My son (3 1/2) has a lot of odd things like you describe too and I also wonder what falls into normal range and what doesn't. He also has speech delays so I am much more focused on that at the moment, but I plan to just have a consult with an OT and see what they think.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

Sounds like my oldest who's senses are always on overload.
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Gold Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 1606 Location: NY

Thanks for your responses.

Amother, my son is also receiving speech therapy. I wouldn't call him speech delayed but he definitely has a hard time with certain sounds due to weak muscles (probably caused by long term pacifier use). Do you think I should run this by his speech therapist?

GR, are you doing anything about it? Should I be doing something?

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 09 2009 Posts: 3234

IMO, everyone has some sensory issues. The problem is when they are extreme enough to interfere with daily living. It sounds to me like an OT evaluation may be a good idea in this case. OT can work wonders if you have a good therapist.

There's certainly nothing to lose by having him evaluated. The worst that could happen is they'll decline him services, though he has more of a chance of getting it if he already gets speech therapy.

Happy Mommy, it sounds like he has sensory issues, although he may not qualify for services if his delay or issues aren't severe enough. No harm in having him evaluated for sensory issues. If you are in Bklyn there is a great sensory gym Pathways. In the city, there's Sensory Freeway. At this time of year you would probably have a hard time getting a slot but if your child qualifies for services, place him on the list for September, if you cannot get a slot at a center. If the school has an OT on site with availability, you might get a slot although for sensory issues a sensory gym is optimal.

Senior Member Joined: May 31 2009 Posts: 125

The Out of Sync Child is a great book, you might get some clarity from that.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

Gold Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 1606 Location: NY

I really appreciate everyone who took the time to respond.

Maybe I'll run this by his speech therapist and see what she suggests. How does a sensory gym help? I don't think it really interfers with his daily life, but I definitely need nerves of steel to work with him.

So now my question is how do I deal with the constant kvetching?

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

Let me know when you figure it out!

For now,
A) I ask my son to please use his strong voice
B) Things he's picky about I allow him to take care of without my interference, ie. washing his plate or fork between every type of food, things like that
C) I encourage him to give just a little bit, and I praise him when he does without me asking just then
D) It helps tons to prepare him in advance for any changes in routine, any change at all. He abhors button-shirts but I told him for 2 years that when he gets to Pre1A he will wear them everyday. He slid easily into it his new dress code although he rips it off the second he comes home. If we are having guests/visitors, I let him know a few days in advance that he will have to keep his shirt on when he gets home that day.
D) If he's tired/hungry/sick/needs to go to the bathroom, etc, he feels it so strongly (he's that sensitive) that it's prime time for temper tantrums and kvetching. He knows that when he comes home from school he needs to go straight to the bathroom, then straight for dinner, before playing or doing his homework (otherwise WW3 would erupt here).

He's a great kid and I wouldn't trade his type for any other, but I must say, he's the most demanding from all my kids of which he is the oldest. It ain't easy.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 12 2007 Posts: 20504

In my family we all "suffer" from sensory issues but thank G-d today there are ways to recognize and help kids. I would not say treat them because I don't think hyper sensitivity goes away. I deal with what you describe and there are days I want to be somewhere else! My 5 yo gets OT and emotional therapy as well and is doing nicely. We trained the gananot to recognize the "danger" signs before he has an outburst. Loud noises, stripes, colors - you name it, they can set him off. BH he has learned to control and with the ganenet's help is now willing to go to a quiet place to allow his senses to rest. A strict regimented schedule also helps. Hang in there.

The fact that he doesn't mind running around barefoot can also be an indication of sensory stuff, not the opposite. Every sensory issues child has their own set of unique issues.

I second the Out of sync child. It's a good book that can make things clearer for you and help you understand what you should do about it.
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I'll third teh book the out of synch child
it helped me understand ds better

Executive Member Joined: Jul 24 2007 Posts: 339

I would definately get him evaluated ASAP to rule out any issues and if there are issues better to deal sooner than later,I have been there done that please get proffesional advice.Do it for your child!

Gold Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 1606 Location: NY

Thanks for all the informative replies.

It's good to hear that there are others like this too.

GR, our kids seem quite similiar in this aspect. He's my oldest as well and I always tell dh that he's the most demanding one and it's so hard to juggle the younger ones. I totally agree that routine with him is a necessity. Hunger or overtired is a disaster. What exasperated the issue is that my baby was unexpectedly hospitalized for several days so without warning he was away from home for awhile.

All in all he's a real perceptive child with a huge heart but I want to make sure I help him through these issues in the right way. Thanks for recommending the book "The Out of Sync Child", I will definitely check it out. I also plan on discussing this issue with his speech therapist and maybe try for an evaluation.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

There's also "The Highly Sensitive Child" which helped me recognize the extent of my son's sensitivities.

As I said, my son is also getting speech, and has a very hard time expressing his needs and wants. For this reason, although very often what he says doesn't come out very nicely, I focus on his message and ignore the way it came out. We work on politeness separately, once his needs/wants are taken care of.
Just sharing in case your son has that too.